OT - Tigg-scoff birthday party

[dogscoff]

After a week of frantic preparation, the Tigg-scoff bithday party is ready to begin. The gates to the Party palace are thrown open and the jostling masses outside are admitted. Creatures of all species and persuasions from across the galaxy file in and seat themselves at the plush tables, admiring he opulent decorations and attractions around them.

The giant rotating Kylie statue is the centrepiece, squirting out champagne as planned. Teams of cheerleaders can be seen on the sidelines, practising their moves for later when they will support the FBW tag wrestling tournament.

Screams, followed by the gurglings of auto-cloners can be faintly heard as competitors in the Bill Gatres clone creative pain threshold competition practise for the big event.

Hundreds of "Tiggettes" - sexy women in little more than Tiger ears and tails - are performing amazing feats of trapezery above the tables.

Everyone is just starting to get into the swing of things when the music stops and a drum roll commences. It breaks into funky music and the dimmed lights give way to lasers and spotlights which pick out the first guest of honour. It's Dogscoff. He makes his way through the crowd, shaking hands and receiving thanks for the party along the way. Doris (his Valkyrie personal wellfare enforcement officer) follows, wearing slinky black number which not only shows off her impressive curves but her terrifying array of concealed weapons. Dogscoff eventually arrives at the central table, which overlooks the honey-filled wrestling pit and has still an empty seat reserved for Growltigga. The party can't start until he's here. I'm sure he'll make a good entrance...

[Growltigga]

Like the first ripples upon the waters of the ocean which lead to mightiest tsunamis, a wave of silence echoes out across the party palace, gathering strength as it grows. All fall quiet, the cheerleaders stop cheerleading, the Bill Gates-clone abUsers stop abusing, the FBW wrestlers stop rubbing in the baby oil... all is quiet.

All heads look upwards, shifting shafts of shimmering fire are weaving across the heavens, sparking in the night in glittering bursts of actinic fire. The crowds tremble for verily, they are aware that they are now in the presence of majesty, glory and power in all its incarnations. The chiaroscuro of lights coalesces and focuses on one glittering point, a ball of fire gathers there and the crowds can feel that something great and wonderful is beginning to form there.

The silence is shattered by the most god-almightly loudest guitar powerchord in the history of mankind, a guitar shaped starship erupts from the glowing ball of fire and on the flat top deck, a tuxedo-clad Growltigga can be seen standing, with Sophie Marceau, Ines Sastre, Claudia Schiffer, Heidi Klum and Cindy Crawford arrayed artfully at his feet. Around him, the reformed members of Queen launch into "We will rock you" and the crowd go wild.

The spaceship settles by the VIP suite and Growltigga, looking more debonaire than Piers Brosnan and more sexy than Brad Pitt, walks over to his seat. He nods to Dogscoff and raises his arms, all goes quiet again as the mighty kat turns to faces the adoring crowds...

"Courtesy of Tigg-Scoff plc, let the party begin, the bar is free all night"

Hundreds are trampled in the ensuing stampede

[dogscoff]

the reformed members of Queen launch into "We will rock you"

Umm... some of the members of queen will require more reforming than others, if you know what I mean. Maybe you got hold of some authentic genetic material for the auto-cloner...

With a fanfare, the preliminary bouts of the FBW tag-wrestling begin. Four fully oiled FBWs begin writhing around at the bottom of the honey-pit, with one of the delightful Cue Cappan girls from Madame Ooloo's acting as referee. The crowd goes silent at the spectacle, and Dogscoff has to physically restrain Tigga, who is ready to use the diving board straight away. "Save it for later, mate. Trust me, it will be worth it..."

[Growltigga]

BOINNGG BOINNNG BOINGG BOINNGG

wibble wibble wibble frisnet

GRRRRRRRR!!!!!

[Gryphin]

Warnning, Warning, Warning
The Galactic Wide Famous Gryphin Positon will be demonstrated here befor your very eyes, (or what ever sensory organs you have). We would like to emphasize this is not for the weak of heart, (or what ever organ pumps your what ever it pumps). As such the live demo will be held in the newly built Gryphin Growltigga Stadium. :: points over there ::
Attend at your own risk. Mangment denys respociblity for your health.
(GT you might want to insert some leaglese here)

[Growltigga]

I cant insert any legalese, I am too busy dancing