Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Ragnarok]

Dang... I left the door too wide open on that one. Hopefully I won't let it happen again.
--

Ragnarok is still tied down to the table whilst screaming in pain due to his happy sacks being totally destroyed. Never did he think that he could speak in a higher pitched voice then Richard Simmons. Everytime Rags trys to speak he ends up breaking some kind of glass within a 5 mile radius. No doubt he is going to have alot of peoples windshield bills to pay.

Rags manages to call his army of Pink Winged Potato Pixies in order to untie him and carry him back to his backup ship; don't leave home without a back up ship, cause look at what happened to my beautiful 'Nautica calss Dreadnaught. Rags manages to heal the wounds. Well, all but the most severe wound. Rags is finally able to walk on his own but he looks like a first time horse back rider and that he rode for about 20 straight hours. Rags mumbles to himself, "Dang RD, he is obsessed with dressing me in 80s spandex and destroying my happy sacks. Quite scary really." Rags pilots his ship to a doctor he knows in a secret sector of space that is a specialist in the happy sacks department.
Rags - "Can you help me doc?"
Doc - "Sure can. I can have you fixed and ready to go get them girls in no time."
Rags - "Great!"
The doctor then proceeds to fix Rags happy sacks problem to the best of his ability. After everything is complete Rags pays his bill and is carried to his ship since he cannot walk right now. His secondary ship warps into the sector of space the cantina is in and he lands his ship.

Rags has the Pixies carry him over to Barry who is standing guard over the Cantina and its patrons. Rags whispers something into Barrys ear and Barry's face lights up in pure anger. Rags says, "Keep that in mind Barry. Keep that in mind." The pixies then take Rags into the Cantina where Rags says to RD, "Barry wants you outside. He says it has to do with a possible clone he might order." RD being the business man he is quickly jumps up and runs out to Barry to settle a possible deal. Upon arriving outside Barry steps on RD, flattening him intn pancake form. He then takes some syrup and covers RD in the gooy mess and proceeds to eat him. Then spits him out and eats him again. He does this process a few times before finally taking RD and tieing him up against the two hunks of metal that was once RDs beloved ship. Barry goes back and eats a hearty meal and returns to find RD still trying to get loose, but to no avail. Barry ties him up even more, this time double knotting his knots and using duck tape as well. Barry then turns around and his tail lifts up. RD can be heard in the Cantina yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Just then everyone can hear Barry grunting as he works on the bowel movement. In the next few moments RD is absolutly covered in 3 tons of Barry crap. A painful, stinky, messed, torture not even the devil himself would put someone through.

[General Woundwort]

Poke my head through the door, take everything in...

turn slightly pale, and go back outside.

[Power Man]

It was not me who caused the problem. It must be that Temporal Distortion beam that Raging Deadstar left on. It must have affected the general Space Time.
I know this because when I got up this Sunday I was an hour behind !
I had to set all my clocks ahead one hour in order to Save the Daylight !!!

Power Man contacts Spork. Prepare one "Heavy Weight Special". Beam it to these coordinates.
Inside the inner sanctum a large create marked "ACME ANVILS , One Gross" materializes over the Temporal Distortion beam.
It smashes down on the mechanism with a great CRASH BANG BOOM TINKLE TINKLE .

With one final ZAP and a POOF of smoke the beam shuts down.

Power Man sees dogscoff on the floor. Poor guy, I hope once he Determines what is going on he will recover.
Power Man helps dogscoff into a seat.
Come on dogscoff you will be better off, off of the floor.
With all of the SH** flying around here you might get messed up.
Hay Taz, a round of ale and tribble wings (extra sauce) for this table.

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff is confused. He wanders up to the bar and looks puzzled when he tries and fails to float ethereally through it. He then orders a pint of breastmilk and a plate of dogfood from Taz, recites a short prayer taught by the Sisters to bless weaponry and then sits on the floor, gibbering insanely...

[Power Man]

Power Man finishes his tribble wings.
Boy it has sure has gotten quiet around here.

Dogscoff seems to be indeterminate.
RD seems to be in “DEEP DO DO” and can’t get out.
Rags seems to be too busy playing with his new “Happy Sacks”

I really did not want to get involved in such a “Raging” Toon battle, but I can’t let the cantina keep sliding down the page.

Power Man calls Spork, “Put the ship on RED ALERT ! FULL SHIELDS AND LOAD ALL WEPONS !”

Now what was that Raging Deadstar told me all those pages ago? What was the name ?

Was it Rin Tin Tim … No. Was it Rose Bud? …. No Rumplestilskin … No

Now I remember! Where did I put that tape?

