Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Kamog]

The cartoonist who draws that comic must be from another planet.

I didn't get the joke about the smiley "dimensional existence operating system", so I clicked the "today" button. ....um, OK, it's a borg cube bus. o_O It took me 10-15 seconds to figure this one out.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

well, it was mildly amusing. but he could have done better.

[Wardad]

From Actual Welfare Applications

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

[Wardad]

A guy goes into a store to buy a brain. He says to the guy behind the counter "what do ya have?" Well, I have a doctors brain for 50 thousand,...or I have a lawyers brain for 100 thousand,.... And I have a teenagers brain for 250 thousand. "TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND???" " why is it so much? "Because it's never been used".....

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[ January 16, 2004, 18:45: Message edited by: Wardad ]

[Wardad]

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/media.shtml

THE MUSIC VIDEO!

[ January 19, 2004, 18:10: Message edited by: Wardad ]

[Wardad]

SEE Britney Spears Naked!

http://www.funlol.com/content/conten...tneyspears.txt

[Suicide Junkie]

Note, if you are having trouble below;
1) select the cancel button by pushing the mouse button down over it without letting go.
2) drag the mouse off the button and then let go.
3) Now press Shift-Tab
4) Press spacebar to activate the command.

[Wardad]

Truth!!!!!!!!!!!!

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have naively thought it had something to do with their religion.

The true story has just been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington.
When one of these women gets married, on her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a taxi cab, a gas station, or a motel in Florida.

[ January 20, 2004, 00:48: Message edited by: Wardad ]

[Kamog]

Nothing happens even after you press the spacebar to activate the command.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

and you really thought anything that convoluted that wasn't a console cheat could be true?