Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave - Page 39

Erax · #**381** June 17th, 2003, 08:36 PM

Quote:

But what are you going to do with a gross of chocolate covered tribble wings, a case of "El-cheepo" bubbling wine, and a case of raw ousters??

Well the Cap'n, Scoffo and Kamog suffered some rough treatment (not sure about Taz), they are going to need some 'help' before they return to the Phong to, ah, question our prisoners.

Anyway...

The requested items arrive. Erax quickly separates all the consumables and puts them away in the fridge (medical labs always have these !), then sets up an underground city controller unit with self-repair capability in place of S'Katchoo's brain.

Now for the hard part. He reprograms the city's video network to run a few ads at prime time, advertising the Phong as "the most amazing woman's shoe store this side of the energy barrier, for a limited time in orbit over YOUR planet !"

There... that should bring them all in.

dogscoff · #**382** June 18th, 2003, 01:07 AM

*Bored by all the hi-techery, dogscoff reflects on just how deeply disappointed he is that he never got to fire his oversized space-marine style weapons at anything but figments of his own imagination.

With 26 Posts left and nothing to do but watch these engineering types fiddle about with their "controllers", he packs his pulse rifle & grenade launcher and decides to go mosquito hunting. Also, a nice stroll might help sort out the funny walk and castrato voice still lingering from that Last little incident.

Anyone care to join me? Who knows what kind of mosquitos they have on this planet.

[ June 17, 2003, 12:10: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Growltigger · #**383** June 18th, 2003, 01:33 AM

Good idea Dogscoff, all we have had to shoot on this away mission so far is some weird deadstar female monster type thingummywhatsits.... no real competition or challenge.

As the techno-nerds (they would have to be American) are building their engine, and Taz is cleaning his fur, I think I can go and enjoy myself a bit with you Dogscoff with a bit of hunting. Should put a bit of apetite for, ahem, interrogating our lovely lady prisoners later

You never know, I might just recall you smashing the but of your rifle into my "pouch" when I am trying to find something to aim at

Kamog · #**384** June 18th, 2003, 04:15 AM

Kamog takes his tricorder and scans in the architecture and design of the beautiful tiled room with the fountain, and also captures holographic images of several girls.

When we get back to the ship, this will make a very nice holodeck program...

Growltigger · #**385** June 18th, 2003, 12:48 PM

Captain to Mr Power Man, beam down some nasty evil lizardi things with lots of teeth from the Phong's Head menagerie. Dogscoff and I need something to kill.

Erax and Kamog, stop taking photos of nice young ladies and get that brain in place.

Has anyone found out why on earth the beeyoooootiful young ladies chose Mr S'Katchoo? (other than the fact that he is a disco queen with an underutilised brain?)....

and who is this funny senator deadstar who keeps making sotto vocce comments on the airwaves? someone please shoot him

Growltigger · #**386** June 18th, 2003, 02:27 PM

"Mr Erax" says the captain as he gets into his loading robotic suite and proceeds to take the "Long Legged Heron Flying Over Dark Mountain" karate stance...., "stop getting cheeky with me m'boyo, you get that controller in place with immediate effect. If Dr Geo is not available for the operation, you might have to do it"

"HeeeeyyyahhhhH" the sight of El Kapitano springing through the air in his loading suit amazes all onlookers. The Queen lizard puts up her dukes and a battle royale commences!!

Cry havoc, and let slip the cats of war!!!

Bang bang biff biff crunch shriek heeyahhh bang bang biff biff pow thwack biff biff take that you vicious lizard scumbag biff biff twok crunch snff snff snffff thump

dogscoff · #**387** June 19th, 2003, 01:06 AM

At Last!

*dogscoff goes into another trigger happy frenzy. By the time 3 minutes have elapsed, he and 'tig are covered head to toe in lizard guts and out of ammunition. Only the giant queen-lizard remains, so dogscoff has a couple of big power-assisted loading suits (like the one from aliens) beamed down for the big finale punchup.

Erax · #**388** June 19th, 2003, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Erax and Kamog, stop taking photos of nice young ladies and get that brain in place.

Actually, Cap'n, our job was to get the brain out of the controller thingy, getting it back into Mr. S'Katchoo's head is Dr. Geo's job.

I'm an engineer, not a doctor !

Taz-in-Space · #**389** June 19th, 2003, 07:39 AM

Taz, always ready to learn some new violence, produces a large notepad...

Quote:

Bang bang biff biff crunch shriek heeyahhh bang bang biff biff pow thwack biff biff take that you vicious lizard scumbag biff biff twok crunch snff snff snffff thump

Notes:
bang = 4
biff = 8
crunch = 2
shriek = 1 -> I assume this is the queen

heeyahhh = 1
pow = 1
thwack = 1
take that you vicious lizard scumbag = 1
twok = 1
snff = 2
snffff = 1 -> the long form of snff?
thump = 1 -> really hope this is the queen

OK, Taz got all of that... go on...

Growltigger · #**390** June 19th, 2003, 09:47 AM

The bell rings and round 1 is over. Over heroic Captain strides over to the red corner in his loading mechanoid, slightly dented, sweating and swearing profusely with just a touch of blood from a small flesh wound.

The Queen Lizard is a tad more battered, and still plucky and raring for the fight.

Dogscoff mean while is having a nice chat with the young lady in the bikini who parades around the ring with the round numbers...

Ding ding seconds out Round 2....

Heeeeyaahhhhh rroowwlll thump bash biff crunch snap crunch awooga twok biff bash kick squeal snff snff snff snff pow cowabunga bash bash biff oooh you nasty little iguana crunch smash bite chew fnar fnar bash poke gouge biff twok munch snap bash biff roowwwwllll bugger crash biff bang boff twok biff crunch slam squeal CRASH......

The Queen is down for a standing count.......