War is Hell - Ended. johnarryn wins as EA Ulm.

[Peregrine42]

And here we go! Turn 1 sent.

Hopefully this game will go a bit better than my other (and 1st) MP game. In that one, I managed to turn a position of relative power into a position of "Oh crap, I think I'm knee deep in monkey poo" through pure mismanagement. Then again, I may have been knee deep in monkey poo to start with and not even realized it. I blame my prophet who, apparently, was too busy dallying with the camp followers to march into war like I told him to.

Bandarlover, nothing personal, but I really hope you are far away from me. I've had my fill of monkeys for a little while.

I'll be on for a few hours if another turn comes up. I'm Canadian, living in Ottawa but originally from Montreal. Eastern Standard Time.

[LoloMo]

I'm from Philippines. Sent out my turn =)

Edit: I'm GMT +8, but I log on several times a day. Hopefully we'll get a few turns done over the weekend.

[Methel]

Norway here, so gmt +1

[LoloMo]

"Boss, we're not supposed to be here", Yad ventures again for the seventeenth time since entering the Forbidden Gorge several hours ago.

"Shut up Yad", Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh (Hundredth and Fifty Eighth according to popular royal kitchen gossip) responds.

"I mean, it's called the Forbidden Gorge for a reason. They could have called it the Barren Gorge, or the Stinky Gorge, or even the Gorge Where Traitors To the King Flees Never To Be Seen Again And Where The Royal Kingdom Constabulary Refuses To Pursue Prefering The One Year Latrine Duty Punishment Instead..."

"Shut up Yad", Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh replies by reflex, as he negotiates a group of largish slabs of fossilized coral rock.

"..."

Surprised at his servant's sudden obedience, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh (and don't you forget it) looks up to see Yad staring ahead with his mouth open and shaking all over.

Turning to the object of Yad's fear, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh beheld a smallish stone bridge traversing a smallish ravine (it was barely a crack) in the seabed. On both sides of the bridge, sickly green ooze floated straight up, carried along by unseen currents. On the bridge itself squats an unimpressive looking sea brocolli. In fact the only thing unusual about it was that it was colored pink. A light girlish pastel pink for it's stumpy trunk and a glaring fuscia pink for its stubby top appendages.

Irritated, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh gives his servant an angry cuff to back of the head and heads towards the bridge and the pink brocolli blocking the way.

"Boss, we have to go, please please please lets go, somethings not right please please please we have to go now now now", Yad yammers in an epileptic fit of terror.

Making a mental note to feed his latest servant to his prize winning golden stripped kraken once they got back to the palace, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh unhooks his ax as he steps onto the bridge preparing to clear the pink brocolli.

"no no no no noooooo!", Yad screams as he half scrambles half swam back the way they came from.

"Wretched thrall, I'm going to flay you alive before I feed you to Goldie", Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh mutters as he took his first swing at the pink brocolli.

Somehow his blow went wide and hits his right toe instead, hacking away a fair bit of it.

"OW! OW!! OW!!! OW!!!! @#$%@! MOTHER SPAWING TOAD @#$ SHAMBLER SLIME SLURPER @#$%!@@#$%&^&&*@," came a string of invectives that would shock any member of the Royal Court.

The pink brocolli sat there and waved its stumpy appendages condescendingly.

Furious, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh hops back and takes a second swing at the pink brocolli, and a third, and a fourth with the only apparent effect of sending a shiver through the stumpy trunk of the pink fungus. And it wasn't quite a shiver of fear, or of alarm. In fact, it seemed suspiciously more like a giggle.

Enraged, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh drops his ax and charges in, intending to pull and tear apart the waving, shivering, giggling, fuscia appendages with his bare hands.

"I'M THE TWENTY SIXTH PRINCE OF R'LYEH AND NO PINK BROCOLLI WILL DEFY ME!"

Grabbing a handful of the rubbery fuscia appendages in each hand, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh tore left and right, foaming at the mouth with rage.

"I'M THE TWENTY SIXTH PRINCE OF R'LYEH AND YOU WILL OBEY ME!"

But the more Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh laid into the pink brocolli, the more numerous the appendages seemed to become. In fact it seems that a forest of pink appendages now surrounds the hapless Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh. Manic and on the edge of insanity, Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh screams one last time.

"I'M GULATURRU THE FIRST PROPHET OF LOMO AND I WILL NOT DEFY YOU!"

A part of Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh realizes with horror what the rest of his mind has uttered, but that part was even then dimming and it wasn't long before it was as if it never existed.

"I'm Gulaturru the First Prophet of LoMo, and I will obey you!", Gulaturru the First Prophet of LoMo swears as his eyes shine with fanatical fervor.

----

Meanwhile, Yad, the last thrall of Gulaturru the Twenty Sixth Prince of R'lyeh continues half scrambling, half swimming away from the gargantuan shadow pressing upon his mind.

[johnarryn]

Turns are trickling in... make sure to have your turn in my 5 pm EST (GMT -5).

