I think this sounds like the best alternative. As stated, this removes the grounds for arguments and accusations. At least the only way to trade tech (including colonization) is to actually swap ships, which takes much more effort than just agreeing to trade a whole shopping list of technologies.
How about this: I trade a shipyard and a ship with all the comps I want to trade to you, and you give a shipyard and a ship to me. I use your shipyard to analyze the ship you gave me, and you use my shipyard to analyze my ship. Then, we give the shipyards back to the other party.
