Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Growltigger]

David Gervais, nice to know that our resident computer doodling expert is still alive...

That rendition is fantastic, and I love Barry, although I am a little concerned about how one gets to the carpark to the Cantina, given that there appears to be a gap between them. Usually, not a problem but given that the cantina is in orbit, I can just see our more drunken and daft or decrepit patrons (ie Mac and Raging Deadstar (provided there is a sheep out in the car park) falling to their dooms when trying to go outside and take a leak....

(as if you could comfortably take a leak with a large hungry T-Rex staring at your manhood?!)

Can we have the picture with some Fluffy Bunny Waitresses in it? and also, we need some washing lines on the arms of the cantina adorned with some of the FBW's skimpier clothing (I am going to lie down now)

Yep, sorry to say that the mass produced American beer market has been a winner for Tigg-Scoff Industries, explains alot about the American psyche - I would want to conquer the world if my beer tasted as bloody awful as Michelob and Coors and (cue spitting and wretching noises) budweiser - YUKKKKK with a capital BLURRRGHGGGGGHHHHHH

[TurinTurambar]

Turin is feeling increasingly edgy... almost violent. First there's the smell of that black stain in the floor which everyone is politely ignoring whilst holding their noses, and now there's this talk of American beer...

"Mr. Barkeep, one of those 'galactical gargle-thingies' to wash the idea of Buttweiser out of my mouth... and then a pint of your best Oatmeal Stout please, I'm hungry... Hey, is there a kitchen here?"

An FBW's 6-inch spike heel sinks into a rotting floorboard behind him. With a little squeal she realizes a mongoose bit it off before she pulled it out; the swagger in her hips on her way to the back room is now accentuated by her being totally lopsided. Turin watches admiringly out of the corner of his eye until she is out of sight.

[El_Phil]

El Phil is confused he has to know the answer to this question!

"What's the plural of Mongoose? Is it Mongooses, as I know it isn't Mongeese. Because these are Mongeese!"

Shows a bizzare goose-mongoose crossbred beast being kept in a portable cage.

[mac5732]

Renegade, standing at the bar and drinking who knows what out of a peculuar looking container (similiar to a bed pan ) he continues to hear all that squealing and noises coming from the Wize One's table, Unable to stand not seeing the rendering of the Old One's flesh he turns to watch the spectacle. OHHHHH NNNNNNOOOOOO he yells as he googles the sight before his eyes.

There on the table, laying on its back and getting a tummy rub from the wise one is the mongoose he left behind. The poor thing is tantalized in extasy over the ministrations the Wize one is giving it. The squeals and other obnoxious noises that have been emitting, were not those of disgusting rendering and devouring of human flesh, but are those of happiness and contentment.

Unable to withstand the incredible sight, Renegade leaves the bar and heads into the Inner Sanctum to toss a few with the minions that reside there... The door closes, a gurgle is heard and then an outlandish scream rents the air, the door closes quickly, and disgusting noises are heard coming from within the inner sanctum.....

The Old one just smiles as he watches renegade enter the inner sanctum and the FBW waddling towards the bar all tilted over He continues to massage the killer mongoose and orders his usual , bacon, eggs, hash browns, scrambled eggs, rye toast and a brewski... (and of course puts it on GT's tab (that'll teach him to stay away this long )

He also has all the labels on the beer behind the bar removed to reveal the true makes of the brew.. and lo and behold it appears most are from the UK or the country up north.... The wize one, sits back and chuckles at the looks on the members faces.....

[Growltigger]

Hmmmm, I think you lot have forgotten that the mongoose in this cantina are my minions..... read the older posts, and in particular my epic battles with that evil corporate raiding tyrant and former business partner Dogscoff and his hordes of mutant sea-beasts and ninja shrimp (taste good though with a marie rose sauce)....

The mongoose are a no-touch zone, unless some of you want to meet the infamous Byzantine Hordes of Armoured Killer Mongoose led by their heroic and devishly good looking imperator, Alexius "Growltiggius" Nicophorus Comnemus the First.... wielding his Byzantine Battle Axe of Death, the famous red hot poker hand cannon and the hellishly violent Egg Whisk of Doom...

Ooh ooh, I can hear the battle trumpets calling, the tramp of the armoured mongoose legions assembling in the kitchen, the excited chitterings of the nasty rodents as they prepare their engines of war, sharpen their swords, gnash their fangs, wheel up their squirrel and wombat crewed Greek fire cannons, moan as they recall the awful taste of biting Mac in his private regions.....

Damn, where did I put that chainmail suit and axe?

[Puke]

yes, see... but this one has had its dangely-bits snipped off, and its quite tame.

*puke lifts some feathers in the rear of the mongoose, and it flushes to an embarrased shade of pink*

now hand me that barrel of drunken cucumbers at the bar, its time that I conjured a new gherkin legion.

*puke seizes a large glass drum of gherkins from the counter, and pours them down his gullett. After they have been regergitated unto the floor of the cantina, the newly-bestowed-with-sentience horde of gherkins go about arming themselves with swizzle sticks and prepare to do battle*

And now for the cavalry. Give me that jar of pickled pig's feet!

[NullAshton]

Ashton walks out of the cantina, and is lifted through space and a warppoint back into the Hut.

Back to the Hut, I got repairs to do.

[El_Phil]

El Phil ponders. It's quiet, almost too quiet. Time for action! He opens the cage containing the mongeese and lets it run free, as nature never intended

"Fly my pretty! Or run along and do that thing were you stand on your rear legs staring into space. Or both"

The mongeese tries to do both and fails miserably

"Damn. Barman, triple tequila and a pint! And keep them coming."

[Puke]

A pair of gherkins seize the tipple-tequila before it can be delivered to El Phil. A third snatches a book a matches from a basket on the bar, and lights the volitile liquid, before catapulting the flaming glass at the unsuspecting mongoose.

The burning bird immediatly stops staring into space and lets loose an unholy cry.

Squack Havoc and Let Loose the Mongeese of War!

[NullAshton]

Okay, so its more like B&G wars one... My mistake.

You can power down the wave motion guns now!