Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar smiles to himself as he takes little puppy dogscoff to his ship, on the way there he has a better idea and heads for the onboard medical bay. He grabs the conscience resonater and plugs in a clone of dogscoffs body and begins the quick process of putting dogscoff's mind back into a new, genetically strengthened lean body. He hands dogscoff his ceremonial robes and leads him to a changing room. One must look his best for his ressurection and revenge.*

*Raging Deadstar looks at the motionless and now unoccupied body of the little puppy, he feels sorry and then decides starts to import a nice puppy personality to the animal (making sure it's house trained so it doesn't put it's scent on the master computer and won't tear out the combat sensors in battle). Once finished the cute little springer spaniel now renamed maliki is bathed and prepared as a present for RD's loved one...*

Yeah i have a heart for these things, now that dogscoff is ready for his ressurection let the revenge and cleansing begin!

[ZeroAdunn]

*ZeroAdunn looks around confused, drinks some more...
nope, still not drunk enough...

*drinks some more

[Power Man]

Wow dogscoff, you went from a Beastie Boys fan to being a "beastie" yourself and back in only four Posts!
Who could have determined that outcome ??
I hope things go better for you this time around.

Raging Deadstar, what is with all this talk of revenge and cleansing?
I hope you have not forgot it was You who set the fat bastard clone from Austin powers on dogscoff?
You may be getting set up for what we Wargammers used to call "The knife in the back."
It may be time for you to stop "cloning around."

As far as cleansing, I did have my new Power Suit sanitized and sealed for my (and your) protection.

Not sure what to expect next, Power Man orders Spork to put the ship on condition Oni- err Orange.

Less than 5 pages till 200. Will we make it ?? Stay "tooned" .

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Power Man:
Less than 5 pages till 200. Will we make it ?? Stay "tooned" .

You cursed the cantina!!!!!

This is the first time that the cantina has been abandoned and let slip to the second page of the intel forums... I mean 3 days without Posts!!! I think we have really let ourselves slip here

As for revenge and cleansing? I do anything to start a good war with ragnarok, i think he won the Last one because i ran out of good comedy ideas to attack him with. Ragnarok, you feel up to another 12 round bout of pure cartoon violence? The offer is on the table, next to the tribble wings and slightly south of the brewski

[ April 06, 2003, 17:29: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
As for revenge and cleansing? I do anything to start a good war with ragnarok, i think he won the Last one because i ran out of good comedy ideas to attack him with. Ragnarok, you feel up to another 12 round bout of pure cartoon violence? The offer is on the table, next to the tribble wings and slightly south of the brewski

Wow, I didn't realize that the Cantina had slipped so far down. Time to bring it back and make up for the days it lost.

And as for your offer. I was meaning to retaliate a bit from your Last little bit with Dogscoff but I haven't been having those creative juices flowing very much so it was hard for me to think of a way to attack you. They are slowly coming back though, and I'm sure by the end of the future skermish that I will have them back 100%. Just writing this they are coming back more rapidly.
Well, on that note...Let it begin...

*Rags taks off his black leather glove, and turns around so his back is facing RD, Rags then loads into the glove a nice heavy brick with spiked edges for more pain. Rags turns around once again to face RD and takes a nice hard swing of the glove and yells, "I challenge you to a dual!" The glove then his RDs jaw with a great thud and RD falls to his knees in pain.
"Oh no, don't bow before me RD, the battle has only begun, I'm sure you'll have your chance to get me back!" Rags then begins to walk away and he notices that the inpact of the brick filled glove tore his glove up a bit, so not looking Rags tosses it over his back and it just so happens to hit RD on the head, making RDs face going straight into the ground.
Rags hears the sound of face against the concrete slab that the tent cantina is bases on and he turns around and says, "Did I do that?"

And so it begins...

