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Mephisto said:
No problem. I'm a bit weird.
You are all right that the baby should have the highest priority. There is no debating that and no one did. But let’s not forget that not all people live the way you and I live.
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I don't see this as a subjective thing depending on the way someone lives, I see this as a basic responsibility of having kids.
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Yes, there might be pillows that prevent the rolling and suffocation. But not everyone has access to them. The medical standards of the US are not met by most of the world.
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This is why I said there were "other methods". There are ways to wedge blankets and regular pillows so that the baby can't move.
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Yes, there are monitors. “Real” monitors – not baby phones- are expensive and will not be covered by insurances if no hint for a higher risk for SIDS is diagnosed (talking for Germany, of course). Baby phones make you feel save but you aren’t. If a baby suffocates, it doesn’t cry any more. It has no breath for it [Hence the “first” rule for a paramedic: The one who can cry is treated last, he has enough breath. The ones not crying any more are the severe patients.]. I had my share of SIDS as a paramedic and the parents were sleeping right next to the child.
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What you call "baby phones" is what most people call Baby Monitors. You can pick them up in the US starting at about $30. No they are not full proof, but if your baby starts making noises during it's sleep, you should hear it and be alerted to go in and check on the baby. Furthermore, we're not talking about a case of SIDS here, the article says when they got home they found her on her stomach which leads one to believe that they did not place her that way, she rolled over. In which case, see my above response.
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Yes, I wouldn’t let my child be alone for any length of time. However, we all do not know when the baby died. It could have been 2 minutes after the last person left it or 2 minutes before they returned. Before calling for punishment we should convince ourselves if they could have done anything about it. Just because they were not there did not necessarily killed the baby. That’s my main point.
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When the baby died is irrelevant. The question is, were they negligent (failing to give proper care and attention) in the death of their child and therefore should they be punished? Could they have forseen that leaving a 4 month old alone for 5 hours could result in the baby dying or coming to harm? I think the answer is obviously yes.
I will use this metaphor on how I see this: if I let my friend drive my car and that person gets into an accident, that is a true accident and it is not my fault in any way--I could not have forseen the accident. HOWEVER, if I let my friend drive my car while KNOWING THEY ARE DRUNK OUT OF THEIR MIND and they get into an accident, I am negligent and therefore have committed a crime and should be punished.
No, it is not the same severity as if I intentionally committed a crime, but I knew very well a horrible accident could occur by letting my friend drive my car while intoxicated and I lent them my car anyway.
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Leslie, I admire your resolution to sleep in shifts and have a constant watch over your child. But I stand to my point that not very many parents can do this, neither physically nor economically.
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I think we shall agree to disagree on this issue as I see much of your arguments to be 'strawmen' arguments in that they don't fit this particular case in which very poor judgement was used. I agree that not everyone can watch their child 24/7. However, we are not talking about someone who went out to their mailbox to get their mail and came back in to find their child suffocated. We're not talking about someone who went to sleep and when they got up to check on their child in the night, they found their child had died from SIDS. Those are horrible tragedies that no parent should have to go through IMO and I feel sorry for anyone who has had to go through that kind of loss.
Instead we are talking about careless and neglectful parents who felt it was okay to leave their child home alone in house for hours at a time. Did they find a babysitter? No. Did they call the neighbor to go down and check on her from time to time even? No. Did they even think twice about leaving this child home alone? Well from the statement they made, I would think the answer to that is No (unless it took more than 2 hours, they only feel guilty it seems about that part). Parents are responsible for their child's well being and safety until they are to the age to take care of themselves. To me it seems they not only failed to do this (by choice, not by mere accident) but they laughed in the face of it by putting their desire to play a game above their child's well being and leaving the child home alone for 5 hours. An act that I believe the majority of people would find indefensible and unforgivable.
Simply put, I hope they throw the book at them.
Mindi signing out.