Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

[Timstone]

A question General: "How the heck are you going to pay for such a contract?! Don't forget GT is a formidable lawyer. What do you say?! You don't know what a lawyer is?! well I'll be damned a lifeform without a clue what a lawyer is, this is the first I've ever met. Well, let me explain it to you in simple layman terms. He's a man without a live as we know it, he's actually dead, he lives for the sole purpose to leach on the pain and missery of other to cause even more suffering for the lot of them. Now you understand? I hope you survive the first meeting. If not, rest assured I'll attend your funeral of whatever."

[General Woundwort]

Lawyers? What use are those creatures? This is a simple proposition, based on mutual interest. If he accepts, he accepts. If not, I'll not be offended at it. And if he accepts, it is my responsibility to live up to my side of the contract - I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps. It's my word and his. I know the worth of his words. I wish to show mine.

So go drink your drink and let me finish my business with Mr. Growltigger here.

[Timstone]

Quote:
I'll not hide behind scraps of paper or lawyers if I fail. I'll take my lumps.

Hmm... be afraid if you fail, be very afraid.
Ah well, I'll tkae the brewski you offered and be off again. I just thought it would be fair to show you a glimpse of the darker side of our good old Cat.

[Growltigger]

General Woundwort, that is an interesting proposition. Bear with me a second whilst I just clear off some unnecessary "chaff" in the cantina.

GT walks over to Timstone, knees him in the testicles and then smashes him in the face with a large chorizo. As the scrawny Dutch chap hits the ground, GT jumps on his ankles and kicks him in the ribs.

Cheeky sod

Right General, as a lawyer (and therefore the oil that greases the wheels of finance and industry), you understand that I would like to document and regulate everything between us, so that we both understand our respective rights and obligations.

Right General, what you are talking about is a franchise right aren't you, Interesting concept and I suppose we can come to a mutually acceptable agreement as per rental of FBW's, licence of Cantina format, percentage of profits, IT rights vis a vis using the "Cantina" trade mark and format, side agreement detailing minumum level of sex and violence, supply agreement re all alcoholic beverages, loan of SMURF team and rental agreement for ninja shrimp, giant squid, killer mongooses etc, visitation rights for senior management, full recourse and optimumm control rights in case of default, margin ratchet linked to PIBOR/LIBOR currency movements based on a revolving tiered scale.... hold on

Timstone stirs before being swiftly kicked in the head by Growltigga.. right, where was I?

franchise cantina to be operated on a joint venture basis, with cash streams and up-level funding demarcated and paid into a trust account of which I am the sole beneficiary, your family held hostage for good behaviour and profits, usual penalty clauses including loss of digits and genitalia for minor infractions, governing law to be English, as modified by cantina precedents.

Yep, seems to be all here. Do you want to read the small print or just sign here?

[ July 08, 2003, 16:57: Message edited by: Growltigger ]

[General Woundwort]

Right, let's look this over...

rental of FBW's

Probably cloned in this case, but given the clientele expected, perhaps we should wait and see what dominant species would be required for them.

licence of Cantina format... IT rights vis a vis using the "Cantina" trade mark and format

Of course you would get full billing as the licensor - the name I had in mind was "Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector" or something similar, pending your approval of course.

percentage of profits

I am quite reasonable in this regard, only requiring the upkeep for my planned Starfury Merc Cruiser

side agreement detailing minumum level of sex and violence

What could be simpler? The expected clientele would provide all that and more. I'm more worried about them exceeding the limit and damaging the property.

supply agreement re all alcoholic beverages

I have a friend who specializes in this sort of thing. Even brings cases of Romulan ale across the Neutral Zone every now and then.

loan of SMURF team and rental agreement for ninja shrimp, giant squid, killer mongooses etc

Security, a must.

visitation rights for senior management

You were't planning on not visiting, were you? It wouldn't be a true franchise without your esteemed presence.

full recourse and optimumm control rights in case of default

I have every intention of fulfilling my obligations, but if by some awful mischance something should happen (my ship getting hit by an Abbidon AC, for instance), all due measures need to be taken so that the enterprise may function in my absence. Agreed.

margin ratchet linked to PIBOR/LIBOR currency movements based on a revolving tiered scale

Yes... yes... [looks up "PIBOR" on UWW (Universe Wide Web) palm pilot while Growltigger is busy]
Fine, no worries.

franchise cantina to be operated on a joint venture basis, with cash streams and up-level funding demarcated and paid into a trust account of which I am the sole beneficiary

As I plan to take my expenses "off the top" from the raw profits, this is perfectly acceptable.

your family held hostage for good behaviour and profits

Sad to say, I have none (comes with being a stocky philosophy geek who plays SEIV )

usual penalty clauses including loss of digits and genitalia for minor infractions

[checks med insurance... yep, regeneration procedures covered] No problem.

governing law to be English, as modified by cantina precedents.

As the English would say, righto old chap.

Originally posted by Growltigger:Yep, seems to be all here. Do you want to read the small print or just sign here?

Just one point. There is a band that wants to play in the cantina [jerks thumb over shoulder to a gaggle of black-eyed, white-skinned, gilled creatures carrying their instruments]. They got kicked off of their original gig on Tatooine, and are willing to work cheap. I think they might provide the right... atmosphere... for the cantina. Or, barring that, the first victims.

Other than that, I think we have a deal.

[Erax]

Boss ?... Growltigga ?... About the clones and the handyman job ?...

[Growltigger]

Woundwort, I am off to a meeting so shall reviewe your comments and revert in due course.

Erax, the handyman's job is yours, I like the plan you are developing, please can you safety proof ALL FBW's, especially the Kylie Minogue, Ines Sastre ones.

Be in touch chaps

[General Woundwort]

Originally posted by Growltigger:
Woundwort, I am off to a meeting so shall reviewe your comments and revert in due course.

I'll be in the corner booth with a Drachenbrau. Take your time.

[Erax]

OK, Boss !

Hmmm... so much to do...

Erax rounds up all of Mac's LH clones and sends them to the Cantina's 'safe storage area', together with all off-duty FBW's and the Space Marine clones from the old Bar Trek thread.

But there's something else that has to be fixed first, Taz is not at the bar ! Erax quickly drags out a bar-o-bot from the broom closet, starts it up and leaves it on duty.

There, the robot will hold the fort until Taz arrives.

Now for the clones. I need some time to think about this. Hmmmmm...

Erax wanders off to the unknown spaces in the back of the Cantina.

[sachmo]

Cuuuuuuuujoooooo, Cuuuujooooo, Cuuuuuujoooooo!