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar groggily gets up and staggers round a bit. With large indents into his face and his skull pretty much flattened he wobbles over ragnarok and begins his revenge. Firstly he puts his hand to the back of his ear and pushes a mechanical item installed into his head. He closes his eyes and Raging Deadstars body begins to glow as the ghost of RD releases control of the clone body. The body now acting on autopilot just stands there and Raging Deadstar posesses ragnarok. The now posessed ragnarok walks into the inner sanctum and a lot of noise can be heard coming from inside. Suddenly ragnarok burst out, a disco ball is lowered from the roof and the tents portable disco lights kick in. Ragnarok dressed in a traditional 80's spandex catsuit encrusted with sequins, fake jewels and christmas lights begins to clear a small space in the middle of the cantina. He points at powerman, powerman activates the onbaord stereo in his mechanical suit and the disco lights blaze on. The sound of staurday night fever drifts over the cantina, bringing back terrible memories to those who were alive round these decades that style forgot. The Possessed ragnarok begins doing the traditional dance, poiting his arm skywards then groundwards making a total *** of himself. He then grabs a microphone and releases a terrible kareoke Version. Lastly for entertainment purposes Raging Deadstar makes ragnarok make an announcement to the already stunned members of the cantina*

Raganrok:"I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, I want one of these very beautiful fbw's to....wax my chest!!!"

*The possessed ragnarok pulls down the zip on his catsuit and his slightly hairy chest appears, an fbw smiles knowingly and gathers her equipment. Minutes later with the waz applied and everyone gathered round the fbw applies the tape. Raging Deadstar then leaves ragnaroks body and ragnarok comes through, just as the Fluffy Bunny Waitress pulls the tape...*

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! !!!!

*Ragnarok once he has stopped crying marches over to raging deadstars body and demands to know what he was thinking. He is fuming and everyone smirks at the large red hairless strip of flesh upon his chest. He smacks RD's body in the face and the bodies arm shoots out and grabs ragnaroks throat*

Self Destruct Sequence has been Activated, 5, 4...

*Ragnarok squirms as he tries to escape before...KAABBBBOOOOMMMM! A very singed looking ragnarok is left looking extremely bemused and contemplating his revenge. Raging Deadstar floats back to his ship and posesses a spare clone of his body. He reemerges into the cantina, buys an apple juice and awaits ragnaroks next move!*

[ April 06, 2003, 18:19: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

I first want to say, nice move RD.

Ragnarok still pure black from the explosion is still standing there with what is left of RDs clones arm holding his neck. Rags coughs and a puff of black smoke protrudes from his mouth; the arm that was holding his neck simply disintegrates into nothingness. Rags thinks to himself, "One good thing about that blowing up, it gets rid of that horrible 80s outfit I was in." Rags still in pain from the waxing he recieved and also the destructive boom, walks over to the portable dermal regenerating device that is set up for just such emergencies. Rags gulps back a brewski as he ponders what he is going to do tonight. "I know!" exclaims Ragnarok, "I'm going to take over the world!" All eyes turn to Ragnarok who has his arm mightily in the air from his exclimation and all goes silent. Rags slowly brings down his arm in embarrassment and softly says, "Ok, bad idea. Something else... Got to think of something else..."

A lightbulb lights up above Rags head and flickers to its fullest brightness. Once again all eyes turn towards Ragnarok with his beaming light and someone in the back yells "Shut that light off! Bars are supposed to be dark!" Rags then hears what sounds like a gun being prepared to shoot. A bang is heard and the light is shot out. Rags shakes off the pieces of glass as he begins to set his plan in motion. He meets with the loo worshipers and all beings in the inner sanctum. All that he spoke to simply nod in agreement of the plan.

