Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
GT is slightly put off when the cumbrian farmers charge toward the fray. Thinking quickly, he turns to them and says "Lads, what are you doing here? there is a barn dance going on in Carlisle and all your female cousins are there, and they are all about 14 years old". Where once was a crowd of angry Cumbrian farmers, now all that can be seen is a puff of dust and a streak of something moving rapidly up the M6.

Y'know, i wish i could deny that comment, but the more i look around this city the more i agree Although i always seen the farmers as more sheep people

"Gods own earth? are you sure, England is known for football hooligans, kebabs and Essex Girls.... God really does have a funny sense of humour... And Canterbury.... oooh boy we have a Southerner Here"

*RD Whilst being choked, throtled and mangled manages a smile.*

"Does Mrs GT know about the huge expenses you pay for this army"

*RD then quickly grabs GT's Red Hot Poker Cannon and fires it straight through GT's foot. Growltigger tries to remain composed, tears welling and bottom lip bitten. RD scrambles away and then grabs his broadsword lying amongst the carnage.*

"Come on Ye Olde Southerner. Any Closer to France and you would have been born with a beret! I spit upon your pathetic, and rather expensive, attempts to defeat us!"

EDIT: Glad to know I can enjoy my promotion to captain before i'm dismantled, dismembered, decombobulated and anything else.

[ April 27, 2004, 14:06: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

"Ouch ouch ouch ouch, RD" says GT hopping on one foot, " I have one thing to say to you, you evil north western black pudding scoffing ferret felcher, and that BAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH".

Hey guys, do you know that Raging Deadstar has 15 girlfriends? they are all called Flossy!!

Yep, I am from Canterbury, the deep south of England, I suppose like the equivalent of Alabama but without the rednecks, stupid accents and Americans...

And as for England, it is god's own earth

football hooligans? what are we doing now in the cantina (PS Chelsea to win 2 nil on the return leg and beat Monaco on the away goal rule PPS Slae Sharks to make Europe after getting through on thr wildcard),

kebabs? never touch them, I like my food not to look like a girl's private parts

Essex girls - fine with me, dont knock 'em until you try them, or at least, knock them when you try them..

And yes, Mrs GT knows about the expenses. AS long as she gets the opportunity to terrorise the kingdom of the danes, and shop of course, she is fine

Monsieur Le Furibond Etoile Du Mort, you 'av met your Waterloo you stupid Cumbrian Knigggut,

GT pulls out his most fearsome weapon, the flaming serrated armoured plated eggwhisk of doom....(you know, one of those with two whirly things and a handle you resolve, except this one is evil and on fire)

RD's broadsword is rapidly chopped into bits, and ask the eggwhisk of doom delves in, organs, blood, boldily parts, hair, clothing and other mucky bits of RD (including that purply wobbly bit by the spleen) are sprayed all round the cantina......

RD is no more, he is shredded and gazing round, GT sees that the Byzantine mongoose horde has annihilated it opposition. The cantina is his.

Now for some peace and quiet, taking RD's still steaming head, GT drops his kecks and sits down upon it, opening his copy of the financial times, and settling down for a nice quiet crap.

Ahhhhhh, peace, at Last.

[ April 27, 2004, 14:25: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*The silence is absoloute as GT Claims the Cantina for his own and surveys the damage.*

*Well it would be if it weren't for the manical laughter of a disembodied presence.*

"Tut Tut Tut GT. It would seem victory was yours, but you have not seen the Last of myself. Not until the end times of the forum when the one known as Ragnarok will bring the end of the cantina and your glorious reign."

And with that the presence dissipated...

*Hundreds of Light Years away deep in Deadstar Space a body suddenly wakes up and looks around, clutching it's chest as the onlookers watch..*

"Lord Deadstar?"
"That Guy is One SICK Eggwhisk wielding Southerner!!!"

[Growltigger]

Growltigga sits comfortably on the dismembered head of RD, at peace with the world, and feeling mightily releived. Damn, there is nothing like a good brawl to make one need a heavy dump. Growltigga finishes reading the financial times, and is pleased to review the brief obituary of Raging Deadstar in it.

He tears off the page, and uses this to wipe his fur down.

Fine, that daft Cumbrian sheep molester can come back anytime he wants. The eggwhisk of doom is ready and waiting for his next feeble attempt to usurp the cantina from its lawful owner.

Now to get this place cleaned up, recruit some FBW's, reinstall the pygmies in the loo and Barry in the carpark (awww look at him picking over the carnage, ain't he sweat), and find Taz again to run the bar

Note to self, ban Ragnarok from cantina, or alternatively, or just kill him when he comes in

[ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*A message pops up on Mac's laptop*

From: Raging Deadstar
To: Forum Chat Bar & Grill

My Plan worked, we fought bravely, you have returned from lurking and i have just bought 40% stock in the cantina because shareholders dislike Collateral Damage and Revoloutions!

*A Seccond Message pops up*

General Woundwort is charged with storing and selling American drinks upon your premises and with your liscence. The FB-NAD (Federal Bureau of Non American Drinks) is on it's way to issue fines and arrests.

[ April 27, 2004, 15:05: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

Errr RD, you have bought shares in thr wrong cantina.

The shares in the REAL cantina are owned by Tigg-Scoff PLC, which in turn is jointly owned by those cowboys of the spaceways, Dogscoff and Growltigga.

R U Sure that you havn't mistakenly bought shares in Manchester United....

and PS if you had bought 40% of the shares in the real cantina, rule 7 of Blue book would mean you have to mandatorily make a offer on no less favourable terms for the rest of the shares. I would check your substantial acquisition rules if I were you..

blow, I have reverted into lawyer speak

[Raging Deadstar]

1. Since when has Tigg-Scoff PLC went by the book?

2. This isn't the real cantina. This is the "Forum Chat Bar and Grill" Not the Phong's head

[Growltigger]

We have gone by the book at any time when there is the remotest chance that we would have been caught by the regulatory authorities, the enforcement agencies, or in extreme cases, any offended deity

Bugger, you are right, I have wrecked the wrong cantina. Oh well, at least I dont have to run the place and repair the damage, and I have so wanted to see what that hellfire blitzkrieg cannon would do to structures.

Do you know, a battle royale in the cantina is just not the same without Ragnarok to abuse, and Dogscoff to join in the fray!

[Raging Deadstar]

I must agree, Ragnarok was always the best "whipping boy" of the cantina. And There was no Gaint Mutated sea monsters with celtic names

Although i guess thats why is signed those shares in Ragnaroks name, so the cannon is a great idea...

[Growltigger]

Done, do we evacuate the cantina first? keeping in mind Mac and Power Man are comatose here, or do we just fire the gun off and see what happens?

after all, when you are talking bodycount, the higher the better!!