Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours - Page 104

Growltigga · #**1031** October 5th, 2002, 03:21 PM

I have not been watching the Young Ones at all.... (wasn't it Bernard O'Grady with the world's largest bogey? and didn't Rick (spelt with a silent 'p') get the accoldae for the world's silliest bottom-burp??

The trivia machine is great, how is this one for a wonderful piece of trivia:

"BALL THROWING

The further distance a standard 155g 51/4 oz cricket ball was thrown by a girl was 2.28m (7ft 6inches) slighter longer than the length of a standard house door, by Maureen Felcher. The throw was made whilst playing for the South African National Ladies' Cricket Team against Zimbabwe in 1988, and was rewarded by a standing ovation from the crowd"

Gryphin · #**1032** October 5th, 2002, 03:45 PM

Hmm, GT posting on a Sattudday. Is this new or is he just boared at home?

Gryphin · #**1033** October 5th, 2002, 03:53 PM

Q, Re your missing planet:
You can post a "Missing Planet" add here. I'm sure GT is willing to put a pic of it on the side of one of our products. Maby even a poster on the wall

Growltigga · #**1034** October 5th, 2002, 04:16 PM

Gryph-meister... I am actually in the office working on a Saturday.. how'sa about that for dedication or stupidity, I have resigned and they have refused to accept it (can you beleive that and when I asked them what incentives they were going to make me stay, they said we will think about it and can you do this rush job for us)

I AM A BONA FIDE PRO TANTO MUPPET OF THE FIRST ORDER AND NO MISTAKE AND THEN SOME....

DOHHHHHHHH

I love this trivia machine...

Here's a rude one

"HIGHEST LUNCHBOX PRESSURE

The greatest internal pressure sustained in a pair of happy sacks is one of 65 atmospheres 955lb/inch sq or approximately 49,900mm of mercury at sea level, in the wobberly dangley bits of veteran pop singer Sir Cliff Richard, following 45 year build up without being used....

This is equivalent to 6 times the pressure currently bearing down on the hull of Titanic and it is estimated that should Sir Cliff Richard get frisky and let loose a jizzbolt, the reult could attain a peak altitude of 335m 1100ft comfortably clearting the radio mast on top of La Tour Eiffel

Do I get moderated yet?

Taz-in-Space · #**1035** October 5th, 2002, 07:36 PM

...Hmmm, Taz notes that GT's mind seems to be a tad LOWER than the gutter recently

...
...Could it be that the SEWER GOD has gained a NEW follower?

Or maybe the trivia machine needs to be placed in the Gents Room!

Growltigga · #**1036** October 6th, 2002, 01:31 AM

Attention: For your enjoyment and edification, the Cantina has installed at great expense a Trivia and Fact Machine.. please collect tokens at the bar from the Tazmanian Devil...

This is a highly amusing and erudite experience for all cantina patrons.

For example, I was staggered to find out the following from the Trivia Machine in its 'Guiness World Book of Records' section

"The Most Evil Bottomburp

The most pungent flatulation ever was dropped by Balthazar Beauty of Babylon (knon as 'Fartarse' to his owner, a mature pedigree Newfoundland dog owned by a Miss Eileen Sidebottom of Dartford, England. The 63.4kg (140lb) canine had just eaten six tins of pilchards, eight tins of tripe, washed down with a gallon of milk when it dropped its guts on BBC TV's Record Breakers programme. It is estimated that the reultant gaseous emission could permeate a building three times the volume of the Millennium Dome with a putrid aroma of rotting cabbage, Frenchman's breath and sewer gas.

It took Dyno-rod 3 weeks and approximately 600 man hours to clear the smell from the studio, and some members of the audience are still suffering side-effects to this day. Mr Charles Gurney-Campion from Hampshire described the canine giffing as "so strong it made my ear wax melt"."

The other fact I particularily like was this one:

"Most Vicious Motion

The stickiest motion ever produced was a stool passed by driving instructor Wolfgang Ubergruber of Frankfurt, Germany. After being stuck in a traffic jam for 5 hours in the hot summer of 1976 with nothing to eat but a 4lb box of dairy fudge, 2 bottles of 'Bitburger' beer and a 5lb bottle of sauerkraut, Herr Ubergruber went to the toilet. THe resultant excrement was so viscous that eight full rolls of toilet paper, approximately 1600 sheets, were needed before he attained an even vaguely acceptable level of bottomly cleanliness. He also managed to read 3 short novels whilst enjoying the experience.."

Beats a jukebox anyday

Growltigga · #**1037** October 6th, 2002, 12:31 PM

ALL HAIL THE SEWER GOD.

I watched that Blade II movie Last night on video.
I dont beleive this line,

"You are human?"
"Barely, I am a lawyer"

Give us legal eagles a bad name.

Anyhow, despite my new found allegiance to the Sewer God, I shall refrain from any more sub-standard smutty remarks

Growltigga · #**1038** October 6th, 2002, 02:30 PM

"Awwwww" says GT being carried shoulder high by assorted FBW's into the 'special' office marked 'den of inequity, dungeon of pain, rehabilitation centre and petty cash', "I really quite liked that sewer outlet I stuck my head in, there were lots of interesting wriggly things in there I was making friends with and I was getting some quite intelligent conversation as well.."

The door slams and after a few seconds of deathly silence, Growltigga's voice can be heard hysterically pleading "not the eggwhisk, not the eggwhisk NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Taz, happily testing the quality and potency of the beverages behind the bar, considers to himself that Growltigga should really have been more generous to the FBW's in the Last round of pay reviews....

A whirring sound can be heard coming from the petty cash department and Taz realises WHY the FBW's were so keen on him to fix that extension cable to the hand held blender

Raging Deadstar · #**1039** October 6th, 2002, 03:40 PM

*The screams of GT are heard throughout the cantina*

*An FBW comes over to RD, smiles and asks him if he wants to have some fun*

"Well yeah sure"

*Notices the kitchen appliances she is so innocently trying to hide behind her back*

"Actually, i'll think i'll pass..."

RD realises that perhaps he should have been more specific when giving the fbw's instructions, unless the gryphin position involves blenders i'm sure they arn't being friendly!

*GT can be heard shouting "OK i'll give you a rasie, just don't use the blender ther...yaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwwwwww"*

Raging Deadstar · #**1040** October 6th, 2002, 03:41 PM

*The screams of GT are heard throughout the cantina*

*An FBW comes over to RD, smiles and asks him if he wants to have some fun*

"Well yeah sure"

*Notices the kitchen appliances she is so innocently trying to hide behind her back*

"Actually, i'll think i'll pass..."

RD realises that perhaps he should have been more specific when giving the fbw's instructions, unless the gryphin position involves blenders i'm sure they arn't being friendly!

*GT can be heard shouting "OK i'll give you a raise, just don't use the blender ther...yaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwwwwww"*