Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[mac5732]

the old one watches as the goon squad from the Won Take out, come strolling into the good old respectable B&G. He smiles as he fingers the switch in his hand. He waits, yes he waits, until the whole group is in the middle of the dance floor. He grins and hits the switch...... Immediatly the Won T goons are plastered from all directions with cream pies, followed by the ceiling opening over their heads and huge sticky, gooey, goobs of chocolate washes over their entire anatamys. Then as the screaming and yelling commence. The wize one pushes another button, another opening opens under their feet plummeting their torsos into a gaping hidden room below. Then, out of the hidden doorways, the FBWs come running out carring and dragging huge berlap sack to the edge of the abyss. They open up the sacks and tons of goose, chicken and duck feathers float furiously down into the confines below. Un-printable epitaphs are heard screeching from below. The smiling old one, talks into his hidden cell phone, and suddenly fresh cries of anquish are heard from the pit. A ladder is inserted into the pit and the entire good squad comes rushing up sqawking and sputtering all covered with chocolate, cream pie and feathers from head to toe, They immediatly run out the door and into the parking lot where Barry the T-Rex and his apostles are waiting with new torments for their hidiously covered bodies. They scream, and words like revenge are heard, The wize one just smiles and looks at the fax machine printing on his table. Low and behold there they are in high definition, glossy 8x10s of their fall from fame all covered in feathers and goo. The old one smiles, He proceeds to put postage on all the envelopes which contain copies of their pics. They are sent to all members of the forum... Soon hilarious laughter is heard around the globe... Oh and in their haste they appeared to have dropped all types of paper work, including the false deeds that GT had corrigably put in the areas where the gullible Won Ton group found them and thought they had put one over on them.. Well, that is not the case, in fact the signed papers that contained their signatures after putting them under an ultra violet light, showed that their signatures instead were on papers that turned over the Won Ton to the memberes of the B&G. The printing disappeared and in its place was the true printing, stating that the Won Ton is hereby certified and given tax free and without cost to the B&G

The wize one smiles and puts an add in all the local papers for new employees of the Won Ton

[Puke]

Mac is a good man and leads by example, but it doesnt seem like its getting through to you kids. The B&G has rules, and youre arseing them up. It goes like this:

you cant permenently destroy the place. you cant permenantly kill people. you can but should not speak for others. whenever possible, depreciate yourself instead of smiting the other guy. Those are the Foundation. in the years that this place has been operating, prohibitions against specific 'cheesy' trumping techniques like clones, time travel, and nuclear weapons have come into play. those dont bear going over in detail.

The point is, that this place is an excercise in creative writing. this place is NOT an excercise in who can dream up the biggest gun, and declare the other guy dead.

So in essesnce, you can come in here, create a whirlwhind of posts about how you kill several people whom are not even present at the time (poor GT...) and generally destroy the whole place, but we dont have to play along with you.

and if you havent gotten it, were not playing along with you. So go back to your kiddie-violence shack, and leave the friendly hostility to the pro's.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero walks in, for once managing to do so with style and grace, and applauds Puke's fine words.

"Well said, my good man, well said. After all, how can total annihilation ever hope to compete with degredation and humiliation? The latter are just more fun."

With that, Agent Zero pulls out his Custard-Pie Repeating Rifle and advances into the bar. He pats Puke reassuringly on the shoulder, wipes the ick off on Renegade, then grabs StrategianInUltima by the scruff of the neck, bends him over a bar stool, yanks down his pants and shoves his Custard-Pie Rifle firmly up Strategian's rectum.

"This," -he says as he flicks the weapon over to Full Automatic- "ought to be interesting." He then hauls back on the trigger and the sound of pasteries impacting the colon at high velocity fills the room. Eventually, Agent Zero relents, though not before custard has begun to leak from Stratigan's ears. Zero cleans off his gun, tucks it back into his coat and pulls up SIU's pants before letting him drop to the floor, where he lies quivering, numbed by the mortification that has just befallen him. Agent Zero reaches the door, pulls it open, then stops and turns around.

"Oh, and Strategian, I left ants in your pants," [/i] he says before disappearing into the night.

And then the screaming began....

[Puke]

"Well, that certainly seems a bit like overkill, but i'm not going to be the one to stand in the way of an Irishman with a pie-launcher."

puke grabs a jar of gherkins from the bar, and pours the entire countents into his gullet. with a room-shaking convulsion, he bealches the little things out onto the floor where they begin crawling about under their own power, and newly bestowed with sentience.

