Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Paul1980au]

Yes funny ha ha.

[Loser]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...ixnewstop.html

[narf poit chez BOOM]

that sounds like a hollywood movie.

i would say if that starts happening to your life, your doing something wrong.

[Atrocities]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
that sounds like a hollywood movie.

i would say if that starts happening to your life, your doing something wrong.

well said.

[Loser]

My life feels more like an 'indy' film (not Jones).

More dialog, less action, sometimes quite sureal, full of jokes, pratfalls, and sight gags that aren't good enough for mainstream but hit the target audience like a full does of sodium-pentathol.

Or something.

[ February 20, 2004, 11:16: Message edited by: Loser ]

[Wardad]

TRUTH or SPAM?

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
....Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
....George W. Bush
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"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
....Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
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"If you don't measure, if we're having to guess whether or not our children are learning, by the time it's too late we're going to find out that they're not, if they're not."
[Bush campaign speech, MSNBC, 2/15/00]
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"If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura."
[New York Times, 1/23/00]
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"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
....Governor George W. Bush, 9/21/97
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Perhaps trying to criticize federal regulations and red tape, Bush said it was important to "... make sure that there's not this kind of federal, that the federal cufflinks, that the federal structure on the programs, there needs to be flexibility at the state level." - [Bush speech,
Milwaukee, WI, 3/30/00]
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"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
....Governor George W. Bush
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On a solution for parents wanting to curb foul language and violence on TV?
"Put the 'off' button on."
[AP, 2/16/00]
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"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr
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'This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...' the presumptive GOP nominee said.
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"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
....George W. Bush, 9/5/93
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"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
....Governor George W. Bush

[narf poit chez BOOM]

well, this is a concise and funny way of stating the purpose of a roguelike dungeon builder:

One of the most important things in writing a computer game of
any sort is the way in which you represent the universe the game takes
place in. In a rogue-like, you will need to represent several things:

#1. The Dungeon
#2. The Slimy Things in The Dungeon
#3. The Pointy Things with which a player kills Slimy Things
#4. The Player that holds the Pointy Things

This Article will cover #1: The Dungeon.

Section 2 : The Dungeon

Alright, we need to find some way to represent the corridors and
rooms of The Dungeon itself. One of the easiest and most flexible methods
of doing this is to create a two-dimensional array of cells. Each cell will
be a wall, a floor, a door, a hideous spiked pit of death, or any number of
other things we might want to represent as one tile:

[Loser]

How many Message Group members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb

1 to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in Posts about changing light bulbs.


53 to flame the spell checkers.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

.. another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb"
is perfectly correct.

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation
of their "Acceptable use policy".

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this
discussion to a lightbulb forum.

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and
lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the Posts are relevant to this forum.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy
the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique
and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's.

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this
group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 to link all Posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

6 that flame them for not using the Search feature.

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 to ask what is a "FAQ".

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs".

16 Posts of two forum members that are exclusively talking to each other
only about lightbulbs and what they did that weekend .

24 Posts of telling them to take it to PM's.

1 moderator that comes in and says something about doing it wrong and that
everyone who disagrees gets a warning.

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, for my contribution, 'How many mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?'

If it's the elders, one to put in charge of changing the lightbulb, all the rest to suggest an apropriate lightbulb-changing activity and then 10 to play basketball.

if it's the relief society, three to organise it, five to bring refreshments, five to decorate, one to change the bulb and everyone else to eat the refreshments and talk.

If it's the bishopric (bishop and two councilers), one - to delagate it to the elders.

If it's the high priests, three. one to bring a chair, one to bring the oxygen bottles and masks and one to stand on the chair and change the bulb.

if it's the aaronic priesthood - one. he stands on a chair, puts the bulb in the socket and the whole world revolves around him.

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Loser:
How many Message Group members does it take to change a lightbulb?

ROFL!

How about a few more.

2 to ask if the light bulb topic could be "stickeyed"

14 "Bumps"

41 Posts explaining why the bulb needing changed was really the fault of the failed policies of (insert one) [Bush/Clinton/Republicans/Democrats]