Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

[Growltigger]

Where on earth are Rags and RD and Taz when you need them!?

[Ragnarok]

Rags is walking towards the Cantina as he hears some comotion going on there. On his way there he bumps into Erax who is running away full speed, quick thinking by Rags leads to Ragnarok cuffing Erax to the Dreaded Dwelling Derelict Two Ton Devil Bunny who is walking with Ragnarok. Erax struggles to get free but the Bunny is too powerful for Erax. Ragnarok bust into the Cantina and looks into GTs eyes and exclaims: "I'm Baaacck.....Oh, and I brought a gift." Ragnarok then hands Erax to GT for whatever punishment is in store for him. Ragnarok finds a dusty bottle of vodka and drinks up while waiting for the action to begin.

[Erax]

Thinking quickly, Erax clambers atop the bunny and calls out, "Hey GT, remeber 2002 ? Let me refresh your memory, Brazil 2, England 1 !!"

Growltigga can't contain his rage and lets out a hiss, showing his sabertoothed fangs. This is too much for the poor devil bunny, who takes off at top speed with Erax riding it, while Gt scrambles for his shotgun.

Erax begins to hum the Merry Melodies theme as random bLasts of Sczechuan pepper whizz by his head.

[mac5732]

The older distinguished gentleman who was sitting near the front cantina door, notices some activity inside the aforementioned establishment. Well, he mutters, seems there is still some life left in the old girl," as he gets up, packs up his table, throws the breakfast dishes on the ground, which shatter into thousands of sharp, pointed stilletos of pain (in front of the door, of course He then walks carefully thru the door, looks around sees Rags, GT and Erax, saunders over to his favorite table in the cornor, dusts off all the dust and debris, sits down, and looks around for Taz or a FB to order a brewski or two.....

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk into the Cantina and notice a strange crunching sound. I look down and see that I have been walking over shards. Oh well, Good thing I am wearing my steel soled shoes.

I see Mac over at one of the tables, "Hi Mac," I have a present for you,.. I just made a very special mug. It holds 3.14159.. Galons of brew. It apears to be magical, when you try to empty it, it just keeps on pouring.

Enjoy.

Cheers!

[ October 31, 2003, 11:30: Message edited by: David E. Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Hmmm, thinks the irate cat, not only do I seem to have grown some saberteeth to compliment my very own fangs, but I have this strange urge to find the nearest Brazilian and stick 3 feet of molten hot titanium up his backside.....

And anyway Erax, England thrashed the Brazilians at tidddlywinks you rotter...

As there is now a large giant bunny running round the derelict cantina, GT blows his whistle, and suddenly, the ground vibrates as a giant armour plated sabertoothed cyborg evil minded vicious nasty bastard genetically enhanced dino-ferret comes charging through the wall..

"Sid", for that is the ferret's name, "see that bunny, see that scrawny little Brazilian pillow-biter riding it?, kill the bunny, bring the Latin to me whilst I retrieve and activate my multi-melta super charged red hot poker shoulder mounted anti-backside missile launcher".

Oooh, we havn't had a chase for ages

[Erax]

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'm no longer a virgin."
"What, you mean some guy bested you in combat ?"
"Yes... technically."
"Technically ? What do you mean ?"
"Well, actually, it was, um... at tiddlywinks."
"Tiddlywinks !!??? Damn ! And I'm good at tiddlywinks, too !" (this is from the Discworld PC game).

Anyway, back to affairs at the Cantina... Erax is well on his way to the nearest horizon while Sid lags farther and farther behind (all that armour sure cuts down on his speed, hm ?). Soon he loses Sid and doubles back into a hidden Cantina exit, surprising a bunch of Frenchmen who were staking it out and expecting him to come out, not go in. Once in the tunnels, he grabs a hypertaser off a convenient shelf and zaps Bugz, bringing him to a halt (yes, now the bunny has a name).

Hmmm... time to distract the Boss and his clients ! Erax activates the first of his defenses, and releases a dozen Ronaldo clones, wearing the Brazilian team's uniform, into the Cantina and surrounding grounds.

BLast away Boss, bLast away.

[Growltigger]

But our plucky Brazilian tinkerer forgot to note that old Bugz has been "nobbled" with a locator beacon..

Sid, slobbering at the mouth at hungry for rabbit flesh, burrows through the walls of the cantina and appears right behind of Erax.

However, Sid is expecting to murder a rabbit, and the sight of all those Ronaldo's with their buck teeth making him look like rodentia is sufficient to momentarily confuse the vicious ferret. He rapidly bites a couple of ronaldos in half, lunges at Erax, grabs him and proceeds back to the great sabertoothed feline, who is gentle toasting a large sharp pointy (yet rusty) spike in the furnace...

Meanwhile, the Frenchmen, having finally got through the barricade, catch sight of the remaining Ronaldos and proceed to let rip, all that can be heard are various Gallic cheers and the sound of yellow jersey splatting damply against the walls...

Hmm, says Tigga donning his marigold kitchen gloves, I have heard what those customs inspectors get up to and have adamn fine idea of how to show Erax the error of his nasty Brazilian ways!

[minipol]

As minipol left the cantina for the Last time not so long ago, he went in search of a replacement cantina.
He didn't find any cantina with the same athmosphere, beer and yeah, let's not forget the crazy sabertooth running the joint and his little slave Erax.
Man, those where the days. Feeling nostalgic, minipol walks towards the catina.
*** BAAAAM ***
Wuh? As minipol falls down, he sees a giant bunny racing by with a person on top...
The fall broke his westmalle beer. Great now i'll have to order the house beer. Minipol vaguely remembers the bartender saying something about "never tasted the house beer". Minipol sees some light in the catina! Great. He enters...

[ October 31, 2003, 12:38: Message edited by: minipol ]

[mac5732]

David E. G. Tks, what a great gift, believe me, it will be put to a most excellent use, the research into just seeing if it will ever go empty is most gratifying I sincerely thank you.

Mac reclines back on his favorite chair and begins sipping out of his new brewski mug and the unlimited liquid refreshment found within, and watches the chase that is apparantly beginning to unwind within the confines of the cantina, ahhhhh,

100 bottles of beer on the wall
l00 bottles of beer...
if one would happen to fall
99 bottles of beer on the wall....

a very refreshed (at least for now Mac