(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[narf poit chez BOOM]

if you can't think of what to say, join a conversation. works for me. still need to learn how to start one, though.

[Taera]

i can start and further, just when its over i need something else to talk about. especially with people who have slightly or realy different interests from me.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

my dad suggets asking them about themselves and, if you know something about them, ask them about something in there lives. taking into account how well you know them. people are always impressed by that. considering how many people my dad knows, it's probably good advice.

[Taera]

hmm, i am doing that - but soon i still run out of topics to talk.

[Ruatha]

Just an idea of my own(c), no wife involved
How about meta conversation?
i e when you don't know what to say, say;
"-When you run out of topics in a discussion, what do you talk about then?"
Getting tips from the victims so to say?

[Taera]

LOL thats a great idea there ruatha

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by Taera:
hmm, i am doing that - but soon i still run out of topics to talk.

You can always ask for more details, or for specific details. Also, it sometimes helps to have a list of topics hidden away in your wallet. A sample list (no particular order, far from exhaustive):

• Work/School - co-workers/other students, employer/supervisor(s)/instructor(s), currently doing at
• The weather - enjoying it, favorite temperature, enjoy thunderstorms
• How did your day go / what's up / what have you been doing recently
• Music - favorite song, artist, genre; recently heard tunes
• Books - favorite story, author, genre; recently read books
• Movies - favorite movie, performer (careful with this one! ), director; recently seen movies
• Beliefs (Careful with this Category, but it is a must if you intend anything long term) - religion, politics, philosophy, specific issues
  

Note that with any such question, you will also want to ask "why?" in there somewhere. E.g.: If you ask "Do you like Bush being in the Oval Office?" you might get a yes/no response. However, if you follow that yes/no with "Any particular reason?" you are likely to get several sentences, at least.

[tbontob]

Hmmmm....

We all share the feeling of uncertainty, insecurity and awkwardness when we are with new people whose interests are a bit different from ours.

It does help to have a genuine interest in the other person as a person.

On some level this is sensed by the other person who then is likely to open about himself and more forgiving the faux pas we may make.

It also helps to remind oneself that it takes two to make a relationship and that if the other person should decline it, it is not our fault as the choice was not ours alone.

We may make a faux pax but it is always the choice of the other person as to how he is going to respond to it. To blame ourselves for the reactions of another person is taking on far too much responsibility.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't examine the faux pas and think about changing future behaviour. Quite the contrary. But we do need to be gentle with ourselves when we inadvertently make mistakes.

[Taera]

i dont know if anyone realy cares... but had just recently dawned on my, what is the real source of my troubles now.

you might have noticed by now that i have not-the-most-entertaining lifestyle. one might say, geeky or nerdy or whatever word you prefer. and yes it is so, no reason to hide from it. it is though not the way i realy want it to be.

about a year ago, back in israel, i made the semi-unconscious decision to change my life, but then moving to canada happened.

i believe its the fact that i am in a completely different, new and yet partially alien place for myself. in israel, i knew what i needed to do, where to do it, and i had my friends. here, im feeling lost.

it is good that the realization came to me, i guess now it'll be easier to solve the problem.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

This doesn't mean we shouldn't examine the faux pas and think about changing future behaviour. Quite the contrary. But we do need to be gentle with ourselves when we inadvertently make mistakes.

apologizing also helps.