Rags then walks back out to the tent cantina area and walks up to RD. "Phone call for you. Take it in the back, line 3." says Rags. RD says thanks and he proceeds to the back room to take the phone call. An evil smile embraces Rags face as he couldn't imagine his plan working better. "RD left his drink. You know, this could be bad when you're fighting someone with cartoon violence." rags thinks to himself.
Rags pulls out of his pocket a bottle of some kind of liquid substance in which the name of it is Exlax, he then reads the label. "One teaspoon for fast, effective relief." Rags then puts one teaspoon of this Exlax into RDs apple juice, he then pauses for a second, then he pours the whole bottle in. Trying not to burst out in laughter while stirring the drink up a bit Rags puts the cap back onto the bottle and throws it in the trash. RD comes back and takes his seat once more. "Thanks for informing me of the phone call Rags." states RD.
Rags grabs his brewski and says, "You know, you had a great come back with the whole 80s deal and so forth, why don't we drink to that." RD nods and takes a big gulp of his drink. 5 minutes later RD begins to hear a rumbling from his stomach. He heads straight for the inner sanctum where the loo worshipers and company are waiting for him. RD takes his seat and he comes to realize that he cannot get up. Someone put glue on the seat and plus he's being help down from underneath. He begins yelling for help as the loo worshipers come out and begin to attack him and make him pay for what he did to Ragnarok.

[Raging Deadstar]

I have to say ragnarok that was a good move, ahh tou'che

*Raging Deadstar is saved by a passing ironmonger who welds the toilet from RD's behind. "Should i resort to toilet humour???" Thinks RD, But he decides against it, he has a much more fiendish plan. He goes back to his ship and enters his cryogenic vault and takes out a little box and returns to the cantina. He walks over to ragnarok and presents him the box.*

"Whats this?"
"Open it, it's a present, a very EXPENSIVE present!"

*Ragnarok doesn't open it and walks to the inner sanctum, he closes the door and instantly opens it, wondering how valuable it is and how much he can sell it for. Inside is nothing and A little grey hair floats out and lands in his hair. Ragnarok seeing this thinks it's rd's way of a joke and freshens himself up and leaves the toilets. Whilst this is happening the hair has firmly implanted itself into his head and is communicating with every hair on ragnaroks body. -=The scene changes and the grey hair is carrying a cane and is in full military uniform=-*

"Chest hair, Split Ends, lend me your Folicals! You Know it makes sense to join me, it will happen eventually anyway. Surrender your color to me. The crotch is nearly ours!!"

*Every black hair on ragnaroks body turns grey and by the time he has left the inner sanctum he looks as old as Mac. The laws of cartoon violence kick in and his muscles become weak, he becomes hunchbacked and his eyesight and hearing fails! Now ragnarok is fully pledged member of the age concern group and staggers over to his table and orders prune juice. A light bulb appears over ragnaroks head and Raging Deadstar solves this, grabbing the lightbulb and shoves it up ragnaroks backside, becoming the worlds first illuminating enema. Raging Deadstar laughs to himself as the now decripped and ancient rags struggles to stop a typical sign of old age, diaroeha. The lightbulb is soon ejected and followed by a torrent of sticky brown liquid.*

I await your revenge Rags!

[Ragnarok]

ROFLOL! Oh man this is the best cartoon violence ever bestowed upon me.
---

Ragnarok now an old man sitting at his table is slowly but surely drinking away at his drink. He is also cleaning up the mess that was caused from the evil RD and his little plan.

*2 hours later*

Rags finally finishes his drink and has the mess cleaned up, he grabs his cane and stands up. He slowly walks over to RD who is just laughing his gee golly little head off at what he has done to Ragnarok.
With his old voice and false teeth Rags begins to speak. "I'll...get...you...son..ny...don't..you..for...get ...that.."with the Last bit of breath he as he states, "I may be a huncthed over old man, but I'm still taller/bigger then you!"
RD -"Yeah sure old man! I'm sure you will! You'll be lucky to be able to even walk pretty soon." *Evil laugh*

Gasping for breath Rags shakes his head and walks away. He is still slowly aging faster then normal and at the current rate he will be dead within 2 hours. With that in mind Rags begins to devise yet another plan. "With age, comes great wisdom, with great wisdom, comes great revenge." mutters Ragnarok under his breath.

