(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[Erax]

Yes, I second 'Scoff's advice. I went through a 'lazy phase' in my teen years and used a native natural stimulant (guaraná) to help me. It worked for me, but I strongly dis-recommend any of that.

[oleg]

What is all this stuff about "power drinks" ?
A pint of bitter and you are fine

[Taera]

i want to thank everyone here. im not yet over my depressions but im getting out of lethargic phase of it. as it always happens, im not moving to a phase where i WANT things to change.

[tbontob]

Originally posted by Taera:
EDIT: what i posted was pointless... i edited it to make more sense

i have developed myself a strong willpower over the Last few years that helped me a lot - i often had been able to overcome the, as narf said, 'blah' moods. lately it've been kinda crushed by evening depression - ironically evenings are the time when im doing things, like 3d modelling or doing hw or writing letters or ANYTHING. im a night person, usually my inspirations strike me after 10 o'clock and im motivated to do stuff.

right now i have hard time finding myself anything to do at evenings. i dont know the reason though, i did always spend many of my evenings at home.

I feel that Ruatha's spouse has made a very good suggestion. Doing something, anything will often get a person out of the rut he is in.

It does sound like you have a lot more time on your hands. Time which would ordinarily be taken up with other activities.

It could be that with the extra time is allowing you to consciously or unconsciously examine yourself. And if the standard against which you are comparing yourself is high, understandably there will be depression and "blah moods" as the discrepancy between "what is" and "what should be" may be wide.

We all need to be gentle and loving to ourselves. If we are lucky, we will have parents who can show us how to be kind to ourselves. Or we may be unlucky and have parents who have shown us how to be critical and condemning of ourselves when we miss the mark, whatever that may be.

But whatever parents we have, we still have a choice. We can either affirm we are of value, have merit and have meaning or we can put ourselves down and degrade ourselves.

Often, we do not know which camp we are in. You can discover which one it is by listening to your stray thoughts in your quiet moments. They will tell you whether you are loving to yourself and others or not.

If you are unable to relax enough to listen quietly to your stray thoughts, that may be an indication of the latter.

What to do if the discovery is negative? Reaffirm your worth to yourself. But also reaffirm the worth of others as climbing on the shoulders of others will not bring about a genuine feeling of worth.

Examine the standards which you have accepted. And when you do not measure up to these self-imposed standards, be kind to yourself. It is all part of being human and the learning experience.

[Will]

Hmmm, just now noticed this thread...

Here's an idea that didn't come up in the other Posts: get into the arts more. My school years were miserable up until the end of my junior year (11th grade). Starting then, I picked up playing guitar (Note, chicks dig: guitarists, scars, guys who can/do cook/clean, guys who listen ). After that, I started leaving the house more, doing things. After that, I went to a summer program in Information Technology that was offered by Pennsylvania's Dept. of Education (I lived in PA then).

Senior year (12th grade), I kept playing guitar, took an art class (sure, I was in a class with all the freshmen, but a friend and I decided we focused too much on academics and we took it together), and just felt a lot better. I also joined the school's tennis team... which was only possible because there was just barely enough interest to keep the program alive, and the team was perpetually in the cellar for the rankings. But, I met people from other schools, and had a good time, even while losing. In fact, to this day I have yet to win a tennis match

As for the situation with your female friend, I don't really have any advice to offer, as I'm still working on figuring that out myself. Tried asking a girl out once, and was given a resounding "NO" in a fashion that was quite harsh... never tried again since. I'm just sticking with meeting new people until I find one who I think is worth it.

I hope all this helps you find a solution to your troubles.

[Taera]

im thinking. im yet to figure out a way for myself.

tbontob:
you are absolutely right, i have way too much spare time. this might be the reason, i agree.

and you are more right than you might want to have been. for one i have very critical parents. that says it all. as for standards, it seems that living in Canada affected these - all of Canadians are very successful at social lives and sports. My class of C.A.L.M (Carreer and Life Management) doesnt help there because the teacher builds up high standards for the class.

I do realize I need to reaffirm my self-confidence, and im looking for ways how.

Two more things that are not helping me at all - one, my family is facing some financial problems right now... meaning i cant realy do some things i would, like go to movies more. to add to this ive never had a job before - and now about to start looking for one. That will give me some money to spend... in the future.
Another issue ... i cant recall it, i will get back to it tomorrow.

Will:
your thoughts match mine, and thanks for the advice because you caused me to think it over.
i've been thinking of learning to play a guitar myself... or to play something! and art class... well, ill post my 2nd post following it, read it.

edit: nope, no 2nd post. frankly ive been considering taking art in my 12th grade myself. i guess ill do that, just because i always wanted an art class.

and will, you reminded me of one sport i always liked playing - tennis. i might try to find something here.

thanks a lot everyone.

[ May 27, 2003, 08:25: Message edited by: Taera ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

i think a person should use criticism, if they do use it, constructivly. so, "doing this might be better" good. "what where you thinking" bad. sometimes, "do that to much more and bad things will happen" good to.

[dogscoff]

My class of C.A.L.M (Carreer and Life Management) doesnt help

Beware of any class that has a clever acronym for a title. When i was at school we had to endure "Skiils For Adolescents" classes. Take a look at the acronym. SFA. I kid you not. It was the most useless class ever, a kind of lame, directionless group counselling session with teachers that knew nothing about counselling and kids who just wanted to get the hell out of there.

(For the English=foreign language ppl here, SFA is a popular acronym for "Sweet F*** All", which you use when you want to imply "sitting around doing nothing")

As for the financial thing- yeah that can be an obstacle to broadening your experiences and enjoying a full social life. Do you have a job? Maybe you should get one, just a saturday job in a shop or something. You'd get some spending money and you'd get to meet ppl as well. It also helps overcome the amotivation because you have to show up for work whether you feel like it or not.
Finally a history of part time work while studying looks good when you leave school/ education and are looking to start a career.

[ May 27, 2003, 09:21: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[tbontob]

Taera, whether you know it or not, you are on the right path.

You took the first step in acknowledging that you have a problem. A lot of people take years to take this step and many avoid it.

You took the second step in not keeping it a secret. That takes an enormous amount of courage. You deserve to pat yourself on the back.

You took the third step of asking for help. This too is courageous since advice comes in so many types and varieties and often there is no easy way to determine the meaningful from the less meaningful to the harmful. As a result you may feel confused and tossed about with all of it.

This may not make a lot of sense now, but in your dispair, you are being blessed.

Something deep in yourself (whether it be God, your inner self, your higher power, etc) is telling you that you need to examine something.

Only you can determine what that something is.

Only you can make the right choices when you discover what that something is.

Your parents have given you a foundation. It may be a good foundation and little work is required or it may require a lot of repair. In some cases the repairs may be so extensive that the original foundation may no longer be recognizable.

Critically examine everything, including what advice may come your way. Some things may not make sense. If they don't, consider throwing it into the back of your mind with the suggestion that the answer will come to you.

Be wary of giving up your right to choose to others. Making a mistake as a result of free choice is often preferable to making the right decision based on what someone has told you to do. Often the choices we make are the right choices for us. But even if a wrong choice is made, we can still learn from the mistake.

[tesco samoa]

You could always take a few months and work on a cruise ship.