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  #491  
Old November 13th, 2003, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

COWBOY BOOTS

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month.
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  #492  
Old November 13th, 2003, 02:45 AM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

The sentence is a command so it doesn't need a noun. When you say, "go over there", the subject "you" is implied.
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  #493  
Old November 13th, 2003, 03:21 AM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

and still requires the sentences around it to give it meaning and defintion; unspoken if not spoken sentences. simply saying 'GO!' transmits no real information.
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  #494  
Old November 13th, 2003, 09:50 AM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Of course it does. It is very clear what you should do, isn't it? In this perspective, "I am" isn't any better: "I am" what? A human? An animal? Upset? Fed up?
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  #495  
Old November 13th, 2003, 12:40 PM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

hmmm, If a sentance needs both a verb and a noun to qualify then it stands to reason the the shortest sentance would have to be two words.

IE:

"Speak friend."
"Enter please."
"Logically speaking."
etc, etc, etc...

But many words are used alone and are perfectally acceptable as complete sentances..

"Stop!", "Enter.", "Hello.", "Goodbye." etc,..

Cheers!
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  #496  
Old November 13th, 2003, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

"Run!" commanded the English professor turned bomb squad member as the timer clicked down toward zero.

"It was too a syntactically correct sentence." he replied as the bomb exploded.

Oh, the dangers of using the English language correctly.
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  #497  
Old November 13th, 2003, 08:58 PM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

'DUCK!' does indeed rely on context. it means on thing on a duck hunt and quite another pretty much anywhere else, unless not spoken with alarm, in which case, it's meaning is partly that of it's meaning on a duck hunt, without the intent to shoot the duck.

'STOP!', while tending to indicate a clear desire to desist, depends on it's context to determine what is to be stopped.

'enter.' can mean to enter a dwelling, input something on a computer, or a key normally used in the process of doing so.

'hello.' tends to be a greeting, but is dependent on context to determine who it is being spoken to and some other facter's, such as tone of voice, determine how warm a greeting it is, what type of greeting it is and wether the person would like to stay and talk.

'goodbye.' tends to be a farewell, but is dependent on context and tone of voice to determine how long the farewell is to Last, wether it is permanent or not and wether there are warm feelings or not.

my theory still holds.
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  #498  
Old November 13th, 2003, 09:41 PM

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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Dispute elsewhere.

Bring the funny here.
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  #499  
Old November 13th, 2003, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

funny? BUNNY!
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  #500  
Old November 13th, 2003, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest.
A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.

When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz.
They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz.

Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."

Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."

Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"
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