WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Kamog · #1 January 23rd, 2003, 04:29 AM

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
According to scientists and mathematicians

KURT GODEL
It cannot be proved whether the chicken crossed the road.

WERNER HEISENBERG
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

ISAAC NEWTON
1. Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
2. It was pushed on the road.
3. It was pushed on the road by another chicken, which went away from the road.

PIERRE DE FERMAT
1. I just don't have room here to give the full explanation.
2. It did not fit on the margin on this side.
3. Crossing the road was the path with the minimum value of propagation time.

BLAISE PASCAL
It was pressured to cross the road.

GEORG SIMON OHM
There was more resistance on this side of the road.

ALESSANDRO VOLTA
The other side had more potential.

PAUL ERDOS
It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.

ZENO OF ELEA
To prove it could never reach the other side.

WOLFGANG PAULI
There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

ARCHIMEDES
To actualize its potential.

STEPHEN HAWKING
The first seconds made the universe in such a way that chickens cross the road.

ARISTOTLE
1. It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
2. The other side of the road was its natural place.

CHARLES DARWIN
1. It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
2. The fittest chickens cross the road.

RENE DESCARTES
It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

STEPHEN JAY GOULD
It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behaviour, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviours that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

EDWIN POWELL HUBBLE
There are two possibilities: One that the distance between the chicken and the side of the road that it was on before it crossed is expanding, and the other, that the distance is contracting, and will collapse on itself.

couslee · #2 January 23rd, 2003, 04:40 AM

Hoover Vaccume: it was sucked across the road.

Charlie Brown: why's everyone always picking on the chicken?

The Chicken: NONE OF YOUR ******* BUSINESS!

[ January 23, 2003, 02:48: Message edited by: couslee ]

Wardad · #3 January 23rd, 2003, 06:57 AM

Why did the pervert cross the road?
?
?
?
ans: He was stuck in the chicken.

Timstone · #4 January 23rd, 2003, 12:34 PM

Hahahahahahaha...... LOL!!!
Chicken logic rules!

Ed Kolis · #5 January 23rd, 2003, 08:21 PM

I don't even get the Ronald Reagan reference... must be because he was elected 3 years before I was born!

Like the pervert one though

Wardad · #6 January 23rd, 2003, 08:58 PM

I did edit out the more offensive ones. The Ronald Reagan one slipped by.
FYI youngster... Mr. Reagan suffered from Alzhiemer later in life. It was in bad taste.

geoschmo · #7 January 23rd, 2003, 09:13 PM

I don't think the Reagan one was a poke at his disease but his "reputation" of being unaware of what was going on around him while in office. I think the reputation was undeserved, but I didn't take the joke as offensive.

What about Heisenberg's Chicken?
You can't measure precisly when it crossed the road without changing the result somewhat.

Doesn't really answer the question of why though.

EDIT: Heh, somehow I missed your Heisenberg one in the list. oops.

[ January 23, 2003, 19:15: Message edited by: geoschmo ]