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Old January 2nd, 2009, 11:39 AM
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A glorious day in Oceanian history!

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In the most pivotal battle of the Alien Wars, Oceania's ragtag band of waterbreating misfits delivered a crushing upset to the mind-bending juggernaut known as R'lyeh.

Having suffered defeat after defeat, and losing most of their heroes to mind-hunting sniper fire, Oceania's generals decided to make a possibly final stand in the Pharaexian Sea.

With a force that consisted mainly of knife-wielding tritons, the Oceanians poured fourth from the gates of the mighty Pharaexian Citadel to meet the approaching tenticled horde.

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But this was not to be a usual engagement. To the surprise of the Starspawn, our ichtysatyrs would not be paralyzed; our triton knights would not be enslaved. No, this time Lugal - a Lizard Shaman with a hatred of aliens and a snorkel - was present on the field. Gripping the latest edition of "The Oceanian Journal of Enchantment," Lugal took advantage of the Banner of the Northern Star waived by R'lyeh's rear guard and fortified the minds of the Oceanian column with a thick layer of Antimagic.

With the mind-altering powers of the R'lyean artillery now neutered, the Oceanians charged headlong into the bristling tridents of the Meteroite Guard formations. Casualties were heavy, as expected, but the troops knew they need only hold out for 5 minutes of combat. Inspired by the words of a cadre of high-ranking religious officials, the line held.

It was at this moment that the Oceanians played their offensive trump card, and huge sharks suddenly began appearing all over the battlefield with a thirst for alien blood. The Starspawn, exhausted from their futile attempts to enslave the determined Triton Knights, had little left to throw against the ever increasing feeding frenzy.

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The Meteorite Guards were quickly surrounded: tritons to the front, sharks to the rear. When their line broke, chaos ensued, and the resulting bloodbath brought only more of the undersea predators. In desperation, the Illithids were ordered into the fray, but were torn to pieces by the hungry beasts.

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In the end, the real victory was not on the field, but in the minds of the BonsaiKittens. For Oceania has proven she yet has some fight left in her, and that the R'lyeh-Shinuyama alliance can be defeated. World leaders, whose wisdom forbade them from entering a fight on the losing side, now see that passivity is no longer necessary, and prepare their troops for battle against the samurai.

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