Re: Alneyan v. Jurri, Docket No. __________
On second thoughts, I think I will pursue more mundane means, seeing just how expensive your fees are. We do not give our dear President that much money, so why should you get a prince's ransom? Tsk, tsk.
Nonetheless, we thank you for your answer, and promise not to harm you bodily... not too much, at any rate. Public figures have been known to be annoyed by the masses, time and again, and have resolved to using devices including, but not limited to: mobile phones, golf clubs, and two-handed swords.
On another note of interest, we will try to make his slander a case of violating national security: not only is Jurri's libel is defamatory, but his words are a direct threat to the establishment, for calling someone a skank is an invitation to be dated, stalked, or otherwise assaulted. Seeing how I am part of the local entity made by those boards, any threat to my safety is most naturally a matter of concern for the greater body of government.
As stated above however, we will handle this case on our own, relying on our own associates. If we are thwarted in court, other means shall be used as deemed appropriate... or we will simply sue Jurri time and again, under every single jurisdiction in the whole world and beyond, until being involved in seventeen trials (all happening at the same moment, of course) brings his peaceful demise.
Attached to this document is a sample of our Blackmail directory, under the Pasha heading: one such attachment will come with every single letter we forward to your office, though we may forward such data to other parties at our own discretion.
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