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  #21  
Old January 2nd, 2003, 03:31 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

SUSPENSE! You just gotta love it!

Very nice add, Atrocities. Very nice indeed!

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  #22  
Old January 2nd, 2003, 07:15 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

This is great stuff. I like the slow pace, the focus on character development and the fact that it is SE4 inspired without being a simple game chronology. I also suspect you have some mean plot twists in store for us, and I look forward to them.

I also like the new, shorter format. When I'm writing I find that I tend to find the end of a chapter at around 1600 - 2500 words but I guess everyone has their own rhythm. I try to edit them to about 2000 words, +- 10%. That seems to be a compact, readable, chunk of writing which is still long enough to move the plot and characters on.

Oh, and what's with the names? Clinton, Gore..?
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  #23  
Old January 3rd, 2003, 03:05 AM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Part III

“Making this announcement to the world will be one of the proudest moments of my life Tom.” Said Robert ‘Bob’ Benton as he stood just out of side of the news room. “I am announcing a new era for our people Tom, an era that I know you will help usher in.” In the back ground the press meeting had begun, and Tom could hear the Press Secretary making the Prime Ministers introduction.

Bob was smiling widely at Tom now, as he to heard his introduction announcement. He patted Tom on the shoulder and stepped out before the Press Corp and the Pandoran people with the pride and professionalism that had won him the appointment to the Prime Ministership.

As he took his position in front of the podium, there was flurry of laser flashes and holo scans. A familiar sight to any one who made this a daily routine, but to Tom it was all new. From his vantage point, just off to the right of where the Prime Minister was standing, he could see Bob preparing to speak. Many of the Press Corp did as well, and quickly a hushed silence filled the room.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, for nearly six thousand years the people of our great planet have been separated first by distance, then by beliefs, and ultimately by war. That time of separation has finally drawn to a close with the founding of the United Global Alliance. For the first time in our collective histories, we are a united planet under one government. No longer do we have to focus upon making war with one another, but only on how to make each of our lives better. The purpose of our existence has never had more meaning than now.

I made a promise to the people of Pandora that before the end of this century we would have in place the ability, the technology, the motivation, and above all else, the passion to reach out into space and begin our exploration of the stars. That is a promise I intend to keep. However, with all great journeys there must be hardships. Today I must regrettably announce to the world of such a hardship. A true inspiration and driving force behind our dreams to explore the heavens has died.” He paused for effect.

“Lieutenant General John Lesser, the Director of the Space Exploration Division, has passed away. I wish to express the sincerest regrets of a grateful planet to the Generals family, and to offer you, the citizens of our world continued hope. it is to that ends that I have appointed Major General Thomas Allen Christopher, the most decorated war hero in the history of Pandora, as Lieutenant General John Lesser’s replacement.”

With that, Tom entered the arena of his future. He step once again from the shadows out into the open sky of public service. He took up the now vacated position behind the podium and smiled. He looked about the room and took in all that he could see before speaking.

“General John Lesser was as talented a leader as he was a visionary. While Director of S.E.D., several pioneering advancements in the science of space exploration were made. Thus paving the way for our eventual exploration of the stars.” Said Tom as an ice breaking first statement to the world.

“It is with great honor that I accept this appointment as Director of the Space Exploration Division, and although I have been appointed as the late General Lesser replacement, I could never replace him or his achievements.” Tom paused briefly to allow the flurry of laser flashes and holo scans to pass before continuing.

“I promise you all that I will make it my goal in life, with the help of the many talented people at S.E.D., to pave a brave new path of discovery and achievement to the stars. Together we will pick up this torch of hope, and boldly go where no one has gone before.”

With that Tom stepped aside to allow the Prime Minister the podium. “We will now accept questions.” He said simply as he took a step back.

The remainder of the press meeting ,as did the afternoon, went quickly. Tom was eager to get on with his new duties at the SED Complex and the more time he spent touring the Capitol the more he felt like a politician and less like a soldier. By the end of the day he must have shaken more than a thousand hands, answered literally tens of thousands of questions, and must have drank his body weight in drink to which he was now feeling the total effects of.

