Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina

[Gryphin]

acknowledging I can't top that I here by hand my
"Tigga Bating Award" to dogscoff.
I have been humbled.

[Growltigga]

The camera pulls back and pans over the chaos in the cantina.

In the corner we have that Rudi Voller lookalike, Mephisto, enjoying a quiet stein or two, elsewhere the floor of the cantina is scattered with broken traps (strangely having pictures of Paul Scholes in each of them), a flaming Tigga is bouncing round the floor.

Tigga bounces into Mephisto and knocks over his stein and then proceeds to douse said flames in lager. "Huzzah" thinks Tigga, "Luckily I was wearing my flame-proof Schumacher catsuit". Tigga goes to secret hatch on all and pulls lever, activating giant magnet on crane outside cantina door. Dogscoff, still with shotgun inserted up his rectum is sucked into the air bottom-first and is stuck to magnet. Tigga moves magnet over back of cantina and drops Dogscoff into large vat of dogpoo.

Dogscoff stumbles out of vat covered in flop (and still smelling like a hobo's underwear thanks to Gryphin's earlier short sighted assault). Whilst Dogscoff is dazed, Tigga then gets his trusty cricket bat and whops Dogscoff hard on the nogggin. Whilst the D is prone, GT ties a bungee cord (suspended under high tension from crane) to Dogscoff's backside and then lets El Scoffo go ---- BOINGGGGGGG

Tigga goes back to the bar, clears up the traps, repairs the mess, buys Mephisto another couple of beers and complements him on looking like Helmut Kohl, puts Demis Roussos on the jukebox, removes 'Tigga Flambee" from the menu and puts "La Pied de Dogscoff a la boing" instead, sticks up another sign banning 'Gryphin' from the cantina, buys a bottle of vintage champagne (on Gryphin's tab), puts on the TV and settles down to watch the Mexico/Italy match with great relish

[ June 13, 2002, 13:44: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Gryphin]

:: Kneels at Tiggas feet, Hands Tigga the crown for the un announced “ Cantina Banter Bash” which The Mighty GrowlTigga has won before it ever got started., Hangs head, Kow Tows 3 times ::

[Gryphin]

:: Gives credit card to Tigga, Pays off Tiggas tab. Slinks away ::

[dogscoff]

I didn't realise they kept a big vat of dogpoo at the back of the cantina.

Last time I order the chilli con carne...

[Growltigga]

LOL, Dogscoff, you were safe with the chilli con carne, I think it was the meatloaf and sphagetti puttanesca which contained the spurious ingredients. Actually, you really dont want to know what was in the pizzas which Gryph and Mac were squabbling over

Gryphin, thanks for settling the GT tab, I will buy you a beer and Dogscoff a beer and appropriate medical cover. Mephisto gets a picture of Claudia Schiffer. Mac gets a colostomy bag and the rest of the cantina possee get a long walk of a short pier except Saxon, who gets a hot date with an aardvaark

Speaking of large vats of dogpoo, have any of you tried tonkatsu? I am really not convinced about that - they are lovely people the Japanese but the cuisine we get in the West is heavily sanitised compared to what gets eaten over here- yuk!!!

PS I am broke cos I have treated myself to a new laptop - top of the range dells are cheaper over here but has done a bit of damage to my holiday budget, oh well..

PPS ENGGAAALLLLAAAANNNNNDDD EENNNGGGLLAAAAAAANNNDD NYAH NNYAH

PPS Gryph, next time you kow tow, make sure I can hear you saying "I am not worthy I am not worthy"

[ June 13, 2002, 14:10: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[Saxon]

Saxon wakes up from underneath a table, still suffering dreadfully from the seventeen pitchers of beer that he found brought to him every fifteen minutes. He looks at the receipt and notes that Tigga signed for them all and then understands it is not a hangover, but actually a case of attempted poisoning. Seventeen pitchers would not normally have such an effect on Saxon…

And back in the real world, Saxon finds himself having a bad week as staff lay offs hit. Firing someone who deserves to be fired is not a problem. Choosing which good staff members must be laid off due to lack of work is a big problem and tough on the heart. As such, please excuse my absence from the Cantina for the Last few days and please lay up a large supply of beer for tomorrow afternoon. And please keep Tigga and his poison away from the beer, my head still hurts from his Last attempted assassination.

[Growltigga]

Saxon, that wasn't poison, that was just weak lager and you proving that you are an absolute beer-gherkin by not being able to handle your round

Honestly, you north americans are rubbish when it comes to drinking heavily, any of us europeans (even the Belgians) could drink the lot of you under the table on anything

[Mephisto]

Thanks for the Schiffer picture but I doubt she would like a Kohl/Völler mix... Then again, I don't look this way!

[Growltigga]

Yeah, strange that Mephisto but then La Belle Claudia married an ENGLISHMAN!!!!

nice to know the european blart knows which side its bread is buttered

right, you dont look like Helmut Kohl, you dont look like Rudi Voller, do you look like Jurgen Klinsmann, Oliver Kahn or Gerhart Schroder? [GT is running out of famous living Germans]

dont tell me you look like Heidi Klum?

[ June 13, 2002, 17:01: Message edited by: Growltigga ]