You Might Be A Fat Emperor If:

[Atrocities]

You Might Be A Fat *** Emperor If:

1. You out weigh your own battleship.
2. You need rocket boosters to get from a seated to standing position.
3. Your belt size is measured as Equator.
4. Your people are nothing more than food stock
5. The Last time you were in space, someone tried to colonize you.
6. The sun orbits YOU.
7. You have sixty planets producing food, and thats just for breakfast.
8. You need to use anti-gravity sleds to move about.
9. When you boarded your orbiting Battleship, it nearly crashed into the planet.
10. If you have ever gone to war against McDonalds Consortium for making you fat.

[Gandalf Parker]

[sarcasm on]
HEY kiss my afterburners. I can be a Fat Emperor if I want. Because I AM THE EMPEROR! Let the rest eat cake.

Ruling an empire is very fattening because you get everyone else to do your exercising. What? you expect me to whip my own subjects?!?
[/sarcasm]

[jfp3]

...part of your morning routine is clearing the previous nights dinner plates and snack wrappers off your computer desk before opening SEIV for the next turn (started the night before over a bowl of steaming pasta....)

[jfp3]

...Any and all contacts with an Organic Race makes you wonder what surprises await in the fridge...

[dogscoff]

... you can check you construction queues, put ships on sentry, transfer cargo, launch/recover units and cargo remotely but not much else because your belly covers the bottom half of the keyboard and your mouse.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Your equivalent of the Mir space station landed on your belly and has just zoomed past Pioneer 10.

You can't attend the celebratory opening of your first Sphereworld because you'd crush everyone to death inside.

A ship enters a freak warp point and comes out your ***.

Your mouth can suck up more than a Black Hole.

Your farts are Nebulas.

Someone fired a CSM at you and it's still stuck in one of your pores.

Your burps are more effective than Level 5 Plague Bombs.

Your breakfast cereal consists of Ringworlds and you still want another helping.

You are your own home world.

You generate more gravity than a black hole.

Those tiny specks that always circle around you are your own Galaxy.

Somebody held a lighter underneath you when you farted and you suddenly find you've launched yourself into another dimension.

You eat 100 Pizza Hawaiis for breakfast --- and the pineapple rings are Ringworlds.

You sneeze and all systems, planets, anomalies, ships, bases, etc. within 5000 light years in front of you were launched into the Greater Magellanic Cloud.

You measure the circumference of your hip with a warp point spanning from one end of the Galaxy to another and still it's too short.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

UPS won't ship you unless you pay 250000000 million x 250000000 million x 250000000 million lightyears of Spice.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

When you yell you cause an earthquake three dimensions higher.

Astronomers from another planet classified you as "Mega-Galaxy" after spotting you through their telescopes.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Your *** is the only access to another dimension.

And no, I'm not just trying to get my Posts up!

[Starhawk]

Your war machine is dedicated to conquering fast food industries throughout the galaxy.

You invaded the Taco Bell planet....

You make it a federal felony for your chefs to add vegetables to your dinner menu......the punishment being they are placed on the menu.

(here's a crude one don't read if you have any sense of maturity)

You took a dump and it started a new species.