“Tomorrow you begin the first day of the Last job you shall ever have.” Toasted Bob Benton as he offered his glass in the customary fashion to honor a new appointee. “Welcome to the club Tom.” With that everyone yelled “Cheers.” drank from their raised glasses and sat down. The state dinner was the final official function of the evening, and Tom was grateful for that. The dinner progressed well throughout the evening hours before eventually dying off as people slowly left and returned to the comfort of their homes. A thought that really appealed to Tom.

“It looks like the Ascender is going to have to wait sir.” Said Lieutenant Hess as he stepped up to Tom and offered his hand. Tom graciously accepted it and smiled widely. “Congratulations on the promotion sir and of course the Appointment.” Said Hess cheerfully.
“Thank Lieutenant.” Replied Tom politely. “I trust your bags are packed and your affairs in order?” He asked the young Lieutenant who responded with a puzzled look.
“I don’t understand sir?” Asked Hess cautiously.
“Well haven’t you been informed?” Tom asked him with a slight smile.
“Informed of what sir?”
“Well your new job of course?”
“Excuse me sir, but I don’t follow.” Replied Hess with sincere confusion.
Tom smiled widely at him before speaking. “I have asked that you be on my staff at SED and the Prime Minister himself has approved that request.” Hess simply stood in front of Tom with a blank star upon his face.
“Of course that will mean you will have to be promoted to Captain, but I am sure that is something that you can deal with.” Said Tom as he took a sip from a glass of melon wine which had just been handed to him by a lovely and radiantly attractive mild aged women in peek physical condition.

“Passing out good news I see.” She said as she smiled at them both.
“Oh of course not Madam, you know me far better than that.” Said Tom as he returned her smile.
“Oh come now Thomas, call me Mel.” She said with such charm and style that only an elegant lady as she could posses.
“Are you serious Sir?” Asked Hess finally. “Excuse me Mama, sir.” Apologized Hess as he realized he had interrupted there conversation. Taking no offense to this Tom simply smiled and began the introductions.
“Captain Hess, allow me to introduced to you the Prime Ministers wife, Mrs. Melissa Ruby Benton. Mel allow me to introduce to you the newly promoted Captain Richard Atlas Hess.” Hess bowed slightly as Mrs. Benton offered her hand.
“It is a great pleasure to meet you Mrs. Benton.” Said Hess as he took the Mrs. Benton’s hand and he politely kissed the back in a gentlemanly fashion.
“The pleasure is all mine Captain, and please, call me Mel.”

“Well I see she has found some new prey to toy with this evening.” Joked Robert ‘Bob’ Benton, the Prime Minister, as he casually approached the group. “And I think I know who the new victims are.”

“Oh Bobby.” Melissa Benton said as she blushed. “I only offered him a drink.” Bob and his wife kissed each other with restrained passion. It was clear that these two people were still as much in love now as they were when they were young. Tom waited until there embrace had passed before continuing the introductions.

“Bob, allow me to introduce Captain Richard Hess. He is the young officer who you sent to fetch me two days ago.”
“Prime Minister.” Hess said politely.
“Captain Hess.” Said Bob as he offered his hand. Hess accepted and they shook each others hand. Bob liked this kid instantly, he had a strong hand shake and a confident demeanor. No wonder Tom wanted him on his staff. This kid had potential. As the handshake ended he focused his attention back onto Tom.

“If you will all forgive me, I have to speak with the General in private.” He said as he put his hand on Toms shoulder and politely started to lead him off toward a set of double door. “I won’t keep him but a few moments.” He said as they parted.

“You had better not Bobby, or I will have to send in a rescue party armed to the teeth and have them wrestle him away from you and one of your boring war stories.” His wife joked innocently as they walked away.

“God I love her.” He said to Tom as they walked. “Even though she is a pain in the ***, I still love her.”
“You’re a lucky man Bob.” Said Tom as they approached the double doors and two men in Palace Guard uniforms opened them. The room was a well list library with ample seating for studying and quiet reading. The doors were closed behind them as the they walked over to one of the pure decka wood tables. Bob turned to face Tom and leaned slightly against the table as he folded his arms in front of him. Tom took this as a sign that a serious discussion was about to take place, and he was correct.

