Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Growltigger]

Primitive turns round at the sound of a hunting horn being blown for all its worth, the cantina kitchen doors burst open and there is an armour plated Barry the T-Rex, mounted by Growltigga, backed by the fierce thematic armies of Byzantine killer mongooses, a possee of FBW's, 12 Eminem clones holding chain saws, a passel of Hollywood B List celebrities, Lisa Kudrow, all band members from Madness, Earth Wind & Fire and The Goombay Dance Band and 60 fierce pen wielding lunatic auditors.......

Primitive, you have a 20 second head start, we suggest you run

Oh yeah, and when you click on David Gervais' link, then click on the Love Kylie link for a wonderful picture of what she looked like coming into my bedroom Last weekend (yes, I had been drinking)

[ January 30, 2003, 12:05: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[mottlee]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
*Dogscoff joins the chase at 'Tigga's side, his contribution to the pack consisting of 1500 shrimp micro-ninja and four knife-wielding teletubbies, the latter having been locked in a small room for months on end, tortured and subjected to endless slasher movies until they are all mindless, homicidal animals.

*Dipsy, barely constrained by his gimp suit and Dogscoff's cattle prod, snarls and slavers viciously in Primitive's direction.

mottlee puts foot out as they round to corner of the bar! (hehehe)

[primitive]

So the dog and the cat together. Strange place this cantina.

primitive decides to call his own friends.
Oh wait, he doesn’t have any (probably that milk-money thingy).

Luckily he had chosen the lucky race trait before entering the cantina, and the mighty (but very badly designed) army of the carnivores start to disintegrate.

- Barry finds pieces of Puke on the floor and starts to nibble on that.
- The killer mongoose gets into a fight with 1500 shrimp micro-ninja.
- Seeing primitives masculine body, the FBW's loses all thoughts of violence and offer themselves up for fornication instead.
- The Eminem clones holding chain saws turn on their most hated adversaries, themselves/each other.
- The Hollywood B List celebrities see a blinking light bulb, and lines up hoping to get their picture taken.
- As always, Lisa Kudrow doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on.
- The 60 fierce pen wielding lunatic auditors, starts bothering all the other patrons in the cantina.
- The band members from Madness, Earth Wind & Fire and The Goombay Dance Band starts recording a new song: Our House is a Boogie Wonderland under the Sun Of Jamaica.
- That leaves only four knife-wielding teletubbies facing primitive.

Primitive picks up his small incinerator beam VI and shoot at the tubbies. They pop like popcorn, leaving more tasty titbits for Barry to eat.

[Growltigger]

But Primitive completely forgets Growltigga and Dogscoff who dive on the hapless Norwegian and proceed to give him a bloody good kicking.

Afterwards, and after taking an arm and a leg each, GT and El Scoffo carry the prone Scandinavian to the cantina doors, out into the carpark and then finally throw him into the cesspit.

Gryphin, Kylie is mine and dont you forget it. She does not like facial hair on men

[dogscoff]

Afterwards, and after taking an arm and a leg each, GT and El Scoffo carry the prone Scandinavian to the cantina doors, out into the carpark and then finally throw him into the cesspit.

Having thrown out (most of) primitive, Dogscoff debates whether to have his arm and leg mounted as trophies or whether to pass them onto the kitchen staff. The he has an even better idea and has them surgically grafted onto his own body. With three legs he can now kick 2 people in the arse at once without falling over, while simultaeously drinking, fondling an FBW and scratching his balls. Perfect.

[Growltigger]

"Ha ha" yells GT, "that'll show Primitive for being derisory about Barry and the killer mongoose horde, that'll also learn him for having bad Eurovision song contest entries too"

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff is busy inventing a new form of three handed juggling, involving 6 balls and an fbw with no bra.

[primitive]

Hobbling back into the Cantina, primitive is truly disappointed. The stupendously legendary GT and the almost as legendary Dogscoff obviously wouldn’t waste their best shots on a mere newbie.

Well, there is always next time.

Primitive offers Growltigga and Dogscoff a drink on his Tab.

Dogscoff: You can keep the arm and the leg. The leg is very clumsy and suffers from very bad case of athlete’s foot (feet) . And to be honest, the arm is a wanker and you will have problems just scratching your balls with it.

[dogscoff]

Hobbling back into the Cantina, primitive is truly disappointed. The stupendously legendary GT and the almost as legendary Dogscoff obviously wouldn’t waste their best shots on a mere newbie.

Newbie or not, you were a worthy opponent.

*D gratefully accepts a drink from Primitive.

[primitive]

Enjoy the drink dogscoff.
Sorry I killed your four knife-wielding teletubbies. I send over some new ones for you to train.

By the way. How can tell when your teletubbies become mindless ?