320.2! 301.5, 311.3, 65.4

[Growltigga]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

I waft my private parts in your direction you stupid English kkkkknnnniiigggiiit

[Stone Mill]

I wanted to get to this before anyone else...
(edited for readability)

"You are a distusting fatbody!
Did your mother have any childeren that lived?
I didn't know they stacked poop that high!
Who's the slimy communist poop twinkle-toed #@%! who just signed his own death warrant?!?"

[Wardad]

Yo mama is sooo baaaddddd that...

She was fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job.

---------------------------------------------
HEYYYY!!!! When did this stop being the abuse thread.
You wanted abuse you turkey!!! This is missdirection. Abuse is down the flippen hall.

[ October 30, 2002, 16:56: Message edited by: Wardad ]

[Timstone]

Okay, it's an old one, but still.

Yo mamma is so fat she's got three women orbiting around her!

[Ragnarok]

I got joke. I just got it in a email I get every day with jokes.

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words, she'd always remind them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." The teacher said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SH!T."

Enjoy!

[ October 30, 2002, 17:47: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[geoschmo]

Originally posted by Growltigga:

quote:

---

Originally posted by LazarusLong42:
I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

LazarusLong42, on behalf of the legal profession everywhere, I feel at this juncture it would be appropriate to point out that you have as much chance of kissing a lawyer as I do of being sexually molested by Jennifer Lopez..

Pick upon another profession numbnuts

---

Hah. Getting kissed by a lawyer isn't hard. You can get a lawyer to do anything if you pay their fee. It's just a matter of finding one in your price range Laz. To be fair though the legal equivalent of Jennifer Lopez would probably be too much. Unless you find one that will do it "pro-bono".

Geoschmo

[Stone Mill]

I feel at this juncture it would be appropriate to point out that you have as much chance of kissing a lawyer as I do of being sexually molested by Jennifer Lopez..

This is not as rare as you think...

Actually, I've been molested by J. Lo...

I sat through the Wedding Planner (with the wife, of course) and I was raped of 2 precious hours from my life. I'm still not recovered, really. The tremours and crying episodes have subsided a bit now.

[Wardad]

with all apologies due to the late, great Dr. Seuss and his "green eggs and ham", may I present
"lame ads and spam"...

I am Sam
Sam I am!

That Sam I am
That Sam I am!
I do NOT like that Sam I am!

Do you like lame ads and spam?

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there
I would not like them anywhere!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

Would you, could you...sell your site?
Would you if the price were right?

I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

Would you...could you...just take stock?
Would you, since our IPO's a lock?

I would not COULD not just take stock
I don't believe that it's a lock
I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

Would you, could you, use our nav bar?
Would you, could you, be our star!

I would not COULD not with that nav bar
I would not COULD not be your star!
I would not COULD not just take stock
I don't believe that it's a lock
I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

Would you, could you...chat Online?
Try it, try it! I swear, I'm fine!

I would not COULD not chat Online.

You may like it...you will see
You may like talking nasty with me!

I would not, could not, so just pay me!
If you can't pay, then LET ME BE!

I would not COULD not just take stock
I don't believe that it's a lock
I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

More stock! More stock!
Would you, could you for more stock?

Not for more stock, and not Online
You can't pay me, and you're not fine!
I would not COULD not just take stock
I don't believe that it's a lock
I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am

You...do not LIKE lame ads and spam?

I do NOT like them, Sam I am.

Could you...would you...cheat on clicks?
Could you help me pay for chicks?

I would not COULD not cheat on clicks
I would not help you pay for chicks
I would not COULD not just take stock
I don't believe that it's a lock
I would not, could not sell my site
I would not if the price were right!
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do NOT like lame ads and spam
I do NOT like them,
Sam I am
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.liquid2k.com/cl2/humor.htm
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[tbontob]

Wardad, did you compose that?

Or did you get it for our benefit?

[Wardad]

Originally posted by tbontob:


Wardad, did you compose that?

Or did you get it for our benefit?

No, no composure here. The link is at the bottom.

I was at Esthers Follies in Austin Texas where they did an hilarious skit called Sam Da Man.

Would You, Could You, Wham and Bam....
...on a boat.... with a goat....etc...

also for your benefit(RATED R):

This is one of the very few country songs that I listened to more than once. You'll have to forgive the poor ole redneck for the misspelled word. Can't expect them to get all those words right!!
2 legged Bill
http://www.101kgb.com/media/tittiesandbeer.swf

[ October 30, 2002, 22:38: Message edited by: Wardad ]