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  #1  
Old May 20th, 2003, 08:57 PM

Stone Mill Stone Mill is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

I hope those new ship designs are based on some breakthrough technologies. And I hope the crews get some practice at the ship/fleet training facilities fighting off pirates and such...


Keep it up.
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  #2  
Old May 20th, 2003, 09:11 PM

Raging Deadstar Raging Deadstar is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

*Ba Da Bump*

Shameful, but i'm going for another 2 opinions and see if i should string the plot out a bit more! But I have a feeling you want me to get to the action soon!
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  #3  
Old May 20th, 2003, 09:57 PM
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Ragnarok Ragnarok is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

I just now had the time to read your story RD. Very nice writting; I enjoy how you put into great detail the way the buildings are set up and so forth. No detail is too small to be left out. Hopefully whenever I get back to my story it will be half as good as yours is turning out to be. (Note: I'm working on a plot like for this chapter in my head now. So hopefully I can put that into 'writing' soon.)
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Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
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I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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  #4  
Old May 20th, 2003, 10:02 PM
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Ruatha Ruatha is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

Quote:
Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
*Ba Da Bump*

Shameful, but i'm going for another 2 opinions and see if i should string the plot out a bit more! But I have a feeling you want me to get to the action soon!
Yep, more action.
Explosions and death.
Destroy those beutiful buildings!
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  #5  
Old June 7th, 2003, 02:56 PM

Raging Deadstar Raging Deadstar is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

Ok this is kind of a fill-in chapter so i can implement some new characters and link it to the ideas i have, the next chapter should be up tonight, i'm writing it as we speak

The grand street of Ashguard stretched far out into the distance, packed to the edges with the people of the Tamarrian Continuum. Thousands of colours adorned the sea of people, each wearing a sash to represent their cult. On each side the large pyramids and temples grew like trees on a riverbed. The street was roughly a mile long and paved with sandstone slabs. People hung from the large statues that stood proudly on each side of the road. Heroes of the Tamarrian’s past. The road led up to the 50 or so steps that led up to the grand tower of the Continuum. At the top of these steps stood a glass podium, a small microphone waited for its speaker. Beyond the glass podium a large marble plaza stretched on before the giant tower that was the Grand Temple reached up to the sky. It’s pale stone sides glowed in the twin suns that bathed everything in a pleasant luminescence. A’tush leaned on his hardwood staff and proudly walked out, the crowd erupted into cheers of adoration. The thunderous applause continued till A’tush modestly signalled for silence. He was dressed in white silk that shone and glimmered, around the neck and the ends of the sleeves were silver with strange blackened inscriptions. Upon his head stood a circlet of silver encrusted with small diamond like jewels between the entwining wires. He looked behind him nervously, the smile returned to his face as he saw his two advisors Maliki and Ara’drei, Ara’drei was a tallish Tamarrian with a noticeably longer neck than most, dressed in a long white robe with a black piece of fabric draped over one of his shoulders to his opposite waist, A symbol that he was in the Death Cult. His cheeks were quite narrow; his eyes were a rare dark brown and shined almost unnaturally. He had a small crop of hair that met in a V shape on his forehead. Beside them stood the 10 members of the High Priests and around them the Omnicron guards clad in metallic armour and large azure cloaks carrying large staffs with sharpened blades. A’tush coughed slightly and cleared his chest.

“Welcome Children of Tamarr! Like all things that the beauty of nature bestows upon us things must come to an end. The grand trees that line our forests, the beautiful flowers that enchant our gardens, even the twin suns that shine above us will fade to dusk…” The crowd was silent, all waiting in hushed anticipation, many had guessed that today High Omnicron A’tush would step down as leader of the Tamarrian Continuum.
“And as the fabled empires that forged the stars rose and came to rest so must my reign over such wonderful citizens. I’m afraid my time has past good friends, and I cannot represent such a great empire any longer. Over my years I have seen the strongest of our people travel to and beyond the extreme, in our future I can see us travelling further, to the stars and beyond, as a great nation! So I must proudly step down and with all my honour give way to the new High Omnicron, her highness Jyttsche!” Some of the crowd burst into applause, not only for the new High Omnicron but also for A’tush retiring. Maliki gulped slightly, it was hard for him to see his most trusted friend step down from his position, it worried him slightly that A’tush was nearing his ascension. He looked over at the row of guards; there were 10 on each side facing each other with their staffs held above their shoulders, creating a triangular arch in which the new High Omnicron began to walk under. Maliki gasped and many people turned their heads, she was so… Maliki couldn’t search for a word that summed her up; beautiful in his opinion was too much of an understatement. Her blue hair was long and straight, glinting in the sunlight like sapphire, the tips were strangely a faint silver colour that parted across her shoulders. Along her face around her eyes were two darker symmetrical patterns that spread like wings across her lilac face, under her hair ran a chain that then ran across her forehead, a silver jewel hung from it. She was dressed in white robes, her sleeves and top of her chest were veiled in snowy mesh and strands of the mesh fell from her wrists in an arcing loop to the backs of her arms. She slowly walked underneath the staffs and approached the podium, A’tush bowed and handed over his circlet and bestowed it upon Jyttsche’s head. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers as holocams flashed dazzling all with a phosphorous blare. Large projectors beamed the pictures into the sky as thousands gazed upwards. Maliki gazed at the beautiful young women that was his new ruler, her face radiated euphoria. But she had an aura of caution, as if the enormity of the task before her was weighing down on her shoulders.
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  #6  
Old June 7th, 2003, 07:36 PM

