Atrocities, I hear you when you speak about being under suspicion.
Nobody likes it and it certainly is an uncomfortable feeling, no matter how innocent the person may be.
Yet, how is a player to phrase it (if it can be phrased) so as to have the host look into a situation where there may be a "contravention of the rules".
Saying nothing allows the cheat and the player who innocently makes the mistake to get away with it.
IMO, the player who asked for the inquiry was quite proper to do so. Not doing so risks the cheat or the innocent player to have an unfair advantage.
As I see it, part of the problem derives from the stigma from being unjustly accused. In real life, being investigated and/or charged with a crime follows the person throughout his life even if the charges were dropped or not even filed.
But we are not in real life and this is just a game. You have a fine reputation and I for one would not think the suspicion diminishes your reputation in any way when you are cleared of it. If anything, it reaffirms my belief/feeling that you are a honest player who wants to abide by the rules.
The above being said, there is a problem where a player cannot be cleared of the suspicion of "contravening the rules" such as playing 2 or more empires in a game. In the example just given, seldom can we prove whether a player is cheating or not. Such things like IP addresses, etc are useful, but do not conclusively prove innocence or guilt. They are circumstantial evidence which are equally consistant with innocence or guilt although the probability leans more heavily to one side.
But probability is not proof of guilt and the innocent player who is exposed to such a situation would be under a very dark cloud indeed.