“What I am about to tell you is considered absolutely top secret for the time being.” Bob said more seriously than Tom would have liked.

“General Green has ordered a task force to a remote part of the Victorian Glacier for reason I do not yet know. My operative only knows that something was found up there by a scientific team. What that is exactly is unknown. All I do know is if Green is interested in it, we should be as well. So tomorrow, I want you to investigate this for me. I can’t do it myself without raising suspicion.”

Tom thought for a second before replying. “Do you know what scientific team is conduction research on the Victorian Glacier?”
“Right now about thirty teams are up their. They are conducting experiments on everything ranging from the water content of the ice to core sampling in the northern plains. Where exactly Greens task force is heading is still unknown.”

“Well I don’t know what I can do from my end, but I will definitely look into it.” Tom said with no idea of what in the hell he was going to do. Bob smiled a bit as he uncrossed his arms and started for the door.

“Cheer up old friend, starting tomorrow you will be briefed on many things including the new orbital telescope project, advancements in artificial gravity, deflector technology, weapons research, advanced communications, space born operations, a whole slew of things.”

As they left the room, Tom could not but help wonder what lay ahead for him. One thing was for sure, come hell or high water, he was going to make dammed sure that by the time he was done, the Pandoran people will have begun to colonized other worlds.
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  #24  
Old January 4th, 2003, 04:34 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

I've had something come up of a really personal nature and will not be making any more Posts to this topic for a while. If you get board, please bump it from time to time for me. Thanks.

(RL things often come up when your busy making other plans. For this I am sorry.)
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  #25  
Old January 4th, 2003, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Quote:
Originally posted by Atrocities:
I've had something come up of a really personal nature and will not be making any more Posts to this topic for a while. If you get board, please bump it from time to time for me. Thanks.

(RL things often come up when your busy making other plans. For this I am sorry.)
Do not worry about it Atrocities. Take care of your RL situation first, we will still be here when you return to the story.
Hope all goes well for you.

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  #26  
Old January 7th, 2003, 12:50 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Part IV

“I want a complete profile of that bastard on my desk ten minutes ago!” Demand General Green as he pointed at the holo-vid of Thomas Christopher standing with the Prime Minister during the earlier news conference announcing his acceptance of the Directorship of the S.E.D.
“And get me Wilhelm on the com!” He yelled to one of his aids who promptly left the room.
“That bastard should have known what in the hell was going on over there!” He stated. “Three days and no one knew or cared to report it to me!” He yelled as his anger once again flared. “What am I surrounded by idiots?” He looked directly at his aid, Lieutenant Elise.

“When will the task force arrive at the Victorian Glacier discovery site?” He asked in a calmer voice.
Elise took no time to think about his answer, “Within the hour General.” He replied.

“Very good. I want everyone there locked down. If any one is missing, I want them found.” Green said as he sat down behind his desk in his custom built Timmeron Skin office chair. “I do not want any interference from out side agencies. If that thing up there is what I think it is, then I will have what I need to take the Prime Ministership from Benton. I have languished as his lap Dayton for far too long. Humiliating me with this position as his Military Advisor has been insufferable.” His desk com chirped.
“What?” He asked.
“Sir I have Carl Wilhelm on the com.” Came the reply from one of his aids. He looked at Elise and nodded. “Get me that profile Elise, I want to know everything about Christopher there is to know.” He pressed the com channel as Elise and two other aids left his office.
“You idiot!” Green yelled into the com. “Three day and you knew nothing?”
“They kept it under raps General. I am quite impressed that these fools could actually pull something like this off.” It sounded to Green as if Elise was not at all bothered by his angry ton. He leaned forward toward the com a bit.
“Your job was to keep me informed. You’ve failed!” Green said venomously.
“If you want results General, then I suggest that you have me promoted. Otherwise I am out of the loop here, and have been since day one. I explained that too you or do you not recall?” Came an equally venomous response from Wilhelm.

Green sat back in his chair a bit smiling slightly. Normally such insolence would have infuriated him, but Carl was no fool that could be pushed around by a deep voice and offensive attitude. He was in all respects, a brilliant man with a keen concept of directness without the pong fodder.