[BandarLover]

The moments following Babadar's encounter with Jasmine and the build up to his meeting with Bandar's Council Elders went by in a blur. He distinctly remembered being met on the road by several Yavana. All of them seemed to know what had transpired even though Babadar had not yet told anyone about his experience. He heard their adulation in his mind despite the fact that they never moved their lips when they spoke to him (Another interesting fact about Yavanas - even though Babadar was too simple of a creature to notice - was that despite the fact that they appeared in both male and female forms, they were completely devoid of any gender specific reproductive genitalia). It was strange, Babadar had always figured they couldn't speak and was just now beginning to appreciate the gifts that come from being Chosen. His small entourage followed him as far as the valley that led to the great tree city of Bandar, before they slipped away unseen. It was a bit unnerving to Babadar; one moment they were there, the next he was alone before the great Outer Wall.

Bandar was laid out in a roughly circular shape around a sweeping crop of trees that were taller than any others on the slopes of Mount Kailasa. The simple, inter-connected huts of the Atavi were built within the tree branches themselves. The larger Bandar apes preferred living in huts on the forest floor. The smaller Markata monkeys lived wherever they could, some even building small lean-tos against other dwellings. They were everywhere, even now as evening began to set and the rest of the Bandar residents were settling down. Babadar was met by a small retinue of Bandar warriors. He recognized their larger, scarred leader as Grafe-Ro, which literally meant Scarred One. He appraised Babadar with his one good eye for a few brief moments. Babadar, as usual, found it difficult not to stare at the three whitish scars that ran down the left side of Grafe-Ro's face from forehead to jaw line. Grafe was a commander of the Outriders, an elite force of warriors that patrolled Bandar's borders and kept it safe from predators. Grafe earned his namesake by single handedly killing the largest tiger ever reported within Kailasa's forests. And while he may have lost an eye, along with several other patches of fur on his body, he had gained the most famous trophy in Bandar. The Elders claimed it was the Father of Tigers that he had slain and rewarded Grafe with a higher place in the Bandar Caste. He was one of the few allowed to carry a sword wherever he went.

"The Elders wish to see you," he finally said in his low, gravelly voice. He turned abruptly on his heels and lead the way to the Common House.

Any other time this would have made Babadar very nervous, but instead he felt a soothing wave of calm coursing through his body. He had intended an audience with the Elders sooner or later.

At the doors, Grafe halted and motioned for Babadar's sword. No weapons were allowed inside and Babadar readily complied. Inside, all of the elder gurus were present, as were the younger yogis. All eyes centered on Babadar as he entered the chamber. He muttered a quick prayer to Jasmine.

"We expect an explanation for your actions Babadar."

It was Sharlynn, the oldest of the guru who spoke. Babadar had by now figured out that the yavanas must have communed with the elders earlier. It was no matter, he had thought long and hard about what he would say to get the elders backing for his plans.

"Brother Sharlynn-" He began before being interuppted.

"Who are you to speak to an elder so, as if we were equals?" The old white- furred guru rose unsteadily, pointing an accusing finger in Babadar's direction. "You have no rights here and you will know your place!"

Whatever Babadar was going to say had left him as he stood shocked and terrified. He had thought the elders, if they indeed knew what had occurred to him, would have been happy to know that Jasmine's return as near. Sharlynn, laughed contemptuously, and Babadar knew his thoughts had been heard.

"You are no prophet, Babadar. No goddess would chose such a poorly crafted vessel as you for such a sacred duty. Only the Elders can make that decision, you know this from our own teachings. What answer do you have for this HERESY!"

Babadar was all too aware of every gaze that was turned upon him. He felt parched, his tongue suddenly swollen in his mouth. And his head swam before him. He was dangerously close to panic and can be forgiven for not remembering what happened next.

"FOOL!" Babadar boomed in a voice not entirely his own. His countenance seemed to grow, while the elders all recoiled at his sudden outburst. His eyes glowed a fierce white light and they stared directly at Sharlynn. "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY CHOICES! YOUR PURPOSE IS TO DO MY BIDDING!"

Sharlynn fell bodily to the floor, struggling to raise himself up but it was as if an unseen force held him firmly in place.

"M-m-mistress-" He started.

Babadar's eyes flashed, and he thrust his fist into the air. A blinding light flashed forth, causing all present to shriek in pain. When they finally gathered their senses, Sharlynn's smoldering body still lay on the dirt floor and Babadar was supporting himself against one of the far walls.

"What...what happened?" He asked, genuinely perplexed. He blinked madly; his eyes felt hot in their own sockets and his body felt stretched and sore. When his eyesight returned, he noticed the entire assembly of gurus and yogis had dropped in obeisance to him, heads bowed and arms outstretched with palms raised to the sky. The last thing Babadar thought before he passed out was that somehow, Bandar would be united with the Yavanas in their assigned task of preparing the world for the return of Jasmine.

[johnarryn]

Turn will be out in a few hours, at the most... We're waiting on Niefelheim.

[johnarryn]

Turn 2 is out.

[Szumo]

I see a few of you guys took awake pretenders and attacked with them blindly on 1st turn

What i can't understand is why Arco has 5 guys in Hall of Fame

[johnarryn]

It always happens. He doesnt really have 5 guys in the hall of fame, its just that no one else has earned a spot, so the game by default says there are a bunch of Arco guys there... its a common bug.