Ragnarok slowly but surely makes his way back to his ship to find his fountian of youth machine, only to discover that the evil RD has taken it preventing him from becoming young once more. Rags thinks for a moment and he knows what to do. He makes his way to the bridge of his dreadnaught and pounds in a few buttons and flips a few switches. Pretty soon a machine materializes in front of him. He reads the plaque that is welded onto the front of the machine and it reads: "The one and only cloning machine of RD, Inc." Rags nods in approval. He puts in his DNA sample of when he was in the prime of his life, approximately 4 hours ago. He makes a couple modifications to the program however as he makes it so that his main brain will be in the new body, and yet he will still have control of both bodies in the room. He hits the big green button on the panel to start the cloning process. A few minutes later a young and handsome as ever Ragnarok dressed in full black clothes, including black trench coat, steps off the cloning platform.
"Ahh yes, this is more like it." says Rags as he stretches and cracks his neck and fingers and back. He begins thinking again and realizes he doesn't need a old self, just the wisdom of his old self. So he downloads all the wisdom from ihs old body and proceeds to "recycle" his self.

Ragnarok makes a few more modifications to RDs cloning device and he beams it back to his ship. One of the new features is this nice flashing red light. Which obviously cannot be good. As Rags makes his way back into the tent cantina a huge boom is heard and everything shakes. Rags just smiles as he continues to walk. RD runs out into the parking lot only to find his ship and beloved cloning machine blown to kingdom come. RD makes his way over to Rags once again and says, "What did you do?!"
Rags - "Isn't it obvious what I did? I made your ship go boom!"
RD - "Grrrrrrrrrrr! I hate you!"
Rags - "I know you do. Oh and btw, thanks for the use of your now destroyed cloning device. It came in handy. I got my old body back, a bit better then before and plus I made myself a few new creatures to fight with in the future. Don't worry though, I transferred some (5) credits to your account to pay for it all."
RD then storms off fuming mad whilst Ragnarok is gleefully smiling away.

Sometimes you don't need to hurt the person directly. Just one of their most prized possesions.

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar looks on in disbelief as his portable cloning lab goes kaboom, taking with it some rare artifects and genetically modified flesh eating miniscule ants!! Raging Deadstar turns to Ragnarok*

"There are words for people like you!! None of which polite enough to be said in front of young ears!!"

*Ragnarok laughs and RD starts calling another cloning ship, should take a couple of days to arrive. He thinks what ragnarok said. "Sometimes you don't need to hurt the person directly. Just one of their most prized possesions." RD wonders to himself, what npossibly could be Ragnaroks weakness? Mac's is liz hurley clones, primitive is his pointy (but rusty) spear, but ragnarok? Raging Deadstar smiles evily as he whispers in to an Fbw's ear and the FBW nods in agreement.*

-=Minutes Later=-

*A leather clad gothic looking FBW approaches Ragnarok and tells him he has a present awaiting him. Ragnarok almost blinded by the young womens attractiveness follows her outside to the edge of the crater, which the temporary cantina resides, there lies the lush green paradise that the area the cantina was, used to lie in. The Fbw leads him to a table and lies him down on top of it, Handcuffing his legs and arms so they are wide apart. Ragnarok, always up for some domination hasn't clicked onto the fact this could be an evil plan by RD, and relaxes. He doesn't notice the large Deadstar Continuum Anathema Class Battleship appear throuhg a warp point in the same sector as the cantina. The young Capatain Leyasu locks on the sensors and a burst of bright lights are fired from the ship. All but one of these target Ragnaroks 'Naughtica dreadnought and rip through it, leaving a destroyed burning wreck in the ex parking lot. Ragnarok tries to get up as he watches the large clouds of smoke billow from the cantina. He notices the Last bright light heading straight from him and wonders "RD never learnt his lesson Last time, he can hurt me but he can't hurt my prized possesion!" The small light is soon burning through the stratosphere of the planet and he notices what it is. A tiny Quantum Torpedo, he laughs to himself, it was barely the size of his hand from the looks of it! Ragnarok puts on a brave face and awaits the explosion. Suddenly the tiny torpedo hits raganroks crotch. Ragnaroks screams shatter windows and make animals brains explode all over the planet. The torpedo explodes and dissolves Ragnaroks "Prized Possession". Leaving Ragnarok with a dissolved mid section and tied up with a voice capable of bursting ear drums!*

Round 3 has begun! DING DING