Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread - Page 11

mlmbd · #**101** February 12th, 2003, 03:01 PM

dogscoff, I had not been on to read this before. Chapter 18 is, most enjoyable! I too await for the next addition.

mlmbd

Baron Munchausen · #**102** March 6th, 2003, 04:52 AM

So where's the next installment?

dogscoff · #**103** March 6th, 2003, 12:55 PM

uhhh... in development.

Truth be told, my creative energies have been going more into graphics than words lately, since I recently got myself a graphics tablet and have been doing race portraits for people and infantry pics for the neo-expansion pack.

Also, I've got a really compelling solo Proportions game on the go just now.

Anyway, O&C are always at the back of my mind, and ideas gradually build up into a little pile there. When the pile gets too big, it spills over and I have to start writing to catch all the thoughts.

My pile is fairly full at the moment, so maybe I'll try to get chapter 19 finished this afternoon.

I also have a totally unrelated sci-fi project building up at the back of my mind too, and I have to discipline myself to direct my energies toward O&C and not that. I find it really hard to write just one story at a time=-)

dogscoff · #**104** March 7th, 2003, 01:13 AM

OK, after slaving all day... chapter 19 is up. Just click the banner in my sig.

Feedback please...

primitive · #**105** March 7th, 2003, 01:55 AM

Two thumbs (tentacles) up.

Baron Munchausen · #**106** March 7th, 2003, 03:29 AM

Nice as it is, but incongrous. The story is already a bit fragmented by the leaping between narrators, but this is out of place after the arrival on the Marilyn has already been described, and we were left with the cliff-hanger of an obvious attack. Move this to chapter 16 or something?

[ March 07, 2003, 01:31: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ]

dogscoff · #**107** March 7th, 2003, 10:47 AM

Baron, thanks. I wasn't sure if I should do it like this. I've been (more or less) alternating the narrators for about 8 chapters now, with Cane fraternising on board the Marilyn and Othaglot 3 or 4 weeks behind him on the colony, revealing pertinent infomation about the killer.

From now on (because they are now in the same place, obviously) the story will proceed more or less chronologically, and there won't be any more narrator-swapping for a long time.

I have 2 problems with putting chapter 19 further back: First, i wanted to hold onto the suspense of Chapter 18's cliffhanger for a bit

, and the second is that it would spoil the surprise of the Endeavour's arrival. That's actually quite important, since the fact that Cane and Singh are interrupted by the boarding is significant, and I think if the reader knew what was going on they wouldn't get swept through that chapter in quite the same way.

What does anyone else think of this? If lots of you agree with Baron M, I'll find a way of pushing it back a few chapters.

Quote:

Two thumbs (tentacles) up

[ March 07, 2003, 08:48: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

mlmbd · #**108** March 7th, 2003, 10:25 PM

dogscoff, I agree with the Baron. I love the story, as you know. But it has seemed to be drifting some.

mlmbd

dogscoff · #**109** March 8th, 2003, 12:47 AM

Quote:

dogscoff, I agree with the Baron. I love the story, as you know. But it has seemed to be drifting some.

Drifting how? drifting away from the case you mean? drifting some other way?

mlmbd · #**110** March 8th, 2003, 01:39 PM

doscoff, with the changing narrative, it seems to drift. There is not a straight line or semi-straight line, to follow. Does that make more sense?

mlmbd