KingMaker - let the Ascension War commence!

[cleveland]

It was shaping up to be yet another disappointing season for the Giants: all forts sieged, all armies decimated, all playoff hopes dashed...

...that is, until Head Coach Kauthuga pulled a rabbit out of his hat, calling up 3rd-string reserves from the MA Jotunheim farm leagues.

"Yeah, the defense has been pretty lackluster lately, and the offense...well...lets just say things were better before Barack went on the permanent DL," Coach Kauth said during a press conference in the besieged capital of LA Utgard.

"But we've turned it around. This Giants team is united and ready to go. I mean, you shoulda seen them new MA Jotunheim boys smash that dollar's worth of PD...smashed 'em REAL nice," said Kauth, salivating noticeably.

However, weary fans are already predicting a disappointing ending to this Giants rally. "I don't care how good Orm is," said one drunken season-ticket holder, "them Giants is ALWAYS gonna play a smashmouth game, and guess what...it ain't workin'."

Will the MA Jotunheim boys be able to turn the G-Men around? Or will the decision to leave their vast frontier protected only by their notoriously crappy PD - while 90% of their forces are concentrated in province 734 - ruin their playoff dreams? Stay tuned sportsfans!

[DonCorazon]

Well the Giants are certainly known for having fan base of back seat coaches who complain about Utgard “leaving its vast frontier protected only by notoriously crappy PD causing Coach K no end of heartache. What are the alternatives Coach K asks – spreading expensive troops to patrol against Sidhe raiders, boosting the PD past 1, or getting blinded expensive werewolves on the company payroll? Useless and wasteful in all cases. No, better to send our troops to conquer other lands to stock up for the day that the inevitable and annoying Sidhe raiders sprout up like weeds.

Anyway, Eriu’s neighbors would be wise to strike down this foe, with his ever increasing research and access to Utgard’s gem horde (you can find him out of order on the lower part of the score graphs – another bit of elvish trickery) This treacherous foe shall soon be a serious enemy. His Sidhe are probably already trying to woo your women and staking out positions in your forts while he stalls and stutters his NAP negotiations with you as he did with us bumbling backward giants. Act now while he is spread out across Utgard and you will save yourself serious headache and marital problems down the road.
-Coach K

[JimMorrison]

Wooing our women?

The proud women of Gath would never stoop to copulate with uncouth barbarians who don't even trim their genitalia.

[cleveland]

Er, the only genitalia trimmers we've met are eunuchs fleeing from EA Arcoscephale...

[Xietor]

if you have not noticed from the flood of posts, I am back from vacation. Please send sub requests to me again.

Many thanks to llamabeast for handling the game in my absence.

[llamabeast]

No worries! I didn't really have to do anything.

[DrPraetorious]

The EA Giants, who still wear blue and play in Niefel stadium, play smash-mouth football *and* cannot be stopped. Our arrogance is entirely justified - we will never have our comeuppance! Never!

[cleveland]

Coach K,

I hope you give the MVP award to that lone blind berserking Woodsman. [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/icon09.gif[/img]


Seriously, this auto-rout nonsense is absolutely absurd.

[DonCorazon]

He is a national hero and symbol of the indomitable Utgardian spirt.

I could say the same thing about absurdity of Eye Shields. I mean they basically have ruined my nation.

[cleveland]

DonCorazon said:
I could say the same thing about absurdity of Eye Shields.

Agreed. It should be an artifact, not a 10N Const2 trinket.