“Carl, I depend upon you to do the best you can do. If you say it was kept under raps, then so be it. However, I need you to get into the loop especially since Christopher is now the director.” Green spoke this time with respect in his voice, knowing that his aggressive attitude would get no where with Wilhelm.

“He testified against me at my court marshal. The bastard was the ranking Prowler pilot and would not follow my order at Pennington. I sincerely doubt that he will be accommodating of my desire to gain access to the advisory counsel.” Replied Wilhelm. “However, I do have a plan.”

Greens smile deepened a bit. Carl my be many things, but stupid was not one of them. If there was a will, Carl would find the way. “Keep me apprised of your activities. Use a third party.”
“Very well. I will have my man contact you within a week with a report. Wilhelm out.”

Green sat quietly for a moment before pressing the com on his desk. “Elise, where’s that damned profile?”

***

The five black Prowlers swept over the ice plains of the northern Victorian Glacier as silently as a calm breeze. If one did not look up an see them directly all one would know of their passing was a slight breeze and a dark shadow cast momentarily upon the white back ground of the snow and ice.

They flew in a standard V-Formation about twenty five meters off of the ground. The trip was nearly over as they approached the coordinates relayed to them by the scientific team who had made the discovery. One Prowler broke formation and moved off to the west to secure the base camp from which these scientist had come. Within seconds, the first of the four remaining Prowlers was on the ground and its team of twelve men deployed.

The white uniformed men fanned out in standard military incursion formation to sweep the discovery site and secure all buildings and persons located their. It was early morning and all of the scientist were in their tents. The whole operation to secure the site from touch down to completion took less than one minute fifty seconds. The first tent to be taken was the operation tent. It was manned by only one man, and he was secured without incident. The remaining tents were cleared and the occupants removed to the mess tent.

As Captain Macmillan O’Connor entered the mess tent he could see that the scientist were visibly shaken, all that is, except for one. He was a middle aged man with white streaks running through his hair. He approached this man and offered his hand as he spoke. “Dr. Mentor, I am Captain Macmillan O’Connor.”

Dr. Mentor did not accept the mans hand. Captain O’Connor was a man who stood one point five meters in height, well built, and clean shaven. He had black hair cut in military fashion. His eyes were dark brown and his complexion was tan. Dr. Mentor could see the experience of this man on his face as clearly as if he was reading his resume. It was his eyes really they spoke volumes about him. Dr. Mentor knew without a doubt, this man was a man of death.

As O’Connor lowered his hand he stepped forward invading Mentors space and looked directly into Dr. Mentors eyes. When he spoke, it was with a ton of authority that commanded results.
“Where is Dr. Bill Ramzies and your aid Nina Smith?”
Mentor stood silent for a moment not answering him. They starred at each other for a what felt like an eon before he finally had the strength to respond. “They were injured a week ago in a Polaris accident. They were transported to Helen for medical treatment.”

O’Connor looked at him for several seconds before looking away to one of his men. “He’s lying. Begin a grid search of the ice plains to the south of here. Send a team to Davenport and secure the town. I want all communications in and out of that place shut down.” Then he looked back at Dr. Mentor and smiled.

“You have guts doctor.” He said simply then stepped back turned and left the tent.

Dr. Mentor closed his eyes slowly and sat down. How did he know he thought to himself. “God help them both.” He whispered to himself.

[ January 07, 2003, 11:03: Message edited by: Atrocities ]
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  #27  
Old January 7th, 2003, 03:09 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Atrocities, First I hope the RL situation work out! Like rags said;
Quote:
Take care of your RL situation first, we will still be here when you return to the story.
Hope all goes well for you.
Now, this latest chapter is outstanding! Really nice interactions. Whew! Nice add.

Oh yeah, thanks for making them shorter! joke

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  #28  
Old January 7th, 2003, 04:03 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

You're making excellent progress, I really like these stories, keep up the great work.

