Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Wardad]

Polands's Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.

Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

[rdouglass]

Memo To All Staff From Tech Support

Management has determined that there is no longer any need for network or software applications support. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Dec. 31, 2003.

Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:

1. No OS problems.
2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.

Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q. My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I create a New Document window?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What's the shortcut for Undo?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A. Don't shake it.

[Ed Kolis]

You know you haven't played enough SE4 when...

You find yourself saying, "Select racial traits?!? What is this, some kind of evil Nazi eugenics program?!? "

You don't understand the subtle reasoning behind the "attack base" design type... "how can a base attack? it just SITS there! "

You think that SM is something kinky that goths do in their free time

---

You know you've played TOO MUCH SE4 when...

you wonder why the people of Iraq are so angry - there are so many troops over there!

You think that gold costs $40 a copy, not $400 an ounce

You believe that when Germany took over Poland in WWII, the Poles still looked like Poles, still breathed their own atmosphere, but otherwise took on all outward resemblance of Germans.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

http://lavendereyes.rivkashome.com/m...ry&storyid=128
this is the funniest thing i have ever read, even late at night when my humor runs away from me.

those are two of my favorite worlds/characters.

[ December 19, 2003, 11:18: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

well, this isn't quite as funny, but it's worth a few chuckles:
http://lavendereyes.rivkashome.com/m...ory&storyid=76

[narf poit chez BOOM]

you know, someone else should post here.

another rocket engine on a car? i don't know, but it's funny:
http://cuagain.manilasites.com/stories/storyReader$287

ran into the link in the baen bar. bar.baen.com

[David E. Gervais]

Want to hear something funny? Nasa is actually doing serious research on personal flying vehicles. They are a car/plane combo that needs very little runway to take off and land. the idea is to have many tiny airports near work centers and have people fly to and land nearby then drive the few miles to work.

This is supposed to help relieve the congestion on the highways. Gee, now we'll have to worry about falling cars. I wonder what that will do to car insurance?

LoL Cheers!

[Suicide Junkie]

The dead rarely come to collect on the insurance

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
The dead rarely come to collect on the insurance

True, so very true.

Cheers!

[Geckomlis]

Originally posted by David E. Gervais:
Want to hear something funny? Nasa is actually doing serious research on personal flying vehicles. They are a car/plane combo that needs very little runway to take off and land. the idea is to have many tiny airports near work centers and have people fly to and land nearby then drive the few miles to work.

This is supposed to help relieve the congestion on the highways. Gee, now we'll have to worry about falling cars. I wonder what that will do to car insurance?

LoL Cheers!

Small Aircraft Transportation System (SATS)
http://sats.larc.nasa.gov/main.html

Sorry. No mention of car/plane combos. Considering how many Canadian communities are totally dependent on air taxis services, I would think that you would welcome the concept. In the past, especially before WW2, the USA had a lot more local small (potentially commuter) airports. They have been in even a steeper decline recently as traffic at the hubs exceeds capacity. The down side… post 9/11 security considerations.