(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers - Page 12

Taera · #**111** June 5th, 2003, 04:26 AM

theoretically it is possible to get them Online... we have mutual friends who have internet. and also the phone, yes. but... i dont know. for some reason i dont... well, dont know. personally id prefer a face-to-face talk. it.... somehow feels wrong to call someone simply to complain about my troubles.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**112** June 5th, 2003, 05:18 AM

call them. there's nothing wrong with it, your not calling collect.

tbontob · #**113** June 5th, 2003, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Taera:
theoretically it is possible to get them Online... we have mutual friends who have internet. and also the phone, yes. but... i dont know. for some reason i dont... well, dont know. personally id prefer a face-to-face talk. it.... somehow feels wrong to call someone simply to complain about my troubles.

Taera, it is the rare individual who goes through life without a crisis of some sort. Some of us have many crisises.

When I had my first one I felt the same way and I have regreted it.

My friends were very supportive but being somewhat independant, I felt I was a burden to them. Later, I learned I wasn't and they wished that I hadn't withdrawn.

A real friend will be there for a friend. Only he knows when it becomes a burden for him. So, if it does happen, let him be the one to tell you that it has become too much for him to handle.

If you are still troubled about this, then be upfront about it. Tell him/her that you fear you may become a burden and when that happens you want to be told. Let them decide on whether it has become a burden for them.

Most people feel good when someone approaches them for an ear.

The major exception may be if they are stressed out themselves about something. Two things can happen then. They tell you it is a bad time and they have little resources available to explore your situation. Or you both really connect and share your difficulties with each other.

Taera · #**114** June 5th, 2003, 08:13 AM

there are a couple things pausing me there.

first, as i've put it elsewhere, ive never spilled my troubles before anyone. as a matter of fact ive all too often had been on the receiving end. as such i dont usually feel comfortable telling people my deeper secrets & thoughts. as i said, this topic is a very rare exception because when i posted it i was in a very, very deep depression every evening, and it, well, was driving me crazy

.

second... well, that might sound silly, but i like my privacy

if i call them my talk _will_ get emotional and.. well, there are my parents (to answer the unasked question, i dont give them all my heart secrets). If i get them to talk from someone's ICQ it will ultimately be seen by someone else and, well, i dont feel comfortable when my talk is being watched (very silly but true).

i... dont know. i might follow the suggestion and talk to them. soon.
and yes, i know i myself am complicating the issue

tbontob · #**115** June 5th, 2003, 08:27 AM

Nothing is silly about our feelings. They exist and are very real.

There appear to be barriers. Explore them. "What do I feel about this?" If your stomache tightens or your mind races, ask "What is it about _______that is causing this reaction?" Ask "Is it ________? If your stomache tightens or your mind races you have found something out. Continue asking until you feel you have a handle on the barriers which are preventing you from contacting your friends.

At some point you are going to have to make decision on whether to contact your friends or not. Avoiding the decision is still a decision.

So explore the conditions which will make you most comfortable to call them. Maybe then the first call can be made.

Taera · #**116** June 20th, 2003, 07:39 AM

this now is an old topic, and i guess its about time for it to sink into the old threads place... but before it does so i'd like to thank everyone for their support. no, my life isnt perfect yet - in fact not much had changed since but im over my doom moods. i've some plans for the summer that'll get me out and some of my school aquitances might next year come to be friends. likely. i'm counting my blessings, as i usually do. thanks everyone.

an interesting note. no im not trying to spark a discussion in this thread (thats the longest thread ive ever started btw, 8 pages i mean). my computer had fried two weeks ago. it is expected from a person who, like me, spends a lot of the computer, to feel horrible when that happens. i dont. i spend some time on my parents' computers, read through books. i didnt feel anything when it happened, just somewhat annoyed at not getting the right things to do (the other pc's are slower) and... susprisingly some minor relief.

[ June 20, 2003, 06:40: Message edited by: Taera ]

narf poit chez BOOM · #**117** June 20th, 2003, 08:22 AM

no doom moods sounds like big improvement.
and maybe you need some time off from the computer. sometimes, hobbies can suck up to much time, and then it's time to take time.

Ruatha · #**118** June 20th, 2003, 11:48 AM

I belive I've said this before.
I quit with computers in 1987 (sold them) and didn't use one regularly until 1992, the best thing I ever done.
Changed job career and started being much more social.
Now I'm using it regularly again but in a different phase in life so it doesn't have such an impact anymore.

[ June 20, 2003, 10:55: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

minipol · #**119** June 22nd, 2003, 10:02 PM

Well, i'm in the process of finding a new job. I work in IT and it can be a big difference of what company you are in. I'm working in an IT firm that focuses on e-business. But working in an IT firm opposed to a company not in the IT sector (but still being imployed in the IT departement) can be a *huge* difference.

You get to be more social in the latter that in a pure IT firm or you would have to be a sales or support person. That's why i want to move. Starts to tick me off.