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June 3rd, 2002, 05:20 PM
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National Security Advisor
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
D, This detective story is very good writing. I particularly enjoy the depth you are going to describe the characters. This I believe is what is missing from the typical SEIV fan fiction, my own included. I am very eager to read more.
One technical nitpick though, there should be a link to chapter 2 from chapter 1. Instead of having to go back to the main page to get to it.
Geoschmo
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June 4th, 2002, 10:32 PM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Thanks for all the O&C feedback on this thread and others. It has all been noted and will be acted upon.
A few questions:
1- would you rather wait longer for new chapters if it meant not having to re-read earlier chapters as I reverse-engineer the plot?
2- Do I need to spend more time describing settings/ background?
3- I think I'm going to have to write a few chapters from Cane's Point of View, as we approach territory which is more familiar to Othaglot. Is this a bad idea?
I'm starting to form a more detailed plot, BTW. Some teasers for what's to come:
- Violence! How do you fight someone with 12 limbs and no skeleton?
- Cool gedgets! I'm sure I'll think of something.
- Gripping cliffhangers! The end of Chapter 2 was a bit boring, wasn't it?
- Intra-species sex: Tentacles and testacles! Othaglot is only "mostly male" after all. (I'm only kidding about this one. Probably.)
- Exotic locations! We'll be visiting the soggy Cue Cappa homeworld and Cane's bug-eating parents on Ceres IV.
- Inteplanetary conflicts and conspiracies! 'Nuff said. This is Space Empires after all.
- Much much more... it's so good even I don't know what it is yet!
(The above spoilers are subject to change without notice, as is what you've already read.)
[ June 04, 2002, 21:41: Message edited by: dogscoff ]
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June 5th, 2002, 02:23 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Quote:
1- would you rather wait longer for new chapters if it meant not having to re-read earlier chapters as I reverse-engineer the plot?
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I don't mind re-reading, as long as you tell us which chapters have changed. If a plot development in Chapter 8 depended on a change to Chapter 3 that I hadn't read, it would be very confusing.
Quote:
2- Do I need to spend more time describing settings/ background?
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IMO, no, you're doing fine.
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3- I think I'm going to have to write a few chapters from Cane's Point of View, as we approach territory which is more familiar to Othaglot. Is this a bad idea?
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Not at all, I can think of at least three professional authors I've read who do that.
[ June 05, 2002, 01:24: Message edited by: capnq ]
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June 5th, 2002, 03:54 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
I concur. I don't mind you changing things as long as you let us know what changed. I rather enjoy observing the process you are going through to develop the story. Who knows, maybe it will even help some of us poor shlocks with our writing.
Geo
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June 5th, 2002, 05:47 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
1) I'll jump on the bandwagon that's already rolling. As long as you let us know of changes it's fine to post new chapters as you revise.
2) Good settings help a story immeasurably. It's just a question of what sort of story you want to write. Lot's of discursive description might bore people looking for an 'action/adventure' story. But this looks like a whodunnit, and we all know that whodunnit's hinge off details.
If some point of the setting/background is necessary to the story, you'd better describe it in detail. It's probably most effective to deal with the pertinent details from the point of view of whichever character is a stranger to them, so we have an excuse for a 'newbie' level explanation.
3) Excellent idea, for the reason cited above. You get to describe things from the point of view of someone unfamiliar with them and it gives a good excuse to fill the reader in. Also, switching points of view back and forth could let you pull some tricks, if you're clever. As already noted, 'whodunnit' mysteries hinge of small details. You might use the device of describing things from odd viewpoints to conceal major points in the story until the Last minute. It might take some time for those two 'aliens' to fully understand eacch other, and while they are not fully certain of each others meanings all sorts of things can pass through the net.
Don't over do the violence unless you're really aiming for an action/adventure story. I don't think the genre's mix very well.
And surely by now you realize that every single person in this forum LOVES to speculate on SciFi technology, gadgetry, and alien life. You've got a whole committe of anxious and eager collaborators waiting if you would like to toss some problems out for us. Then stand back!
[ June 05, 2002, 05:07: Message edited by: Baron Munchausen ]
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June 5th, 2002, 09:03 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Monday night I was at a gig and didn't get to sleep until 4am. Last night then, I went to bed at eleven and couldn't sleep for 3 hours. This means I now have almost the entire plot worked out, but I'm so tired I can't be arsed to type it up. (Up at 6 this morning for work )
I don't think I'll need to do much more reverse-engineering. Probably looking at 12 - 20 chapters in total, with Vikings, Mafia, a brewery-based conspiracy theory and a big big big big gap for a sequel, (but without making this story in any way dependant on the next.)
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June 5th, 2002, 09:03 PM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Chapter 3 is up. Click the banner and then "fiction". We'll get on to some actual detective work next chapter, I promise.
[ June 05, 2002, 20:06: Message edited by: dogscoff ]
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June 7th, 2002, 01:27 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
This latest chapter seems shorter and blander than the first two. Is there really that much difference in 'interest level' when seeing from an alien viewpoint?
You'd think they would have more discussion about the food problem. Wasn't Cane surprised to find that he had to catch the food himself? He didn't seem to be very surprised. Or was he 'sort of' aware of Cue Cappa feeding customs before he was sent out?
If the Cue Cappa don't like recreational drugs, what do they think of cooking your food? I bet they'd think humans are pretty stupid for killing their food and storing it before it needs to be eaten. "As soon as it's dead it starts to spoil!"
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June 7th, 2002, 09:41 AM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
Baron - Good points, although I plan to address quite a few of them when Othaglot gets to Ceres IV - You might have seen a hint that human eating habits there aren't quite the same as they are on Earth. More about that about chapter 10ish.
As for shorter, blander... I can't argue with that. It didn't get the same level of reworking as the others. I might have another go at it. I've been seriously considering merging Chapter 1& 2 together, 3 & 4 & 5 together, so that it's one chapter from O, one chapter from C...
Chapter 4 is a little more lively, and things get even better after that
Chapter 4 is now up, BTW. Rollo will be pleased to learn that he has a cameo, albeit in anagrammatical form=-)
[ June 07, 2002, 08:53: Message edited by: dogscoff ]
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June 7th, 2002, 02:20 PM
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Re: Othaglot and Cane - Story Thread
OK, help needed. I want a sub-aquatic oxygen breathing race for later in the Othaglot & Cane story. I could use the Sergetti, or I could make something up, but I'm kind of hoping someone will have a more suitable race already invented. If you have one/ know of one, send me the _AI_General file.
Ta.
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