Power Man gets up and walks over to where Ragnarok is trying to get all of the FBWs to check out his new “Happy Sacks”. (And Failing BTW)

Ragnarok, I have a message for you to listen too.
Power Man turns on the onboard stereo in his mechanical suit.
With a slight crackle the voice of Raging Deadstar is heard…
“Power Man, if that dispicable ragnarok pulls any sort of cartoon violence I’ll wreak horrible revenge, and call him ..
ragamuffin, ragamuffin, RAGAMUFFIN !!! “

With that a pretty pink cloud fill with silver sparkles surrounds Ragnarok covering him from sight.
A large toon lightning bolt flashes with a loud ZOT. From inside the cloud a musical BONG peals out.

The cloud disappears and as the Last of the sparkles die out the cantina patrons all Gasp In Amazement !!

Where Ragnarok was standing there is now a Giant, HI Fiber, Raisin filled, and Bran enriched pastry.

Yes Ragnarok has been turned into Rags-a-MUFFIN !!!

The Giant Muffin has two almond slice eyes and a raisin toothed mouth. It seems to be covered in cinnamon or is that Pink Pixie Dust?

Barry, attracted by the sounds and the smell of fresh baked pasty enters the cantina.
Feeling a little empty for some reason, and hoping that the HI Fiber will help him get “regular”, he grabs the Giant Rags-a-muffin and EATS it in one BIG GLUP!! He then goes back to his post.

Taz follows Barry outside. He sees the pile of Barry Crap.
No wonder business (and Posts) are down. This place is a mess. It must be driving business away.
Taz grabs a large hose and plugs it into the model cantina’s fountain.
Taz exclaims, “Damn It People, I am a Bartender, Not a Sanitation Worker !” and begins to flush the mound of BC into the crater.

RD? RD? are you in there? RD? RD? Who’s going to pay for all the broken glass?

Rags-a-Muffin sits in Barry’s stomach. As his world “Crumbles” around him he wonders,
“Is this the End ?”

Then he realizes, “This TOO SHALL PASS.”

[David E. Gervais]

...Post #999 for me, Quick give me a drink before I get promoted and the prices go up!!

[Raging Deadstar]

Raging Deadstar arrives back at the cantina, completely sanitised and disinfected hovers above the large crater the tent lies in and loccks on to a fresh pile of barry's "business" just behind the tempoary parking lot. Smiling as he locates ragnaroks remains in side it he drops the level 5 plague bomb on and watches as the bomb explodes and a little blob of green gas infects raganrok. He sits and waits for ragnaroks revenge, nothing ragnarok can do will rid him of this diesease, and nothing could make revenge sweeter Than what RD has in mind as symptons ...

[Puke]

Puke walks into the temporary cantina, having already spent the entire 50,000 bounty willed to him by the late GT on debauchery, and looks around for the new cult he has heard so much about.

pale terror washed accross his face as his eyes fall upon the gibbering 'Scoff. the grim realization that only one man could have started such a cult, for the express purpose of luring him here. puke freezes in his tracks as he ponders the events to follow, in the next few moments.

[Taz-in-Space]

...Hmmm, Business is really off. Even all those huge piles of Barry poo can't be responsible for it...
Oh,well. Guess I'll do some more work on that special project I've been delaying...

[Ragnarok]

Ragnarok being infected with a level 5 plague tries to figure out what he could possibly do. After a couple hours of pondering his move he declairs: "Time to make a deal with the Devil."
Ragnarok then grabs his hand held PPB and hands it to the nearest FBW. He instucts her on how to operate it and Rags stands in front of his usual table. Just as the FBW is about to fire Rags says: "Today, is a good day to die!"

*BOOM!*

Ragnarok is suddenly evaporated into nothingness. But wait a minute, maybe he is something. Yes, he has killed himself and been sent to the firey depths of the neatherworld. Once there he confronts the Devil himself. The Devil tells him what his eternal punishment will be but Rags stops him before he can finish.
"Whoa, hold on here mister. I came down here for a reason." After which Rags proceeds to explain to the Devil the situation above. The Devil agrees to Ragnaroks plan and he sends Rags back to the temp cantina with a new body free of the level 5 plague. Hey, I did destroy my old body with that hand help PPB afterall.

RD is furious that Rags managed to find a way out of the situation he was in. Soon after Rags came back the sky turned black. The earth began to shake. Thunder roared. Pretty soon the ground began to break open. Fire emerged as the hole kept getting bigger. Soon a whole slu of the Devils slaves come busting out and proceed to torture RD. But that is only the beginning.

They take RD back to the firey depths and chain him in the back room, kept extra warm for those new comers. To torture RD they bring in a horde of country singers that never made it to heaven due to the horrible music they played. They began to play and sing for RD to make him feel more at home. Next a band of old gay men come in and start to rub lotion all over RDs body. And there isn't a single thing he can do about it at the moment.

RD...one word for you. Check.