Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Growltigga]

Growltigga just loves customers like mlmbd.

Taz, as mlmbd is Texan, surely his round must be bigger than anything else we have seen before so therefore pull out those glasses that hold a gallon apiece and serve 'em out.

Taz does so and Growltigga walks over to mlmbd and asks him how he going to settle his new 10,000 mineral tab

Cue red hot poker hand cannon I feel

[Fyron]

Originally posted by mlmbd:
Fyron,

If not Vorlon. What are you?? {mlmbd asks, and then bluts out}

A round for the house, put it on my tab. THANKS

mlmbd

That avatar is for the B5 Mod Game on PBW. Fyron is actually (still) a vampire. I don't know what all these Cantina members have against vampires, realy. I mean, why is the vampire way of life any less valuable than any other way of life? Why can't vampires live unpersecuted and in freedom?

[dogscoff]

Without warning, a gigantic wibbly blue swirly thing appears in the middle of the cantina and a towering Vegetable God steps out. He is 40 feet tall with bean-sprouts growing out of his ears, a death-ray stare and breath that attracts flies.

"You would think," says the Deity, "That dropping a huge pile of onions on a person's head every time they say the word 'onion' would be sufficient deterrent." He scans the Cantina until his eyes rest upon Fyron, who by now is looking rather nervous, "But some people just won't take the hint..."

Fyron runs from the Cantina, his undead powers useless against the wrath of an angered god. The Leafy One gives chase, and an army of heavily armed peppers, corn-cobs, pumpkins etc stream out of the portal to aid in the pursuit.

Everyone rushes to the bar for a fresh drink and some popcorn, then rushes to the window to watch the chase as Fyron zigzags away from the Cantina, hollering and jumping in the air at the vegetable god's death ray bLasts...

[Fyron]

From his vantage point in the shadows, Fyron laughs inwardly as his clone is chased off by the alleged vegetable god (whom is most likely Dogscoff in a poor costume anyways).

[dogscoff]

Clones in the Cantina? I'll let GT deal with that one...

[Growltigga]

CLONES?? CLONES IN THE CANTINA???

Growltigga blesses the forsight of the Tigg-Scoff PLC building and electronics division that erected the new cantina (following the untimely destruction of the previous cantina).

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his master control panel. A little red LED is blinking on the clone detection panel and a little blue LED is blinking in respect of the special satellite mounted "Clone-o-zap death ray".

Growltigga presses the blue LED and suddenly the cantina is bathed in actinic blue fire, a chiaroscuro of refracted light follows and suddenly, all clones has disappeared.

Growltigga turns to Dogscoff and says "I always thought vampires were better dealt with by way of mob waving pitchforks and blazing torches but hey, never let it be said that I stopped a chap having fun. The vampire is yonder, cry haddock and let slip the legumes of war"

[dogscoff]

His clone quarry now vanished, the Vegetable God stomps back into the cantina in an even fouler mood, with his wholesome and crunchy army following close behind. He immediately spots the real Fyron and the chase recommences.

Since everyone has just seen a very similar chase and is losing interest, Dogscoff livens it up a little by playing a frenetic banjo soundtrack and well-timed sound effects sampled from Tom & Jerry cartoons....

[Growltigga]

It would be wackier than that.... I would reccomend that each of you take a few moments (hours morelike) and actually read through all the Posts in Ye Olde Cantina and even Ye New Cantina..

I did this some time ago, it could be a very interesting and amusing book.

Actually, that gives me an idea, can all contributors to the cantina please give me permission to get this published.. I will obviously make sure each of you get a nice meal by way of royalties, but it might just catch on, it would be quite amusing to be sitting on the train or tram next to someone reading the diverse and strange ramblings of Mac, Gryphin, me, El Vomito and the rest of the numbnuts in the cantina....

you could even make guest appearances on Parkinson and the Jerry Springer show

[dogscoff]

GT- be careful using the word "wacky". There's a danger you'll turn into a local radio DJ.

If you want to publish the Cantina, you have my permission. In the meantime, get on over to the encyclopedia malfadorica and start putting in some Cantina lore. There's already a link open for the Cantina (under battlemoon, I think), just waiting to be filled. I also think the FBWs and Barry deserve their own sections...

[Growltigga]

El Vomito, your comments are noted with respect to the word "wacky", how do you feel about use of the word "zany"....

Reaching for my profannisaurus (kept next to my desk so that I can insult other lawyers with choice terms), I am having problems locating an exact phrase I would use, although "Bin Laden's beard, navigating the windward passage, billposter's bucket and lucky pierre (a personal favourite)" are all causing huges amounts of mirth...

How do I make entries in the encyclopedia then?