MP: I Need More Power! - yet another MA newbie game - Finished (Ulm won by agreement)

[Lung Drago]

Originally Posted by Mightypeon

Evil opressors of poor fishworms!

Yes, they are poor indeed, I'll agree to that. Thankfully, His Grace is around to look into the matter! I have personally read the reports on the former fish people of Atlantis that are a part of the Empire for some time now, and they are assimilating with our culture well. They seem pleasantly surprised to learn that The Way very highly respects the element of water which is their home. Both us and them have a lot of learn from each other, and are enjoying the cooperation so far!
I regret that Fishworm (as Her Beautifulness Lucy so affectionately calls him) had to die (a second time) for this friendship to form. I really, really do regret that. I am sure the Emperor will see to it that his opponent in battle will get his honor immortalized, to ensure both the people of T'ien Ch'i and the native Atlanteans never forget his death was not in vain.

Originally Posted by Mightypeon

My rather creepy NKVD chief Lawrentji Berija wishes to inquire:
If the NKVD captures a male four armed wizard, cuts all of his arms off and then proceeds with a sex change operation, does his rank in the kingdom of Avalon rise of fall?

You might want to check Mr. Berija's home, especially his calendar. I have serious suspicions that his calendar might be going backwards and is in need of calibration or perhaps even demonic exorcism. Once Mr. Berija will be free from the evil grasp of that device, he will probably be in shock. I recommend tea for calming the mind, body, and soul.

Originally Posted by momfreeek

It can be confirmed that Ariasa of Tien Chi is officially classified as a Giant Four Armed Wizard and thus holds high status in the land of Avalon.

Mother Fiommulga, Head Crone of Avalon

I am eternally grateful! Hopefully this will bring back peace to the halls of the Palace in no time. I am sorry for any inconvenience caused, but since the law allowing the Atlanteans into official positions was passed, the Court became somewhat volatile and the Internal Affairs are still adjusting to the change.

Signed,
Xie Lifen, Emperor's personal assistant



OOC: This "public correspondence" somehow reminds me of the notice board in the market, in Europa 1400: The Guild. With one difference, I can't exactly tear down the pamphlets using 2 AP
I also completely forgot to say something about our "Henrich case" earlier. I feel reluctant to act when we really don't know what's going on. But on the other hand... yes, me and Jimbojones now triumphantly demonstrated our awareness and full-time capability of stale-prevention, but I don't think it means we wish to be your "snooze" button on alarm clock, either (and it's common knowledge everyone keeps pressing the button all the time, right?)

[Mightypeon]

Actually, Mr. Berija wished to inquire wether the four armed male sorceror would gain a higher rank upon loosing his arms and being turned into a woman.
However, as the following news indicates, Mr. Berijas questions are no longer of great importance:

Breakings News!
A new Age in warfare?
Enterprising Mage Smiths in the Peoples Republic of Ulm have recently attempted to directly weaponize the thoughts and minds of our greatest thinkers against the nefarious Lizard of Ctiss! After a period in which Mr. Berija oversaw the project, he did, in a suprising turn of events not at all influenced by 2 divisions of Field Marshall Zhukovs troops aiming pointy Sticks at comrade Berijas head, volunteer his very own mind for the project. His brain was surgicially extracted in a complicated arcane ceremony involving large quantities of Wodka and Beer, loaded in a catapult and fired into the general direction of Ctiss`s Capital.
We eagerly await reports from the weapon field test.

Ulm News!
Fair and Heavy!

[jimbojones1971]

+12h added to give C'tis a chance to submit. Will also PM bewarethebarnaclegoose.

[Anaconda]

The status shows the new turns are out, no matter my mail box lies empty.

[jimbojones1971]

Likewise. I have just requested a turn re-send, if that works for me then I will go through and do the same for all nations in the game just to be sure.

[Anaconda]

It did work for me thou...

