OT-Horrorscope

[tesco samoa]

For the week of Feb 12th

Source : By Lloyd Schumner Sr.
Retired Machinist and
A.A.P.B.-Certified Astrologer

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
The media will proclaim you the new John F. Kennedy for your charisma, sense of style, and massive gunshot wound to the back of the head.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Your concern over what kind of mother you'll be is admirable, not to mention rare for such a young man.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
You'll continue to question your faith in a God who would allow the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You're proud of your conviction that rules were made to be broken, but it might be wise to keep this from the prosecuting attorney.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
All the wishing in the world can't bring your dead mother back to life, but animal sacrifices have been known to work wonders.

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, but that doesn't mean you should feel comfortable once you're out of the hospital.
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
You will finally be cleared of wrongdoing in the infamous "Bloodbath At Bala Hissar," when the Royal British Marines admit it happened 130 years before you were born.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You'll run up against a problem that all the charm in the world can't solve, so it's a good thing you haven't got any.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You're one of the rare people who's willing to die for what you believe in, which is strange because you mostly just believe in using as many coupons as possible.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
It's nice that you enjoyed the chicken pot pie, chips, and beer, but the genie was surprised you didn't try the old "wishing for more wishes" trick.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
Next week is a good one for romance in the workplace, but why they always have to use your office is beyond you.

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
The incident-reconstruction specialists will thank you for the chance to work with so many monkeys.