Cheers!
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Old January 9th, 2003, 04:06 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Thanks.
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Old January 10th, 2003, 03:45 PM
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Default Re: Once Upon The Stars (old thread)

Part V - a

The S.E.D building is a handsome modern age quartz faced five story building on the out skirts of the Capital located at the former Mustafa Air Base, one of the largest air bases in the world. As Toms staff car approached the gate, his driver slowed and came to a stop. The drive exchanged some words with the guard before being allowed to pass. The buildings parameter was a one layer fence with razor wire tops. Tom knew that security was going to have to be improved in order to keep the crucial areas secure while allowing increased access to both the employees and the public. One thing Tom wanted was to make the Division open to the public for tours, and informational exchanges. In the past the SED has always been a military operation and ran as such. Times have changed, and it was high tide that some of those changes began here.

The drive in from the entrance gate to the underground parking facility only took about a minute. As he exited the staff car, Tom looked around. The garage was a vast complex which was already close to a third of the way full by five am. “I see people like to get early starts?” He asked out loud.
“No sir, those are the people who stay on campus. They most likely work in the Propulsion Design Bureau, and the Gravitational Studies Department. They love their work sir.” Responded the drive as he closed Toms door and stepped back around to the drivers side of the staff car. “I will park the car, then report to the motor pool sir. If you wish to leave, just have your aid or secretary com me, and I will be ready for you right here within five minutes sir.”
“Thank you.” Replied Tom simply as he slowly began to walk to the lifts. In the back ground as he walked he could hear the Staff car pulling away. It had been about a year or so since his Last visit to this place, and it felt really good to be back. As the lift moved silently to the fifth floor, Tom reflected back upon the incident at Pennington, and the man who gave the order to kill a thousand innocent people. His first order of business was to confront Carl Wilhelm and set the ground rules. If Willy boy didn’t like the new ground rules, or broke so much as one of them, Tom was going to boot him from the SED with a swift hard kick that he would not soon forget.

The lift stopped, and the doors opened. Tom existed the lift and looked about the floor. It was an open floor with many cubicles spread all about in a maze. The place looked much as it did when he worked here. His office was on the northwestern corner of the building overlooking the launch facility and run ways. It was a breath taking sight to say the least. The Launch complex was nearly fifty stories tall, and was still being completed. From this building, would come some of the first manned, and un-manned, space vessels to be launched into orbit over Pandora in almost eighty years. Next to satellites, nothing important had been launched into space for eight decades. Well that was all about to change.

***

“What?” Asked Nina Smith as she stood looking down at Dr. Bill Ramzies as he pulled himself out from under the Polaris Ground Transport. “What was that Dr. Ramzies?” She asked again.
Bill Ramzies simply looked up at her with deep sad eyes. He didn’t need to say anything. It was clear, the Polaris was finished and with it, the chances for their survival.
“Oh my god!” She said as she raised her hand to her mouth to cover it up. “We’re dead.” She said almost on the verge of tears. Dr. Ramzies had stood by this time. He grabbed both of her arms and shook her slightly.
“Nina, calm down, we are not dead. We still have the Ice Scrambler.” He said as he looked her directly in her eyes. “We can still make it to Davenport, but its going to be a very cold trip.”

She simply looked back at him and shook her head in acknowledgement. How could she have been so stupid she thought. Driving the Polaris right off that ice cliff. She should have been watching the forward scanners. She should have seen it. “Its all my fault.” She cried.
“No, it is not, the scanner was malfunctioning. If I had been piloting, the same thing would have happened to me.” Stated Ramzies as calmingly as he could. “Now we have to get going. I will need your help to free the Ice Scrambler.” With that they both set about the task of freeing the two man open cockpit ground hovering vehicle. It was small with limited in range, but it was fast, and reliable with good forward ground sensors that would hopefully keep them from running off another cliff.

Within an hour they had freed the Ice Scrambler and were on their way again. Ramzies figured that at their current pace, they would reach Davenport in just under two days, or freeze to death. The Ice Scrambler had the fuel to make within walking distance of Davenport, but without accurate satellite guidance, they could be heading in the opposite direction. ‘Thank god I took that Last reading before we went off that damned cliff’ thought Ramzies to himself as he maneuvered the Scrambler over the rough ice and snow surfaces of the Northern Ice Plains.
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