KingMaker - let the Ascension War commence!

[DonCorazon]

Darkwind,
Utgard observes all but was not aware your offer required any return notice. We appreciated the thought nonetheless. We sympathize with your plight, having experienced a sneak attack by the Sidhe and realizing it is about as pleasurable as a staph infection.

We offer the following poem to Eriu's neighbors as recompense if we seemed ungrateful for the generosity you offered that we admittedly never received:

"First the sneaky Sidhe came for Utgard, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a cudly werewolf.

Then they came for the Ulm, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a studly black knight.

Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak up for me. "

Utgard hereby gives notice of our NAP termination = 3 turn notice with Eriu. We will not let Ulm stand alone in its final hours. We advise all of Eriu's neighbors do the same lest they find themselves alone in their final hours.

[atul]

And this, my friends, is the reason why one should always fight their opponents into oblivion.

[DonCorazon]

No Atul, the lesson here is actually don't start a fight unless you can finish it.

[AdmiralZhao]

The entire nation of Marignon is moved by the heroic struggle of Ulm and Utgard. Citizen action groups are forming to discuss the plight of the Ulmish refugees, young men are signing up for the army's elite self-flagellation corp, and even children are contributing by gathering firewood for the witch-hunter's upcoming fires. The Council of Marignon has no choice but to listen to the will of its people. We withdraw from all treaties with Eriu.

[cleveland]

Excellent.

Marignon, we shall see you in 3 months, about the time Ulm becomes mongoloid.

Utgard, we shall see you in 6 months, about the time Marignon becomes mongoloid...surely even a blind werewolf can count on his claws that 7 + 3 = 10?

[AdmiralZhao]

Note the blithe overconfidence of the Sidhe; no doubt the cause of their diplomatic troubles, and the reason they are already at war with 4 nations. I could not fault any of Eriu's other neighbors if they decide they to enter the war because of past slights by the Sidhe.

[Darkwind]

I did notice them Sidhe's strange idea that they could defeat Ulm in three turns (perhaps they haven't met the Black Knights?), but four nations? Is T'ien Ch'i in on this too? I'm not entirely sure if Jotunheim counts, since they seem to be down to only a fort now. Poor giants.

On a different note, I've really wanted to post a report like the one I just did for a while. Except more cheerful, obviously. Who knew comedic relief could be so depressed at times?

[JimMorrison]

atul said:
And this, my friends, is the reason why one should always fight their opponents into oblivion.

Or secure really long NAPs. >.>

[DonCorazon]

cleveland said:
Excellent.

Marignon, we shall see you in 3 months, about the time Ulm becomes mongoloid.

Utgard, we shall see you in 6 months, about the time Marignon becomes mongoloid...surely even a blind werewolf can count on his claws that 7 + 3 = 10?

Glad to see Eriu has booked all its neighbors for appointments in an orderly fashion. Would hate to get in the way of an Ulmish battleaxe or Marignese crossbow bolt.

Anyway, we hope there are no sidhe hiding out in Utgard - obviously should one be spotted, or anything that looks like a sidhe, or even a pile of sidhe droppings (imagine it looks like Froot Loops?) that would require us to bump our appointment to the front of the queue!

[cleveland]

@JimMorrison:
= Boring.

By turn 50, I intend to either either win this game or be dead. And I have no delusions about victory.

Apparently my neighbors do, or think their own neighbors are fools...


@DonCorazon:
You can't catch what you can't see...