Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[NullAshton]

NullAshton sneaks in, hooking up an Infinite Improbability Generator up to the bar's power supply, activated whenever someone opens a door. He then sneaks away again.

[Fyron]

Fyron opens the main Cantina door and walks inside. As the most improbable event, the Infinite Improbability Generator suddenly spontaneously combusts and a new, non-hackneyed plot device emerges.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

"Yes, it's been quite a while since I was last here," the figure spoke in a clear voice, "I believe the last time I peeked in here you were discussing about Beethoven....." Having spoken these words, the figure - now identified by everyone as Strategia, the person who tried to destroy the Cantina on at least three or four separate occasions - walked to the front door at a calm pace.

Having reached the door, he opened it - which was followed by a large BANG as two hundred thousand monkey-shaped party balloons appeared out of nowhere and tried to cram themselves past the tall, still slightly dishevelled-looking man in the doorway. Activating a portable Unprobability Field generator, which disabled the Infinite Improbability Generator for the time being, he reached into his coat and pulled out an old, slightly dented weapon. Lifting his head up, he adressed everybody in the bar in a calm voice - or, as calm as a voice could possibly be, when its owner was simultaneously trying to prevent two hundred thousand simian balloons from passing him.

"Yes..... an old favorite of mine. I remember the days when it saw a lot of action..... Days which, I hope, will soon return....."

With that, he brushed a speck of dust off the plasma launcher's barrel and lifted it up. Quickly, he took a step back and opened fire. The first shot vaporized about fifty thousand of the squealing rubber animals, leaving a large open space which was rapidly filled with twice as many floating monkeys. A Gibbon balloon was trying to squeeze a Chimpanzee balloon back through the doorway, while simultaneously being repeatedly hit by an Orang-Utan balloon. A low hum was rising, quickly filling the entire bar.

A split second later, the second, far more powerful plasma shot caused a blinding flash of red light as it sprang from the barrel. Hitting the Gibbon balloon head-on, it disappeared into its left nostril before exploding. The fortress-buster plasma bullet caused an explosion so profoundly huge, that the Cantina shook, and a car could be heard trying to engage the upper balconies of a nearby flat in polite conversation.

With the monkeys gone, Strategia stepped outside, coat billowing as the last flows of air caused by the explosion died down. A low growl could be heard, and heavy footsteps approached the figure. "Down!" he said in a commanding voice, clearly displaying the plasma launcher. A whimper was clearly heard, and heavy but cautious footsteps indicated Barry was backing away.

"I think it's time I raised another army..... Hmm..... Let's see..... Mutated cheeses haven't been deployed yet, if I'm not mistaken....." could be heard as Strategia was walking to his shuttle.....

[NullAshton]

NullAshton scratches his head in his ship a good distance away from the Bar and Grill, wondering why the Bar and Grill suddenly turned into a floating D&D dungeon.

[Kamog]

Hi, is this place still open for business? It's been kind of quiet... I hope they still have good food and friendly FBW's here. And the occasional violence! Hmm, I wonder if saying certain words still cause a pile of stuff to fall from the sky. Not going to try it yet, though.

[El_Phil]

Well I asked for a Phongsicle tommorow and it's just appeared, so I guess the temporal penguins are still working in the kitchens.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

With Kamog sitting at a table, having a chilled EEEguerita, Phil looking at his Phongsicle inquiringly and the two green slits having retreated further into the darkness, peace has returneth to the Cantina, though the remnants of the last battle can still be seen; the bodies of barley, hops and dust bunnies, as well as calmly chewing cows, litter the floor. Ashton proceeds to the bathroom and promptly slips on a cow-pie (or cow-petit four, regarding the fact that the cows are 6 inches tall), falling bodily into a largish puddle of the stuff. Cursing, he gets up and resumes his journey.

[NullAshton]

Ashton quickly has pay-back. A group of 5 Daleks, recently aquired by NullAshton, enter the Bar and Grill, looking for Strategia. Once he is found, they go towards him menacingly. Strategia tries to shoot them with his plasma cannon, but his bolts dissapate harmlessly off the armor. "Ex-ter-min-ate" was uttered by the Daleks as one of then reaches out with a plunger-like device as Strategia backs up. Muffled screaming can be heard as the Dalek goes towards the bathroom, with even more screaming heard once the men's bathroom door is closed.

[El_Phil]

El Phil looks on at the gently vibrating toilet block

I knew the plumbing in there was bad, but this is ridiculous.

Subtly El Phil checks that his army of furry beasts are ready to drop pod in at a moment notice, if the need arises. Or it seems a funny idea at the time.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Suddenly, the bathroom door blasts open and out comes Strategia, eyes glowing yellow. The daleks are falling over themselves trying to flee.