Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Ragnarok]

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

This is partially true I believe. Just in a different sense. All bodily functions do not stop as Kamog said, but all organs do stop IIRC. Sneezing is the closest you'll come to dying in your life without actually dying.

[Ed Kolis]

Graffiti found on ancient Aztec temple:

"Teosinte is good for your teeth! Say no to genetically modified corn!"

[Wardad]

BUTTERCUPS

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow manages to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appears.
She says, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!" THEN, POOF.... she is gone.

After Dave gets hold of himself, he hollers for his friend, Fred. "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

Dave yells back, "DON'T SWING, FRED! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!"

[Wardad]

While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.















What direction is your foot going now?

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Wardad:
While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?

Damnit! That's wierd. No matter how many times I try and how much I concentrate I can't keep my foot moving clockwise. The best I can do is sort of a screwed up figure 8 pattern. I am telling my foot what to do and it is doing something different. Freaky!

[TerranC]

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

True.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

False. That's saying that he wasn't born with an umbilical cord.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

True.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

True.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!

False.

6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.

I thought it was 1 in every 5 people in the US.

7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

True.

8. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

False.

9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

True, but only in the western world.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

False.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

False.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

True.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

True.

14... The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

True.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

Probably true.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

True.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

False.

18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

False. Lots of animals can see behind ifself without turning it's head, such as Owls and Eagles.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

True.

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

I'll say true.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Although lots of food shown on TV and Food magazines aren't food, there is no need to simulate milk. False.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

True.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

False.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

False.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

False! The black colour of Coke is because of the syrup in it.

[ August 15, 2003, 17:35: Message edited by: TerranC ]

[Hunkpapa]

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

False. They'll probably sell them for their stem cells.

The placenta is also sold to cosmetic companies for make-up and moisturizer. Something they do not like to advertise.

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by TerranC:
[qb]2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

False. That's saying that he wasn't born with an umbilical cord.

The statement doesn't specify at what time in his life he didn't have a bellybutton; sometimes an injury (especially war injuries) will require skin to be removed from that area, which sometimes includes the belly button. It is possible that during and after his career as a director, he did not.

[sheridangreen]

What's the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Wardad:
While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

What direction is your foot going now?

OK, at first I couldn't do it. I start making clockwise circles with my foot, and the moment I start drawing the number 6 with my hand, my foot starts circling in the other direction. I tried and tried, and after several minutes, I was able to do it, and now I can do it every time.

What you do is: first, just keep making clockwise circles with your right foot, and do this for about 20-30 seconds until you get used to it and no longer have to think about it. Then, quickly draw a 6 in the air with your right hand. Once you can draw the 6 quickly in the air, you can do it more slowly and still be OK.

Then, I thought of an even better idea. Instead of drawing the 6 normally, from the top down and making the small circle in the counterclockwise direction, draw the 6 in the opposite direction from usual. Make the small circle of the 6 first, in a clockwise direction, and then extend the curve up to complete the 6. Then it's easy to keep the foot circling in the clockwise direction.