Creative? Artistic? Work With Shrapnel Games!

[Annette]

News Release For Immediate Release


Creative? Artistic? Work With Shrapnel Games!
Announcing Several New And Exciting Company Positions !


Hampstead, NC, 10 April 2008

A recent telephone conversation, transcribed word-for-word.

"Hey, we need to announce that we'll be seeking out some creative types for some
upcoming work."

"Creative types?"

"Yeah, writers. Artists."

"What about mimes?"

"I didn't think of that. Hmm, maybe we could use some mimes, too. Where are we
going to find them though?"

"Same place you'll find the writers and artists. Living in a magical pixie village near a
river of chocolate."

"I don't think that's where you'll find them."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because the magical pixie village got rezoned into a commercial district and is now
home to a super Wal-Mart."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. Damn city council. Okay, then where are we going to find
these folks?"

"What about the using the power of the Internet?"

"The Internet? My God, it's such a crazy idea it might work!"

And so here we are. Shrapnel Games, independent publisher of award-winning games
since 1999, is currently seeking individuals to fill several upcoming positions. If you're a
creative person looking to join a fun group of guys and gals fighting the good fight
against the commercially mundane, here's your chance! Specifically, we're looking for
individuals who can fulfill the following positions:

* Artist. Must be able to fuse traditional art skills and software skills to create a
compelling visual experience. Tasks will include art for advertising, in-game art, and
product art (e.g. manual cover art, etc). This is a long term position, possibly turning full
time.

* Cartoonists. Looking for original cartoons/comics, preferably in the form of an
ongoing series with unique characters and an appropriate theme. Must be consistent and
motivated. For the right comic this would be a long term position, possibly turning full
time.

* Genre writers. Looking for genre fiction writers. Military adventure, science-fiction,
fantasy, and so on as long as they're appropriate to our audience. Preferably short stories
or serials. Think of the days of pulp magazines. For the right writers this would be a
long term position.

* Mimes. Are you good at trapping yourself in an invisible box? Oh wait, I'm being
told that at the moment we're going to pass on mimes. Sorry folks, guess it's back to
hassling strangers on street corners for you. Watch out for angry penguins and their meat
loaves.

If you think you're the right candidate for any of the positions please drop us a line at
jobs@shrapnelgames.com with either 'Artist', 'Cartoonist', or 'Writer' in the subject
header. Make sure you do this to avoid the spam filter of terrible doom. In addition to
telling us a little about yourself and your skills please include either samples of your
work or links to examples (we'd prefer attachments). And just to be safe (this should
already be assumed) please don't get too crazy with the samples. A fifty million polygon
model of a tangerine or thousand page fanfic epic on Weird Worlds is nice, but a little too
much to sort through. And come to think of it, a wee bit scary.

Parties that show potential will be contacted with more details of the specifics concerning
the positions, and what would be expected. We look forward to seeing your submissions!

For anyone interested in the positions but you're not intimately familiar with our
operation first of all, shame on you! Shame, shame, shame. All is forgiven though if you
head on over to www.shrapnelgames.com and check out our complete line of products
including such notable titles as Dominions 3: The Awakening, winSPWW2, and Air
Assault Task Force. While there download demos or even full free games, and be sure to
watch for our future releases: Eat Electric Death!, an Infinite Space board game, and War
Plan Pacific, a computer PTO game that can be played in an evening!


To visit our company blog go to www.shrapnelcommunity.com/blog/

[Daynarr]

I'd like to apply for mime position. I'm well known for my ability to eat insane amount of cookies and pies without a sound. And I can do all that and still fit in a box, well, as long as the box is not too small.

[Annette]

Are you sure no slurping noise emits?

[Daynarr]

Nah, I mastered ancient art of cookie gulping with no sound. It took me a while to master it.

Well, I think I mastered it, at least I don't hear myself.

[Annette]

Do you have any video by chance? We're working on a new ad campaign...

[Magnus]

Hmm sounds interesting Anette, I have worked with Boku Strategy games and have worked with two games for HPS and is currently working on Horse & Musket 3. What kind of artist are you looking for? Is it a full time position?

[Annette]

Hi Magnus, nice to see you.

Must be able to fuse traditional art skills and software skills to create a
compelling visual experience. Tasks will include art for advertising, in-game art, and
product art (e.g. manual cover art, etc). This is a long term position, possibly turning full
time.