Tossing a fistfull of sword and spear shaped swizzle sticks to his newly formed Gherkin Army, puke decrees "Go forth my minions, and rid this place of our foes!"

after which the armed and militant Gherkins begin madly scrambling up chair legs, stool legs, and pant legs, and stabbing random patrons in the posterior. After a couple winces of pain, Mac looks positively annoyed. Powerman wonders why a small pickle is poking his armor with a piece of plastic.

"not quite as sentient as i hoped they would be..." complains puke, meekly.

[Alneyan]

I am highly disappointed Puke, truly I am. You forgot the nearly ritual "Moderate me down with a 1" message in closure of your post about the rules of the Cantina. I require you to add this phrase, in remembrance of the past!

We cannot actually rate you now though, but we can still give you a rating in our signatures, or mount a lobby to allow users to rate Puke. Therefore, the Association for the Moderation (or Lack Thereof) of Puke has been created on this very day, and shall strive to allow users to show whether they think Puke must be moderated.

This message was brought to you by the Committee for Nonsensical Silliness.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

A strange looking, silver-and-blue robot drone hovers into the B&G and proceeds to hang motionlessly in the air just out of range of all weapons present in the room. Pie Launchers, Gherking Artillery, Poker Launchers et al try to reach the 'bot but only go on to display how marvellously a chocolate pie can follow a ballistic trajectory before exploding in somebody's face.

Several speakers open up.

"Attention Minions and Assorted General Goons of the Forum Chat Bar & Grill.

This message has been sent to you via TransGalactical Courier services. Message sent by Strategia In Ultima.

You keep trying to make the Won-Ton Hut look silly. This is very childish, not to mention highly enjoyable to read. Please refrain from shooting pies, hot pokers, gherkins or whatever sentient or non-sentient foodstuffs or other assorted comic weaponry up people's lower ends, or repercussions WILL follow.

I am currently drawing up plans for comic retribution.

Be warned.

Thank you for listening to this message. Have a nice day."

The drone hovers out again, leaving the silent collection of people/things staring after it, while cleanerbots come to wipe the foodstuffs off everybody's face and suit.

[AgentZero]

The fabric of space time quivers, twists, and splits open, and something emerges in orbit. Moving at incredible speed it races towards one of the many fleets circling Sol III. The commander of one of SIU's COMCA's barely has enough time to utter the words "What the hell is that?" before the largest custard pie in the history of the galaxy covers his mighty ship with sticky goo.

Somewhere, deep within the many sub-basements of the Malfador offices, Agent Zero rolls about on the floor, laughing hysterically. Suddenly, he stops, sits up and stares soberly at David.

"What have I done? How the heck am I gonna top that one?"

[Puke]

Alneyan said:
I am highly disappointed Puke, truly I am. You forgot the nearly ritual "Moderate me down with a 1" message in closure of your post about the rules of the Cantina. I require you to add this phrase, in remembrance of the past!

We cannot actually rate you now though, but we can still give you a rating in our signatures, or mount a lobby to allow users to rate Puke. Therefore, the Association for the Moderation (or Lack Thereof) of Puke has been created on this very day, and shall strive to allow users to show whether they think Puke must be moderated.

This message was brought to you by the Committee for Nonsensical Silliness.

I didnt forget, they just took the rating system away. If it was still possible for me to be moderated to a 1, I'd be all over it. As it is, we will have to add a pS atribute to the SE4 code or something:

pS: puke SUCKS
-- im a masohcist, and i like reading his inane banter
- actually, i usually feel better after throwing up
0 i usually just ignore him
+ boy, he sure does suck
++ god i hate that guy. i just keep him on /ignore
+++ hes not even worth the time to murder, if i ever met his worthless self
! he sucks most of the time, but sometimes its funny when he's drunk

[Alneyan]

Maybe they can give you a rating by tweaking their database, or enable the whole ratings only for yourself? But aye, putting the Puke question in the Geek code seems the best solution. Hmm, do I have some room in my signature for that question...

[Raging Deadstar]

How About:

--! I'm a masochist, And I like reading his inane banter, But it's really funny when he's drunk.

That should be added to the SE4 Code me thinks, "Have you ever posted Drunk on A SEIV related Forum?"