320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4

[tesco samoa]

ZERO

is the answer...

You cannot do it...

[Trajan]

MORTICIAN:Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right. [clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got **** all over him.

[sparhawk]

Trajan just a upid question, but wasn't there also such a joke done by monthy python?? with john cleese?

sparhawk

[Perrin]

Originally posted by sparhawk:
Trajan just a upid question, but wasn't there also such a joke done by monthy python?? with john cleese?

sparhawk

Yes, the lines from Trajan's post are from Monty Ppython and the Holy Grail.

You may have heard of it. NEE!

Now bring me a shrubbery!

[tesco samoa]

ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We will find a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.

ARTHUR: Of course.

HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.

ARTHUR: Yes.

HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!

[Taz-in-Space]

Groan...

(Now where did I put that HOLY HANDGRENADE OF ANTIOCH!)

[sparhawk]

ARTHUR: WHO are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the knights that say NI
ARTHUR: OH NO, not the knight that say NI
HEAD KNIGHT: Thesame.

LOL

[mottlee]

(Bump)

[Perrin]

Tim the Enchanter: Look at the Bones!

[TerranC]

... and this topic goes into the gutters.

Ni!