Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[David E. Gervais]

OT: btw Taz, did you know I created an alternate avatar for you? It's posted in my avatar thread!

Supercalafragilistiexpiallidoscious!

[dogscoff]

Crazy dogscoff belches magically and is instantly transformed into a dung-beetle, and hastily eats himself an escape route through the poo, away from the weight. Once free, the insect performs a mystical little dance and crazy dogscoff is turned back into himself- albeit a skinny, even wilder-eyed Version of himself with a shaggy, 5 foot long beard and a pair of chipped and dented antlers fixed to his head. He is also completely naked, the only things he could be said to be wearing are a collection of twigs in his dirty hair and an old pendant on a tatty bit of string around his neck. Only Primitive (who knows a lot about runes) and mlmbd (who has a GNVQ in shamanistic rituals) recognise the rune of chaos inscribed on the pendant.

Crazy dogscoff does another little dance, kind of like a sailor's jig, and all eyes turn to the poo-pile. After a few moments, a small tobacco pipe emerges from beneath the surface, searching periscope-like for the can of spinach floating nearby. It finds the tin, burns it open cartoon-style and then sucks the iron-rich contents out.

There is a faint rumbling. The poo-pile quivers, and then explodes in all directions, showering everyone for miles around in foul-smelling crap. Powerman's ship takes a hefty dollop up the exhaust port and crashes to the ground in a very stinky explosion. Taz unzips his brown fur suit (now covered in brown poo) and steps out of it, this time wearing clean but bright orange fur.

Meanwhile, at the epicentre of the excremental explosion can be seen a huge, towering, muscle-flexing buffalo with a pipe, sailor's hat and anchor tattoo. Crazy Dogscoff jumps up and down in the freshly-redistributed poo, clapping with glee at this new mischief.

The vegetable-enhanced ungulate snorts angrily and goes on the rampage, impaling and trampling various people at random, while crazy dogscoff performs another of his magical dances, this one resulting in a torrent of beer and drunk frogs falling from the sky. As the sticky, croaky rain falls and the beserk bufallo chases David Gervais around in circles, crazy dogscoff goes to the crash site to find Powerman. He pulls a dazed PM from the wreckage, and immediately gives him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Shame he forgot to clean his teeth after the dung-beetle transformation...

[ April 14, 2003, 16:17: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Power Man]

Power Man recovers and finds a skinny, wild-eyed dogscoff slobbering all over his faceplate. Looking at dogscoff's head he concludes that all those "promises of Sex" have really got him "HORNEY"

With a mighty heave of his power suit Power Man tosses dogscoff across the crater.
The tatty bit of string breaks. The old pendant flies off dogscoff's neck and with a small plop sinks into the Lake Of Poo.

Dogscoff lands with a thud! He feels weak and drained. (In the USA this week we would say he feels TAXED!)

Suddenly (almost as if a spell has been broken) the sticky, croaky rain stops falling.
The vegetable-enhanced ungulate snorts and stops his rampage.
The near-sighted buffalo Bull looks up and sees dogscoff with his antlers.
The beast thinks dogscoff is either a small skinny bull trying to "horn in" or an ugly cow getting "fresh" and charges at dogscoff.
Dogscoff, realizing he is about to be impaled (one way or another) does a little dance…. Nothing happens.
He gives a belch … Nothing happens.
The bull, now fully riled up by dogscoff's actions lets out a bellow and CHARGES!!

Dogscoff turns and with a comical feet spinning ZING takes off for the hills followed closely by the vegetable-enhanced ungulate.
The bull Caches up and with a "SNORT" pokes dogscoff in the rear. Dogscoff lets out a "OWW".
As the pair disappear in the distance we hear "SNORT", "OWW"….. "SNORT", "OWW'……

Well we all knew dogscoff's mischief would get him in the "end".

Power Man starts working on his ship. Who would have thought level 5 phase shields could be penetrated by Buffalo Poo!
He thinks, "I'll have to add in a new mod. Lets see I'll call it a Buffalo Poo Pelter (BPP). It will have to be an "Organic" weapon. Skips shields and armor. Damages engines. +30 chance to hit."
He shudders at the thought of the idea of the damage a level 5 Massive Mount BPP could do.

But then he realizes that "In space no one can Smell Your Streams"

[Growltigger]

Crikey, I go away for a mere matter of weeks and when I come back, I find you lot spraying cattle manure all round the cantina, revelling in it and throwing gobbetts of the stuff at each other....

like children in a mudpit.. I am truly shocked you mucky oiks..

