Jokes and Riddles Centre - Page 75

narf poit chez BOOM · #**741** May 6th, 2004, 11:47 AM

A website just offered to install 'free access software' on my computer. Honest hackers?? Someone didn't think about the name??

Anyway, it gave me a chuckle so I'm posting this.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**742** May 6th, 2004, 11:56 PM

http://www.dog-complex.com/comic.php?view=215

Go read. Garfield style humor, from when Garfield was funny.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**743** May 7th, 2004, 09:21 AM

http://www.drunkduck.com/Screwball_Islands/

Wardad · #**744** May 11th, 2004, 04:06 AM

A real groaner...

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 cases of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.... But as we know.... the great ship did not make it to New York.... The ship hit an iceberg and sank.... and the cargo was forever lost....

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery.... were disconsolate at the loss.... Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day....

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th....and is known.... of course.... as Sinko de Mayo....

I wonder if the Tuna swallowed it, thus starting the trend of adding Mayonnaise to Tuna?

narf poit chez BOOM · #**745** May 13th, 2004, 06:42 AM

http://www.ucomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1993/05/10/

joeljermon · #**746** May 14th, 2004, 05:29 AM

What weapons do pirates use in SE4?

Phased PolAAARRRRRon Beams!

*Gets pelted by rotten fruit*

Fyron · #**747** May 14th, 2004, 05:46 AM

*throws rotten Phong heads at joeljermon*

Parasite · #**748** May 14th, 2004, 08:35 PM

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will
equal the height of the building."

His highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.

To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and
measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer. "

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him, 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**749** May 15th, 2004, 03:52 AM

*By Narf*

Quote:

Originally posted by joeljermon:
What weapons do pirates use in SE4?

Phased PolAAARRRRRon Beams!

*Gets pelted by rotten fruit*

http://www.the-whiteboard.com/index.html

[ May 15, 2004, 03:18: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Gandalf Parker · #**750** May 15th, 2004, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
A website just offered to install 'free access software' on my computer. Honest hackers?? Someone didn't think about the name??

Anyway, it gave me a chuckle so I'm posting this.

Just as bad as a "spell checker" reply but I keep wanting to refer to such "hackers" as "crackers". Sending someone a program to run has nothing to do with hacking
(but then Im biased)

It was a giggle though.

Gandalf Parker
-- www.alt-hacker.org