Annette

[HoneyBadger]

As a writer, am I allowed to be all stuck up and snotty, as in "Ofcourse you're familiar with all the many posts I've made in the forums, I'm sure further samples of shining perfection would only numb your senses to the Pure Literary Essence that is 'HoneyBadger', so you write the checks and I'll write the rest, and we'll just let the magic happen, shall we?" like that?

Or would I get to be all Kerouac, as in "The road came up to meet the elves like a winding Ouroboris of which there was no end and no beginning, just the beat of their feet on a path of dont-know-where and aint-there yet The Good Times were behind us, we knew it, and couldn't outrun the truth of it, no matter how fast our sandals slapped, but every sunset means a new horizon, and if you turned around to ever look back, all you'd see were the houses of the orcs, agents of the Man-friends once, brothers to the bone, share and share alike, but a few too many full belly nights and the Dark Lord's gold changes things, maybe forever, so we walked, man, onward and upward, to Oz, the emerald city, the shining tower, walked on to Hope, because that was the only light left to head toward, and the sun was coming down, fast like sand in a crazy sped up hourglass, and every grain was an inch of shadow on our cardboard heels."

Or maybe a little Moorcock? "Dark rode the day upon the weary shoulders of the knight of St. Germaine. Three of the monstrous fish-men had been spitted upon the grim hell-glaive, their souls sucked down to feed the insatiable demon prince Amothra, but four remained. The weird glistening slime of their salamander-mounts glinted ever so often in the light of the learing full moon, to let him know they were still behind him. His mount only minutes from collapse, Sir Belvedere, knowing his duty to the Chapterhouse, turned to meet them."

How about Stephen King?

Hell's Landscape.


"The scent of freshly mown grass filled Mac's nostrils, reminding him of the day he'd graduated from Bangor University. He could still recall the sound of the French horns filling the air like an invisible fog, and how Jenny's Liz Taylor perfume had smelled after, when they made love in the backseat of his dad's '59 Cadillac Coup. He wished he could swat the gnats that were swarming around his face, thirsty for the heavy sweat that clung to his clothing. It had seemed to pour out of his skin like from a shower nozzle when the heart-attack had struck, and now the gnats had gathered for the feast. Mac wondered if it would be crows gathering next.

He had seen a crow that morning, picking at something organic on the ground. He really wished he could swat the gnats, atleast swat at them, but his arms seemed to have run off when he wasn't looking, leaving behind poor knock-off Jap copies that didn't come with instructions in English. "Blood-suckers" his father had called them. The old man had a hysterical hatred of insects, above and beyond the low-grade burn of anger he had, it often seemed, towards all that dared live. For that matter, the old man, with his bad leg that kept him out of the war, had hated the Japanese more than any of the many soldiers Mac had acquainted himself with, and left a lifelong wariness towards them ingrained in Mac's psyche. He felt a secret shame of that, and wished he could shake it, like he'd shook his father's alchoholism but had dived headlong into the old bastard's workaholism. He'd learned to eat sushi on his honeymoon in Maui, that was worth something. Mac wondered if the heart-attack that had finally killed his old man had felt as bad as Mac's did. The old man had had three, and this was only Mac's first inning. He didn't think he'd make it to three, as the lawn-mower, filled with some malevolent machine-purpose, came ever closer, the grind of the rotating blades easily droning out the buzz of the insects. "Three strikes, your out!" thought Mac, and the thought made him want to giggle, to burst out laughing in big chest-bursting guffas. That's it! He'd laugh at Death. Laugh in Death's boney, perpetually grinning face. Mac doubted Death would laugh back, but atleast he was sure to get a smile, ah hah! After all, what was about to occur, within only a few broken and winding down heartbeats, infact, proved that Death had a sense of humor. Mac, the state's biggest fertilizer salesman, was about to become...

Well...

The lawn-mower made a high squealing protest, almost to match Mac's own, as it rode over his prostrate body. A small part of him, standing outside of the horrible pain and humiliating death, came up with a last, mad, parting joke. "Green light-red light, red light-green light!" that perhaps only he truly got.

The lawnmower didn't have a sense of humor at all, but the demon-thing locked inside of the carburator did, and laughed and laughed as the lawnmower shuddered to a stop- and then reversed itself."

(Copyright held by me, written right now)

I don't really have like a writer's portfolio, though, is the thing.