Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Loser]

"Life.. is like a box of chocolates. A cheap thoughtless gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back in another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those all you've got left is a.. is an empty box.. filled with useless, brown paper wrappers."
-The Cigarette-Smoking Man

[Iansidious]

I have another one of those MIND GAME from Wardad I was going to use mine is

pick a number 1-10



then multiply by 2

then add 8

then divide by 2

now subtract from the number you first picked[1-10]

now make it to a letter like 1-a 2-b 3-c ect.

think of a country that starts with that letter

now move to the next letter

think of a animal that starts with that letter

one Last thang think of the color of the animal

Why thats silly there are no GREY ELEPHANTS in DENMARK!

hopeful I did it right just as Wardad said it's FREAKY! I was going post this a week ago but didn't but I never heard Wardad's Version nice . by the way I was the 98% because I knew what was coming

Sign the SPACE WEASEL \\//_ Live Long and Prosper Wardad

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Ed Kolis:
"Abbott and Costello, now they were partners, right? And Abbott was the straight man?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Well what I want to know, is if two men are partners, why the hell would one of them be STRAIGHT!"

Ewwww, that gives a whole new meaning to "Who's on first.

[Loser]

pulled from News of the Weird

1995 -- In Des Moines, Iowa, in May, Ruth Bradshaw, 93, awoke to find her house being burglarized and decided to pretend that she knew the perpetrator not as a burglar but as a friend of her truck-driving grandson. She welcomed him "back" into the home, served him breakfast, and insisted that he lie down and relax a spell, at which point she called police. Bradshaw attributes her smarts to her career as a bootlegger and a pastor.

Yep, I'm guessing those two occupations will keep you light on your toes.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by deccan:
Got this from the latest copy of the Dilbert Newsletter:

Hello, fellow DNRC member!

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by Kamog:

quote:

---

Originally posted by deccan:
Got this from the latest copy of the Dilbert Newsletter:

Hello, fellow DNRC member!

---

You too? Did you ever put in for a title, or request support for the presidency?

[deccan]

Originally posted by Kamog:
Hello, fellow DNRC member!

Heheh, we're all members of the ruling class. All hail Dogbert!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

hitler was an atheist.

it's amazing how quickly some little socail theories can be blown out of the water.

oh, yes. he shot himself.

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
hitler was an atheist.

it's amazing how quickly some little socail theories can be blown out of the water.

oh, yes. he shot himself.

Nah, hitler was a Christian. He was a member of Skull & Bones, the occult group that George W. Bush is a member of.

It's amazing how quickly some little dogmatic theories can be blown out of the water.

And so on.

[Loser]

Originally posted by Nocturnal:
Nah, hitler was a Christian. He was a member of Skull & Bones, the occult group that George W. Bush is a member of.

Neither of these would surprise or trouble me, but do you have documentation?