Jokes and Riddles Centre

[El_Phil]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Scary why? It's a little cat thing that runs around your desktop, what is there to be afraid about?

Not the cat, just the fact I can remember installing it about a Decade ago and I suddenly was straight back around that time. Just the comparison between all the things I thought I'd be doing now and what I'm actually doing.

Time doesn't fly, it's ****ing races by....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

It doesn't ****ing race by, it HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF HORSE CR*P FRIGGIN WARPS BY!!!!!

[El_Phil]

Except today when I swear I could see the minute hand slow down it was that boring.

"Lectures on dredging for industrial minerals? Just say no kids."

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Ooooooh and I thought my French classes were boring..... I'm really sorry for you.

[El_Phil]

Everything comes with a price. In this case I am currently paying the price for the lectures (and demonstrations) of explosives

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

The Neko program has stopped working. No idea why, except maybe trying to add to many cats.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I have no idea..... NARF LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!!!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

/me doesn't look.

Actually funny Ikea commercial:

'Does this sound familiar to you?'

'I want a designer kitchen!'

'Can't afford it.'

'I want a designer kitchen!'

'Can't afford it.'

'If it does, then come to Ikea (Blah blah blah)'

'Yaay!...Now I want a pony!'

'Thanks a lot.'

[Rathar]

Ok jokes, got a ton of them..

Tests the waters first though..

Whats yellow, orange and red and looks good on Frat boys?

Fire

Whats Brown and Tan and looks good on Hippies?

Rottweilers.

Best to tell these with polar opposites so you can be assured of offending the entire spectrum.

A woman walks into a pharmacy and goes to the pharmacist and says " Hello, I need to buy some Arsenic in order to poison my husband." The pharmacist looks appaled and says "Madam, I cannot help you with this as it is both illegal and immoral!"

Whereupon the woman reaches into her purse and pulls out a picture of her husband and the pharmacist' wife having sex..

The pharmacist says, "You should have told me you had a prescription!"

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The little white cat (still about three times bigger than Narf) jumps the little white mouse and devours it, only its tail visible from the smiling mouth.

Then suddenly it looks wierd and is knocked back about 3 miles by a massively oversized hammer from inside its mouth.