Who is going to pay for the cleaning I ask you? answer me that!! I don't call that mature behaviour, mature behaviour I dont call that!

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, I noticed tha downfall of the cantina during your absence but was powerless to stop the juvenile antics. I did my best to keep my hands clean, and did much more lurking than posting. The few Posts I made were tame comapred to the 'others'.

Well, Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! (hmmm.. why does saying that three times make me think of music and school?)

Put your first drink on my tab! Cheers!

[Raging Deadstar]

Throwing foul smelling slop around? Me?
*Hides his dirty hands behind his back*

I blame that Powerman! He is a rather troublesome person Actually no, i blame Ragnarok, as usual...

Note: GT, the terrible things he has been abusing with your red hot poker cannon, but currently he is encased underground in wallpaper paste! But it's good to see the great Growltigger back, the place just hasn't been the same without you

[Power Man]

OH NO HE's BACK !!!!!!

First off Growltigger , I thought this place was designed for "cartoon violence like fun."
You should be happy that we have kept the Posts coming and have not let the cantina slip into the back pages.
And it is Not mere cattle manure, it is "Barry POO" that is being spread about.

I have been acting very mature. (YES I HAVE !!!)

Its all Their (RD and Rags) Fault !!

They started it !!!

They Made Me Do It !!!

I was merely Defending myself !!!

Power Man stomps off into his newly fixed ship.
He slams the airlock behind him.
He bLasts off with a ROAR. (Splashing yet more Barry Poo around.)

Call me a "mucky oik" (whatever That is) will you. I'm leaving !!!!

SULK SULK

[Growltigger]

Growltigga walks over to the wall of the cantina behind the bar and pushes a seemingly normal piece of wall.

A secret hatch opens, a glittering control panel is behind it, along with two high tensile kevlar cables which GT clips to Taz and his belts (yes Taz has a belt).

Turning to the control panel, GT pushes the button marked "Stingray bongos", the drums start rolling and a loud voice can be heard saying "Anything can happen in the next half hour"...

GT then next pushes the button marked "Feurer Frei" and sniggers as a horde of German punk rockers, clutching bratwursts and sauerkraut cannon, materialise onto Power Man's ship.

After a few moments of Teutonic mayhem, GT then pushes the button marked "AA BLaster beam" and howls in delight as the specially mounted heavy calibre bLaster beams blow the back off Power Man (aka Mucky Pup)'s spaceship. It crashes to earth and the Germanic Moshers carry Power Man into the cantina and staple gun him to the floor, right in a large pile of poo,

Raging Deadstar and Rags are dragged along side Power Man and dipped in the doo....

Finally, GT pushes the button marked "Tsunami", an huge whooshing sound echoes through the cantina as a tidal wave bursts through the doors and sweeps the whole place clean...

All, save Taz and GT, held by their sturdy kevlar cords, are swept out the other side of the cantina in a sodden pile of limbs and manure....

"Right" says GT, "Its Red Hot Poker Hand Cannon time, the Tyrant has returned"

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey Rammstein are quite a good band GT!!! If you think Feurer Frei was good, watch the video for Sonne! PVC clad dwarfs, heavy power tools, snow white as a prostitute! Very good entertainment!

*Raging Deadstar dutifully buys Growltigger a bottle of expensive champagne and brings back the Red Hot Poker cannon on a pillow back from ragnaroks ship*

The King Has returned, so when we moving to the new establishment Growltigger?

Edit: For more revenge upon that Powerman i thought i'd inform you Rammstein use 3 foot long prosthetic dildos that fire the equivalent of napalm, i think that maybe you'd would find a use for them

[ April 14, 2003, 21:54: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Growltigger]

Yes, Raging Deadstar, Ramstein got the idea for the 3 foot inflatable dildos firing napalm from a brief visit one of them had to my, ahem, boudoir...

Growltigga swells up to 10 feet tall, looks at the mayhem and destruction caused by Rags, Raging Deadstar and Power Man, and pulls out his serrated edge industrial sized vibrator with the furry trims, studs on the outside and even more importantly, a kickstart....

Growltigga roars and the cantina is deafened by the primordial cry of feline fury...

"You panty waisting cheese nibbling ferret felching nancy boys are going to get it GOOOODDDD"....

Taz dutifully presses the final button on the keyboard marked "Super-Warrior", in a shimmering shaft of shining blue incandescence, Growltigga is suddenly clad in power armour, moulded into the shape of a viscious tiger, clutching the serrated vibrator, he pulls the kickstart and heads towards the sodden Rags, RD and Power Man...

"Be brave boys, its BOTTY time"