OT - Tigg-scoff birthday party

[Timstone]

Okay, I understand.
Then give a beer and I'll be happy again.

[mac5732]

Blame the old guy huh???? pick on us old timers. sheeeesseeee

The evidence is put forth by a lawyer for pete's sake, thats says it all

Contrary to the ascertations of one furry, halucinating feline, I must confess that during the time in question, yours truly was quite drunk to the point where he was in never never land dreaming about Liz Hurly...., and therefore was in no proper condition to conduct any type of research into demonstrating the CTW or TGP.

However, investigating the evidence as put forth by one who is covered in fur and a questionable lawyer to boot , it seems that some unscruplulous rascal partook upon himself the expediant performance of hands on refreshment in regards to expiditing his enjoyment by incorporating himself into said demonstrations. In regards to the evidence found, Yours truly would have only been up to finding his way to the inner sanctum and the tidy bowl diety due to the chili cuisine along with numerous brewskis that were imbibed upon during said bash. In looking further into this allegation, I have researshed the whereabouts of certain members of the cantina and have found the following to be without upstanding and solid alibis.

Tesco
Saxon
Memphisto
Puke
Geo
Dogscoff

Any of the aforementioned, or for that matter, all of them could have perpetrated this type of mischief. I say all as there were more then one FBW involved in the demonstrations (of which I must state I missed due to incapacitation ), and therefore a group excercise in the demonstrations would not be out of the question. I have interrogated some of the FBW involved and they have provided some knowledge that might enhance the apprehension or indentification of said perpetrators. However, all of the above must be questioned lst in order to ascertain they side before further investigation is conducted.

Now who do YOU think it was from the above list? or was it someone else

a still recovering mac

[Growltigga]

Hmmmm... your aged incapacity, doubtful smell and poor standards of personal hygiene do make it exceedingly unlikely that a FBW, even under the influence of the forgetto beam or even, dare I mention that which must not be mentioned (the dreaded nymphobeam), would go near you let alone engage in any naughty acts..

You still get whalloped round the head with the naily baseball bat for casting dispersions on my career and my integrity. Only paying clients can do the latter.

I think it was Saxon. Anyone who kisses Moose is capable of anything, and one of the most apt adages in England is the one that goes "never trust a Canadian"

[TerranC]

Originally posted by Growltigga:
"never trust a Canadian"

hmm, is that what brits have to say about their fellow commonwealth members now?

Abandon the commonwealth!
Ditch the queen!
People's Republic of Canada forever!

... I'm sorry, I think I had too much coors.

[ September 20, 2002, 17:41: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Gryphin]

Phew, the greatested example of mass delusion the galaxy has ever known. Those pleasure beams at the cantina really do work.
Some how they did not prevent hangovers. hmm. wonder who programed that in.

[Growltigga]

Gryphin, I am ashamed at you..

YOU might have spent the Last few days in a state of trance but the rest of us had a wonderful drunken sordid fantabulous party with tons of dancing and grooving and loads of music

Roll on next year

[Timstone]

That must be Bill Gates, I think. That A$$w!pe always seems to get the better end of the deal. With Windows he gets all the money and we get all the trouble.
And here too. He gets all the money and we get the hangovers.

[Gryphin]

Hmm,
Speculating, Maybe somebody "beamed" me and I missed the party? Who would do such a thing?
The must be an Investigation!!!!

[dogscoff]

*Gradually, the bizarre dreams and string of meaningless sounds that have been streaming through his conciousness begin to seperate, and Dogscoff is able to discern that he is now awake and somewhere very noisy. As conciousness returns further and his senses begin to report back, he learns more things: That he is lying face down, that his limbs are reluctant to move and that it feels like someone is dynamite-fishing in his head. Also, evidence from his taste buds indicates that someone has been using his mouth as a recepticle for month-old chinese restaurant leftovers.

When he can put it off no longer, he opens his eyes. Yes, he definitely is lying face down, that's definitely the floor. Why is it flashing orange though? He blinks a few times and it doesn't stop flashing. A loud rumbling noise ends in a sharp pain in the ribs and what can only be swearing in some language Dogscoff does not recognise. He moves his head to see a big grey lump behind the luggage cart which has just been shoved into his body. The lump speaks, in broken English:

"Hey! Get you out my way."
"Where am I?"
"You in my way, sticky human-man. You get out my way."
"What day is it?"
"It Saturday. You get out my way or I get security move you."
"Saturday? Last thing I remember it was Tuesday. There were these girls, and then 'Tigga opened a bottle of Vaxin Absynthe..."
"Shut up you talking and get you out my way, sticky human-man. I call security."

Registering pain with every movement, Dogscoff pulls himself into a crawling position and drags himself out of the Druckshokan's path. This action is made even more difficult by the layer of stale honey which coats his entire body. He notes a trail of honey leading from his current position to a waste disposal chute. "That would explain why I'm covered in rubbish" he thinks sourly, "but not why I'm naked, nor why I have these three extra arms."
Fragmented memories of a seedy tattoo & prosthetic parlour on some Xiati world come back to him. He was fed up going back to the bar again and again on large rounds, and wanted to be able to carry more drinks. Where was that?
"Where am I?" He asks again, as the Drukshockan with the luggage cart moves through the honey trail.
"You in spaceport, stupid sticky human-man."
"What planet?"
"What planet? You stupid stupid sticky stupid human-man. You on planet Mee Nogle. System Kye Lee Li. West Druckshockan Territory. Official most boring colonised planet in Galaxy."
"But that's more than 800 light years away. Where's my ship? Where are my Underwater minions? Where are the girls from the party..?"

The Druckshockan mutters more insults and shuffles off across the ship loading area to a small transport which is waiting for its Last few passengers. Dogscoff looks up to see a departure board. The transport's number is up there, and it is already 5 minutes late. The ramp closes behind its Last passenger, and the orange flashing hazard lights die as the ship lifts into the air. Dogscoff looks back to the departures board. The transport's details disappear and are replaced by those of the next flight. It's an Abbidon freighter heading into Zynarra space. It arrives here in just over 3 months. 3 MONTHS..?

Dogscoff slumps back into his honey-puddle and wonders if he can sleep for that long...

[dogscoff]

*bump*