[jimbojones1971]

As a "foody" with a fondness for exotic dishes and unusual ingredients, Lady Esmeralda of Ermor has undertaken to perform a taste-test of Wo-Man's social heirarchy for us. Her results to-date as shown below, as she works her way through the list:

Official Menu of Avalon

Goddesses - Quite tasty when served deep fried with a side order of squid. I could eat Lucy all day long! Wait, that didn't come out quite right. (Awkward pause follows.) Er, moving right along then...
Witches: Aged meat like this has a lot to recommend it when stewed for a long time, as it was in this classic Vindaloo curry. A bit too much bile and vinegar though. And Mother Fiommulga complained like you would not believe when we were stuffing her into the pot. With hindsight, she probably had a point about how we should have killed her before we cooked her. Live and learn!
Fishnanny (deceased): Average when alive, and death hasn't improved her much. Skip unless you are massively drunk after a night out on the town and fancy a challenge.
Giant four armed wizards: Very common, despite pretentions to royal status. Not bad wrapped in a bun with hot mustard and fried onions and consumed with a crisp Ulmish lager. We recommend earplugs though, as our specimen at the tasting kept bleating about being the Emperor of some tin pot country name C'ien T'hi or somesuch.
Other Women: We flayed the flesh off of these critters and had it as long pork steak tartare. Yummy! And the skeletal remains make great minions, once you've sucked the marrow out. Best with a cheeky Pinot, and band playing in the background to drown out the screams of the victims, er ingredients.
Unicorns: Why would anyone glue a carrot on a horses forhead and pretend it was some sort of magical beast? Made a pretty fine spicy sausage though, served with a garlic mash and side vegetables.

Stay tuned for more results next month, after we finish rounding up the sacred geese and the puppies and force feeding them to fatten up their livers!

Lady Esmeralda, First Consul and Chief Food Critic of Ermor

[BewareTheBarnacleGoose]

I think that C'tis will survive this latest invasion, but if we dont, I hope everyone will remember us as the intolerant, mammal-hating necromancers we always tried to be.

[Mightypeon]

OOC:

Invasion? Thats just the vanguard!
I anxiously await the next turn, let us see wether my many "cunning plans" work

IC:
Today, Ulm news transcribes the pre battle speech of Field Marshall of the Peoples Republic of Ulm, Georgy Zhukov!

"Soldiers of the People! Protectors of the revolution, liberators of the opressed, banes of tyrants, today, another vile beast shall fall before the armies of progress! The reactionary slaveholders may think that there swamps and miasma protect them, but progressive Ulmish science defeated their cowardly bioweapons! The backward beorgouais put trust in their god, but does their god trust itself? The good efforts of the NKVD, and the proclaimed inevitable victory of Marxism has already swayed many in this province away from this snotty gooseformed abomination. Indeed, many of the lizards rather worship the place on the citywall were comrade Berijas brain impacted then a weird smelly fire thing that cannot even decide wether it is dead or not!
The slaveholder think they can rely on hordes of shambling undead, but does Ulmish steel fear mere bones? What do the warriors of Ulm fear anyway? Death? As your can see and hear when you speak to your Bane comrades, Marxism can defeat death itself, and the best agents of the revolution are not to be stopped by somthing as trivial as death!
Will the goose risk itself in a battle where its rebirth is not assured?
Will it dare to lead from the front? Dare to face me in battle if I lead from the front like I always do?
Look upon them, and see the doubt in their snouts! Look upon them, see the fear that makes their tails quiver, look upon some of them, and see hope in their eyes, hope that the Peoples Republic succeeds, that it liberates them from their heinous overlords and brings justice and equality to them!

Today we fight, today we shall win once more!
To battle, Soldier of the People!

--

Ulm News, Fair and Heavy

[jimbojones1971]

Sorry guys, I have had to travel unexpectedly for work and so my turn is going to be a bit late. I'm going to give myself a small extension (for which I ask you understanding), and promise to have it in as soon as I stop moving for 15-20 minutes. :-)