Raging Deadstar Raging Deadstar is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

Ok a more exciting chapter, hope you enjoy

The long train of ships slowly crossed the Metallah system. This system was the Last system claimed as Taeron space and one of the warp points led to Alpha Leonis, home system of the Tamarrian’s. The ships were essentially quite small compared to an escort but they were a staple to the Taeron Confederacy. This train was one of many that carried the valuable resources the colonies produced. This particular one was heading for the Gryphon Planetary Space Yards, the main homeworld of the Taeron. The ships were the typical blue and gold of Taeron design and looked like miniature Versions of their medium transports and the storage compartments were bursting with all resources. There were 8 of these tiny transports and 2 gunship’s to protect them. They never noticed the small group of 7 strange ships close in on them. They were all silver and the stars light reflected and shimmered on the hulls of the deadly looking craft. There were no distinguishable markings on any of these crafts and they didn’t give off any signal declaring their allegiance to any empire, they cruised along and quickly formed an attack formation. These ships were a joint venture created by the Tamarrian/Phong Alliance. These particular craft belonged to the Tamarrian’s intelligence agency. Their mission was set, to capture as many of these transports and bring the resources to Alpha Leonis. 1 of them was a fleet control ship and the rest specially designed “mini-fighters”. They weren’t as strong as a Taeron Gunship but with a number advantage they had an advantage. They split into 2 Groups and quickly flew in, opening fire with lasers as they attacked. The purple beams began to demolish the gunships.

“The battle goes well, order the fleet to disable offensive craft and then board as many of the transports, hopefully our communications jamming technology will stop them sending out a distress call!” The captain smiled and turned round to his first officer. The Captain was a Tamarrian and the first officer a Phong. The Intelligence agency allowed any race to join to give it a better chance of avoiding detection. The first Officer looked around, his large eyes scanned the displays and his strange polymer skin gently twisted into a smile.
“I shall order the boarding teams to start, and signal our defectors to disable their engines Captain!” Replied the First Officer, he quickly pressed a few buttons and barked out some orders. This raid was possible because many of the Taeron transports used slave labour and it was pretty easy to find a disgruntled Taeron to defect and do the intelligence’s dirty work, it was much more cost effective compared to setting up enough defectors on all ships to overthrow the crew. The two aliens watched as the ships finished off the gunships and began to board the transports. They knew exactly what ships to board first, the defectors were on board the ones that would attempt to escape. Suddenly a giant explosion ripped through 1 of the ships that was escaping, the shards of metal flailing off into the void of space.
“Alas, it seems one of the defectors had to improvise, At least those resources won’t be used by the Taeron, her sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

She looked around the giant room, the main generator of the ship was before her and behind that the ion drives. She could hear the giant rings rotating and grinding round the engines. She was a Taeron, dressed only in the blue uniform that all of the “weak” on the ships had to wear. Originally the Taeron had ordered all those classed as weak to be destroyed and it worked for thousands of years. But eventually they found it easier to use them as slave labour. She quickly entered one of her superior’s codes. She shuddered in disgust, remembering the seduction of the captain of the ship, she hated the Taeron’s way of life, she hated the society, hated the rulers, hated those who enforced meaningless bloodshed and labour! She could remember countless family members being killed off because they reached the age of “elder culling” She had lost both parents that way and she despised them for it. The computer screen flashed and she began the process of shutting down the large engines. Giant vents of steam began to stem from ventilation vents and the room slowly began to be filled with a slight fog. Pushing all thoughts of hatred to the back of her mind she continued shutting down the engines, she never heard the gentle clinks of someone coming down the ladder into the room, she never heard them drawing the bLaster and only when she felt the barrel push against her temple did she stop her actions. Her breath grew quicker and instinct took over as she span round and punched the Taeron straight in the face, leaving an orange bloody mess. Suddenly the room was illuminated for a second and she felt numbness in her thigh, She looked down and saw the burnt mess that was her thigh, orange blood-oozing out at an alarming rate, but she never felt it, the bLaster had burnt all the nerves in her leg. She staggered back and hit the generator control cylinder and leaned against it. The male Taeron was swearing expletives as he came over and kicked her legs from out of her. She staggered and fell to the floor, landing on her knees. She felt a subtle singe of pain shoot up her thigh and let out a slight gasp. The Male now proceeded to push the bLaster against her head again and was still swearing. She felt her legs giving out of her and she quickly began typing gently, the male hadn’t noticed and began to give her a lecture on betraying the Taeron Confederacy. He never noticed her pushing a fatal sequence and entering the captain’s password, he never noticed her push the captains key card into the drive. He finally stopped his boasting of loyalty and his face radiated pleasure, dreaming of promotions he could get for stopping a sabotage operation and killing a Taeron traitor.
“Any Last requests?” He asked, the female realising the Terran phrase. She pressed the key and watched as blue lights started flashing everywhere and sirens sounded.
“Only that your death is slow and painful!” she replied coolly, she felt a pain, the most intense pain she had ever felt before, but it was only for a split second. The side of her head exploded into a mess of blood that covered the computer and sent bits of burnt muscle and flesh everywhere, her head banged off the keyboard and she toppled to the floor, leaving the world for a better place, and leaving her enemies to a quick and unavoidable death!
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  #7  
Old June 8th, 2003, 09:36 PM

Raging Deadstar Raging Deadstar is offline
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Default Re: The Liberation of Tamarr

Bump

Come on guys, one opinion on the Last chapter, thats all i'm asking
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