Yew maht be uh Jehd-eye redneck if...

[General Woundwort]

You might be a redneck Jedi if...

1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage-colored.
3. You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
5. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
6. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
7. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
8. You ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
9. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
10. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
11. You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
12. You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
13. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
14. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
15. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.
16. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
17. You have ever accidentally referred to Stormtroopers as "them damn Yankees."
18. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
20. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.

http://www.incompetech.com/gallimauf...i_redneck.html

[Randallw]

21. You have the highest known concentration of midichlorians, because of inbreeding.
22. You discover that the woman in your love triangle, you-your best friend-the girl,is your sister and it don't make a damn bit of difference.

[NullAshton]

23. You make a stupid topic such as this one.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

NA, you prolly don't know this but a while back there were over half a dozen threads like this one. They're all dead now, but up until a few months ago (about 1 month after I registered) they were very much alive.

23. (ignoring NA's comment) If you enrage both Ewoks and Wookiees by saying "ah, all those furry critters, they're all the same ter me."
24. If you abstain from using a lightsaber and use a shotgun instead.
25. If, in the above case, you modified your shotgun and had it emit a buzzing sound to fool other Jedi into thinking it was a lightsaber.

[NullAshton]

26. If you try using your own 'modifications' to your lightsaber in combat, and accidentally blow something up.

[Atrocities]

27. If your light saber is also your razer.
28. If your the reason why warning labels were added to Light Sabers
29. If you became a Jedi only to meet chicks
30. You speeder has a Light Saber rack.
31. If you named your light Saber after your mother/sister.
32. The fact that you named your light saber
33. You think the little Green guy would make for some "my'tee fine eat'n."
34. If you have ever used your light saber to skin a TaunTaun.
35. If you practice throwing your light saber at the broad side of a barn without using force powers.
36. If you have ever used an R2 unit for sex.
37. If You are heavily attracted to female wookiee's
38. If your X-wing is painted Orange with blue stripes and white stars.
39. If you think teenage girls are space angels come to rescue you.
40. If you have ever lit a cigerret with your light saber.

[NullAshton]

Han Solo is a redneck?

[Thermodyne]

41. Your Varmint rifle has an eletronic scope and night vision



Hangs head in shame

[douglas]

Please avoid posting spoilers here, NullAshton, especially in response to someone who has already stated he hasn't read the books.

The New Jedi Order series starts with Vector Prime by R. A. Salvatore. The rest of the books were written by several different authors, most good, some less so, but the general plot is quite good. If you decide partway through a particular book that it's not very good, you should still finish it to avoid missing plot points that will be important in later, better books. The full list is:

Vector Prime
Dark Tide I: Onslaught
Dark Tide II: Ruin
Agent of Chaos I: Hero's Trial
Agent of Chaos II: Jedi Eclipse
Balance Point
Recovery (e-book, included in the paperback version of Star by Star)
Edge of Victory I: Conquest
Edge of Victory II: Rebirth
Star by Star
Dark Journey
Enemy Lines I: Rebel Dream
Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand
Traitor
Destiny's Way
Ylesia (e-book, available for download at sw.com)
Force Heretic I: Remnant
Force Heretic II: Refugee
Force Heretic III: Reunion
The Final Prophecy
The Unifying Force

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

YOUNGLINGS YOUNGLINGS YOUNGLINGS!!!!!

53. Instead of meditating, you go to the local Cantina and get dead drunk on Force Beer.
54. If, after doing 53, when you drive home you catch up with a low-flying TIE Fighter.
55. If, after pulling a 54, you scream at the TIE Fighter to "git the hill offa ma prapertee!" and fire a few shots with your shotgun.