Your Empire Is Going To War When:

[Starhawk]

81. You find out that itching is actually a horrible rash caused by your neighbors skin sheddings.

82. You think your neighbors would make the cutest.....uh wall mounted head.

83. That brand new super dreadnought of yours "accidentally" tested it's weapons an inhabited planet, then "accidentally" did it two more times to be sure.

84. You ran over the alien head of state's wife with your hover car, then backed over her and panicked and rolled foward again, and backed up again in panick of course, then rolled foward again.......

85. Your Icaran

86. You've had one too many budlights and you could have been sure that AI said "Hey lardass, yeah I'm talkin to you!"

87. The other race keeps sending messages ending in"Yo Mama", after you nuke his world you find out that his ruler's name just happened to be "Yomama" ooops.

88. When you send your ambassador and his "escort squadron" to the Galactic UN summit world, and ooops who brought that tectonic bomb along!?

89. Your in an elevator with the head of the most powerful empire in the galaxy, you cut one and promptly turn around and go "I know that wasn't human!"

90. At the press conference following your elevator incident you start your opening statement with "Man have you ever guys smelt a Fazra Fart!"

[Atrocities]

91. Your weapons officer says "Wooops!" just as that alien ship explodes.
92. Your policy is: "Shoot first apologize later."
93. You cheated at a game of interstellor poker and the guy with the big bad *** warships wants his money back.
94. The last time you had sex, was with the mate of the EEE Emperor during some diplomatic function on their homeworld.
95. You know those funny looking things your people have been hunting on that world at the edge of your space? What if I told you they weren't animals, they were the children of some alien bad *** race on a field trip! - ooops.
96. If you have ever asked yourself; "Hum, what does this little red button do?" Only to push it and see a bright flash in the distant sky.

[El_Phil]

97. Your chief diplomat has a bad case of Tourette's
98. Your on a diplomatic mission to an alien homeworld, sign a treaty then one of your super dreadnoughts gives a 21 gun salute to celebrate and gets the range slightly wrong glassing the planet below.
99. You decide to save on power costs by capturing EEE in small cages and using them like AA batteries.

[Starhawk]

100. You meet a Phong diplomat and hand him a thong (giggles ensue)....he doesn't have a sense of humor.

101. You've been referring to the Cue Cappa all these years as "Them dang purple bug eyed critters."
101a. You've been referring to them as "Mighty Fine eatin'"

102. You know that big ice world you destroyed just for sh## and giggles because who cares it was uninhabited anyway......yeah.....about that.

103. YOur flagship is the LEXX (anyone who's seen the series knows exactly what I mean).

104. You visit a methane breather's homeworld and begin your public address with "Man it wasn't me! and begin immature histarical laughs.

105. You give a Xi'Chung ambassador a "Terminex" gift card as a present.

106. Your alien intern accidentally spills coffee on your lap so you fire him.....out of a cannon....into the sun.

107. For april fools you send a fleet to your ally's homeworld threatening to destroy him.....then you start thinking "Well I'm already here anyway."

[Atrocities]

Starhawk your on a role so I award you with this:
Click Attachment to see.

[Starhawk]

WOOHOOO sweet
Thanks AT!

Yeah for my first one I was going to post:
"When you meet a Phong ambassador you order your band to play the thong song." But I don't know if anyone here would remember that so

[Atrocities]

108. You have ever eaten another races diplomat.
109. Another races has ever eaten your diplomat
110. Your enemies moto is "Look Who's Coming To Dinner."

[Starhawk]

110: If your first words to an alien race is "Where's the Head?"
110a: If your first words are "Damn you got got hit with the ugly tree!"

111. You wear a shirt saying "Proud member of PETA"
If PETA stands for "PEOPLE EATING TASTY ALIENS."

112. You were invited to the Jerry Springer show by the Xiati president and it has something to do with your daughter....

(Fixed count)

[kerensky]

By starhawk
Your Icaran

Good one. You could also say if your the Qwevlan or the Corim... (as eyt unreleased stories)

[NullAshton]

113. You notice that several ships are moving to your suns...
114. You're moving several ships to the alien's suns...
115. You trade for a star destroyer, that that person oddly had sitting on his own sun...

(fixed count)