Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Growltiger]

Well, lots of things to respond to here.

1 Well, it is probably true that the British Royal Family has got a rather mixed bag of genes, but then they have spent so long inter marrying with the other European royal families that it is not surprising, and whatever state they are in now, it is not anywhere near as bad as the inbreeding found in the southern states of the US (and I include Texas in that grouping);

2 Us Brits have the reputation of being the alcoholics of Europe so I can assure you that double shots of tequila (or whisky in our case) is not a problem;

3 I take the point on US micro-breweries. I have supped some fine ales from those in the US recently. I will qualify my general comment by referring to "mass produced American beers";

4 Raging Deadstar - the rules on this forum would not let me comment on the restricted gene pool that is Cumbria, and in particular the amount of sheep DNA prevalent in said gene pool. Most people from Cumbria I know have intimate knowledge of who their grandsires and great grandsires are, and most of them are the same person (or sheep). It is enough to make even a Texan blush; and

5 please do not let Mac near the FBWs. The laundry bill from last time was horrible, and most of the FBw's were scarred for life. The smell didn't leave for months!

PS Why you inbred, blue-blooded, pasty-faced, bucked-tooth, big-eared, hang-dog faced varmint

In response,

"inbred"? absolutely not

"Blue blooded"? again, no royalty here although the option of boffing a princess would not be turned down (provided she was pretty with all her own teeth and with a trust fund)

"pasty faced"? nope, got a tan from Mallorca

"bucked toothed"? nope, I may be fat, ugly and bald but my dental work and hearing and eyesight is tip top

"Big eared"? nope, they are normal (if deaf)

"hang dog faced varmint"? nope, I am a happy soul and not a rodent at all

[Black_Knyght]

Well now, lets see about responding to this....

1) If you knew much about Texas, you'd know it isn't simply a "Southern State", but rather stands in a category all it's own. Texas is tougher, meaner, stronger, and more independent than ANY other state in the union. And as to inbred, no need to chase your cousin around when you can chase down a wildcat or a longhorn...

2) Given the overall "delicate" sensibilities of the European community, England's reputation as the "alocoholics of Europe" is feeble praise at best. I once spent two weeks at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk (you never heard that from me...) and managed to try out a few Brit pubs there. Turned out they were simply social clubs for featherweight tipplers instead of anything like a real knock-down-and drag-out kinda Texas bar on a Saturday night. Most bars in Texas STILL ask you to check your gun in at the door...

3) Micro-Brews are for yuppies and connesieurs, not REAL folks.

4) Now I undestand why Cumbrians draw out their words, like Daaaaaaaaad, or Moaaaaaaaam....

5) You go Mac !!!!

and as for the rest, well - Ah did clar'fy that as bein' associated wit' them thar "royals" ya'll worship over thar....

[Renegade 13]

Growltiger said:
Well, it is probably true that the British Royal Family has got a rather mixed bag of genes...

Well, the point is they don't have a mixed bag of genes...

[mac5732]

I would say, from all the research into various aspects of the human cycle and the continuation of the propagation of our race, I found that almost everyone in the world has mixed bags of genes. The only true blue bloods that were found to inhabit this rolly polly ball of ours, are no longer around or in existance.

[Atrocities]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[Black_Knyght]

[Growltiger]

Atrocities, I like that joke, I really do.

Texans, still think that their place is the biggest and best in the world and their idea of the epitome of culture and style is his 'n' hers possum skin bath mats

"Any how, yessiree - a Texan is part buffalo, part polecat, part cougar, part tornado, part cactus, part horny toad ( heavy on the HORNY part ), and all fire and brimstone."

So basically, you are hideously confused and with all the traits of some rather unpleasant and nasty flora and fauna!
oh and you forgot to mention being part - braggard


"Mess with the thunder of Texas and you'll call down the BOOM"

Assuming that you are not using the dutch word for "tree", I anticipate that this is a reference to Texmex cuisine and its effect on the digestive system. So basically, upset your colon and we are all going to hear a resounding blast of broken wind (or was that already evidenced by the previous highlighted comment?)

In summary, Texans seem to have most of their DNA from "ornery critters" and unpleasant atmospheric effects or flora, are prone to producing large amounts of stomach gas and have a tendency to bluster.

Sounds about right actually

[Ed Kolis]

AT: Reminds me of Star Trek: Nemesis actually...
Troi: Captain, the Romulan Praetor is telepathically raping me!
Picard: Understood, Counsellor. See if you can withstand him a bit longer so you can spy on him.
I mean, WTF??? If I were Troi I would have telepathically assaulted Picard on the spot!

[Atrocities]

Ed Kolis said:
AT: Reminds me of Star Trek: Nemesis actually...
Troi: Captain, the Romulan Praetor is telepathically raping me!
Picard: Understood, Counsellor. See if you can withstand him a bit longer so you can spy on him.
I mean, WTF??? If I were Troi I would have telepathically assaulted Picard on the spot!

ROFLMAO --

Ya, TROI - "See if you can stand it Captain... who's your daddy bioutch? Who's your daddy?"

Wait... isn't something like being mind raped by Troi an every guy fantasy? Nope, this wouldn't work at all for Picard, she would have to tpsycopathically transfer the emotions and mental stress of her mind rape directly into Picards brain in order to have him experience her discomfort. Ya, thats it... make him take it up the aassss by his bald clone. Ewwwwwwww *shudder*

[Black_Knyght]

Atrocities said:

ROFLMAO --

Ya, TROI - "See if you can stand it Captain... who's your daddy bioutch? Who's your daddy?"

Wait... isn't something like being mind raped by Troi an every guy fantasy? Nope, this wouldn't work at all for Picard, she would have to tpsycopathically transfer the emotions and mental stress of her mind rape directly into Picards brain in order to have him experience her discomfort. Ya, thats it... make him take it up the aassss by his bald clone. Ewwwwwwww *shudder*