Fyron for Governor!

[Ed Kolis]

NBC NEWS
SACRAMENTO, CA
Today, yet another hopeful has thrown his hat into the ring, as a local college student who is known only as "Imperator Fyron" announced his candidacy for state governor. We now bring you live to the scene, as Mr. Fyron makes his address:

Fyron: "...and thus I pledge to bring orderly rule to the great state of California!"
Crowd: CHEER!!!
Reporter: Mr. Fyron, may we have a few words with you, now that you have announced your candidacy for governor?
Fyron: Certainly, ask away.
Reporter: Well, first, may I ask why you have decided to enter the gubernatorial race?
Fyron: I think that California needs someone who can lead the state with a firm but fair hand - just ask anyone in any PBW games I've run.
Reporter: PBW games?
Fyron: http://seiv.pbw.cc, check it out, it's a lot of fun.
Reporter: Uh, right. Now there are a lot of "big-name" candidates in this race - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gary Coleman, and all the rest. Is going up against them an intimidating experience?
Fyron: Actually, I'm not too worried about them; the person I'm most worried about is Aaron Hall - he just declared his candidacy Last Tuesday, and already he's swayed three million voters by promising the entire state a free copy of Starfury once he's elected. And somehow I can't shake the feeling that I somehow owe this guy something, that I wouldn't be where I am today were it not for him...
Reporter: All right... speaking of where you are today, why WOULD you want to run for governor of California, given your current status?
Fyron: (chuckle) Oh yes, the "Ruler of the World" thing... trust me, it's not as great as it's cracked up to be; California's a much nicer place... and bigger, too!
Reporter: haha, yes, that may very well be so... one final question, some fringe Groups have this theory that you are really an extraterrestrial; would you care to comment on that?
Fyron: An extraterrestrial? Now why would anyone believe that? Why, do I LOOK like a twelve foot tall arthropodic creature from the planet Antares Prime, who just happens to be using Darlok cloaking technology to blend in with the -- oh, xnarf...

(At that moment, some witnesses claim to have seen Imperator Fyron blink out of existence, to be briefly replaced by a tall, brown, skeletal figure, which then disappeared in a puff of smoke.)

edit: whoops, I said who I was voting for

[ August 24, 2003, 23:36: Message edited by: Ed Kolis ]

[General Woundwort]

My apologies to both Fyron and Aaron, but my vote would go to Gallagher.

"First you get out an ordinary apple. Then place the ordinary apple between the Patented Pans. Then what do you do gang? It's simple - you reach for The Tool. It is not a slicer, it is not a dicer, it is not a chopper-and-a-hopper. What in the hell could it possibly be?..."

"It is - Sledge-o-Matic!"

SPLAT!!!!

EDIT - And I make 1st Lieutenant too - how apropo...

[ August 25, 2003, 01:01: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Fyron]

[Kamog]

I didn't know that Pikachu was running for governor!
I choose Schwarzenegger.

[Ed Kolis]

Or would that be...
SchwarzenEXEGGUTOR!!!

(Yes, there really is a Pokemon called Exeggutor... it looks like a miniature palm tree only the coconuts are replaced with eggs with mean faces, and its attack is to throw exploding eggs. Don't ask me how I know all this )

[Alpha Kodiak]

Originally posted by Ed Kolis:
Or would that be...
SchwarzenEXEGGUTOR!!!

(Yes, there really is a Pokemon called Exeggutor... it looks like a miniature palm tree only the coconuts are replaced with eggs with mean faces, and its attack is to throw exploding eggs. Don't ask me how I know all this )

I know of a certain Skarmory bred with drill peck that eats Exeggutors for lunch (literally).